Taylor Swift Wrote a Song About John Mayer

October 19th, 2010 // 155 Comments

For those of you lying awake at night wondering if John Mayer really did have sex with Taylor Swift, it turns out the answer is not only “yes,” but also, “and he bounced immediately afterward.” How do I know? She’s telling us through the gift of song. Here are the lyrics to Taylor’s new single “Dear John” which might as well’ve been titled, “Hope You Liked My Vagina, John Mayer. Yes, That John Mayer. The Douchebag Singer.” Via Popeater:

It was wrong
Don’t you think nineteen’s too young
To be played
By your dark, twisted games
When I loved you so.

Granted, there comes a time in every young girl’s life when she has to have sex with the wrong man – Consensual sex, Ben Roethlisberger. Consensual. Calm down. – to learn a valuable lesson about love, I honestly couldn’t tell you what that lesson is because I’m the one with the penis. Which is why it’s important for all you ladies to keep sleeping with questionable guys until someone writes it down. And on that note, I’ll be at Starbucks practicing something called a “neg,” which apparently works because you’re all stupidheads. (Am I doing it right?)

Dear John
I see it all now that you’re gone
Don’t you think I was too young
To be messed with
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home
I should’ve known.

It was wrong
Don’t you think nineteen’s too young
To be played
By your dark, twisted games
When I loved you so.

My mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You’ll add my name to your long list of traitors
Who don’t understand
And I’ll look back in regret
I ignored what they said ‘Run as fast as you can.

Photo: Splash News

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  1. LISTENUP

    SHE OBVIOUSLY DIDN’T BANG HIM. Everyone knows John Mayer would spill all the details if they had sex once Taylor comes out swinging like this. I think she would at least know that, and if she put this song out, and she did bang him, he would spill all the details and it would ruin her image. IT’s most likely just a case of her thinking they had true love going on but he just wanted to get her in bed so she left and cried about it before anything could happen.

    • LISTENUP

      In fact John is probably going to come out and publicly say he did not sleep with her to get people off his back because she isn’t going to talk about it, she never talks about these things she just always refers people to listen to the song.

      • James

        haha aparently john came out and said he mucked her big deal she got laid shes fuckin 21 for god sakes it would be stupid if she never had a hot beef injection. She just doesn’t talk publicly about her personal life which is fine. If shes ever asked a question about sex she doesnt answer which clearly means shes no virgin cause if she was she wouldnt skip the question shed simply say no im a virgin.

  2. Gobo

    She clearly knew about his history and that he was a playa, yet still decides to pursue him? Where is her common sense?

    • Fahmi

      That is so true! Not so clever now are we taylor? She should’ve just stuck to taylor lautner or joe. Did she think John would stop messing about and settle down with her?? *Eyebrow raise*

  3. captain america

    after recording this song alot of musicians went IMPOTENT, folks!!

  4. Taylor Swift
    Hrmmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Taylor swift is sooo boring/lame. It kills me. I think in her head she thinks she’s this brilliant musician when really she is all hype and totally blows.

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    Dear Kanye

    Get the Fuck off my stage!

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  8. littlemissauteur

    Holy cow! Taylor swift actually wrote a song based in reality and with a bit a of depth no less!
    Unfortunately, it involves the same whiny innocent act as with previous songs, but at least it’s mildly age-appropriate. Now, to answer your question Ms. Swift; no nineteen isn’t too young to have your heart broken, or, err whatever “hit it and quit it” deal happened with you and Mayer. See the problem is that John Mayer is a complete douchebag. I don’t really feel sorry for you, but hey, at least the experience inspired a mediocre song. The lyrics are, again, predictably simplistic and boring, but I’m always down with taking stabs at Mr. McDouche so it’s alright with me.

    P.S.: This article is horribly written. The punctuation, grammar, spelling, and rhythm are lousy. I don’t understand why I have to sludge my way through 4 years of college and 2 more years of graduate school to get a decent job as a writer, when people who can hardly form a sentence are getting all the work. Figures. Excuse my rant; it was a rough day.

  9. Bruce

    It’s not surprising that Taylor Swift likes sexual Napalm. She’s a player and always has been. Taylor has fooled parents and little kids alike since she was 15 years old that she was Tinkerbell. Wake up fools… she gets around … a lot.

  10. Bruce

    So she’s not really interested in getting heavily involved with anyone. Have you already forgotten her song lyrics on her latest Album? She likes Napalm and writing songs about her experiences on her mattress and notches on her bedpost. She’s so pathetic.

