To put this as politely as I can, Taylor Swift was kind of a huge cunt at the VMAs last night which started with her clearly mouthing the words “shut the fuck up” to Selena Gomez (below) while Harry Styles and One Direction presented the award for Best Pop Video, and then continued not even 20 minutes later when “I Knew You Were Trouble” won for Best Female Video and she said this onstage:
I also want to thank the person who inspired this song, who knows exactly who he is, because now I got one of these.
Just to put things in perspective, I’ve worn clothing without washing it longer than Taylor Swift and Harry Styles were dating, but you don’t see me going around acting like my goddamn jeans left me at the altar. I mean, they did, but then I did that thing where you realize you could be dead or horribly disfigured and went on with my life. What’s that called again? Oh, right, being an adult.
In fairness, I haven’t seen anyone consider the possibility that the words spoken immediately before this were, “Justin Bieber was inside me backstage,” but yeah, it’s probably the whole “Harry Styles is a fart-face” thing.