  11. sweetheart#14

    no affense to taylor, but put some clothes on. one time she was doing a performance at the country music awards, and she was wearing sweats, then all of a sudden two guys pop up from no were and wipped the sweats off of her she was then wearing a black dress, then water poured on her. and then after the performance she acted like she was triying to cover up so no one could see her. what a load of bull. she puts on this im so innocent act. its not working. i know i dont know her, and sorry if this i sounds harsh, but it would help her jm case if she wore decent cloths and didnt get them wet or have guys wip them off of her.

  12. sweetheart#14

    by the way if taylor wants to play the young innocent role she should lose the red lipstick, and ware lipgloss. more appropriate for her age. he doesnt act 19 so she shouldnt ware lipstick.

  13. sweetheart#14

    i feel kind of bad for writing that, im sorry.

  14. Jennifer

    I dont think she slept with him! Your taking only a few lines, look at the whole song

    “All the girls that you’ve run dry, have tired lifeless eyes
    Cause you burned them out, but I took your matches
    Before fire could catch me
    So don’t look now, I’m shining like fireworks
    Over your sad empty town”

    Took his matches before fire could catch me? It sounds like she’s saying ‘I got the hell out of a bad situation’

    Look at the big picture next time :) And don’t hate on Taylor!! At least she’s no Miley….

  15. Nunya

    Annoying.John Mayer is obviousely nasty and quite an asshole, but really Taylor? What did you expect? Don’t act like you haven’t how he is. Shit, guess I’ve been there. But I was 15 and the guy was my age, not like 10 years older than me. It’ll hurt for now but you’ll (hopefully) get over it… I guess have fun writing songs about him to move on!

  16. mary

    Oh gosh. I love Taylor so much. I’ll stand by her forever and if she really had sex with that Mayer, than it was just a stupid mistake… Everyone has to learn, good way or ‘Mayerish’ – bad way. Everybody knows, that Tay does write that kind of songs – about her life. So, If you dont like it, dont listen to it, or dont even write stupid horny obscene comments. You guys, who think that she is a whore or something like that, are RETARDS. And last thing – her fans obviously like her songs including ‘Dear John’ so SHUT THE F**K UP.

  17. Randommuffinlover

    WTF! She’s such a whore!

  18. Jess

    Wow i dont think she would do tht and plus i thought she is older than 19 and this could be just one of the low lifes tht just want money so taylor swift fans should not beleive this and this is comin from a 12 year old view

  19. mrdickhead

    Do you remember we were sittin’ there by the water,
    You stuck your dick in my butt for the first time,
    You made a buttfucker of a retarded man’s retarded daughter,
    Please stick your dick in my butt again baby

  20. person

    Obviously they DIDN’T have sex Taylor doesn’t do that

  21. momo

    John mayer is an asshole to me. T swift is beautiful and she should be treated that way.

  22. Batman

    Right, shut up , Taylor swift is amazing, dont like her, dont comment, dickheads.
    just cause you think shes immature, well look at all teenage girls, they’re all like that, they have really strong feelings, get upset easily, and if you hurt them, everyone will find out and hate you, thats just the way it works, dont like it fuck off then, your the ones being immature and childish.

  23. That Guy

    Mayer’s a creep and Taylor’s naive. End of story. This commentary should’ve never reached two pages.

  24. godfather

    x is good for health

  25. marie583

    heres the deal guys until there is absolute proof that she slept with this Mayer character i think we all should just leave her alone.

  26. Julia

    U guys calm down. Why don’t u stop and think about ure life and not think about hers. Its already happened and there is nothing u can do. At least she learned something. I think she is beautiful and that we all make mistakes. I bet she isnt telling people what happened because if she does you will all start blaming her and all this. So my word is JUST CALM DOWN AND LET IT BE.

  27. Jinny Lilly Adeline Villarreal

    I think whoever wrote this article is really stupid because how can u tell what she means when she says ‘dont u think nineteens too young to be played by your dark twisted games when I love u so’ cuz it can mean quite a few different things like what if she went to go see him and she found him cheating? idk but it doesn’t mean that they did it

  28. paul

    I think his father was a caveman and his mother had downs syndrome.

  29. lindsay

    Lol I love john mayer, and everyone knows he’s a douche bag, I think he even owns a shirt that says it! So what Taylor did u really think it was gonna end differently. Ur smart so dnt play dumb!

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  31. t neely

    will you guys watch your languages geez who cares what she did with him

  32. I tend to think these trysts are all arranged by the management of these stars. “OK the next thing we have planned is you pretend to fuck John Maher, write a song about it and then America will love you more while hating the half jew a hole that everybody already hates. Even so, his record sales will go up and even more whore stars will date him. It’s a win win. Now remember, we have to give you regular AIDs tests because he fucks everything, but it will be so worth it to us when the money rolls in for us and of course you darling. Ill make the call, everyone will be soooo happy Taylor.!!!”

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