Jake Gyllenhaal Will Love This

April 5th, 2011 // 64 Comments

REESE: *walks up* Hi. I just wanted to say my daughter and I love your music.
TAYLOR: Oh my God, I love your movies. Thank you so much.
REESE: Please, it was my pleasure. *notices cameras*
TAYLOR: Wow, this got awkward, huh?
REESE: Pfft. Only if we let it. It’s all in the past, okay? Don’t you worry about nothin’.
TAYLOR: Yeah, you’re right. Hey, can I ask you something? Did he only want to stick-
REESE: Every single time.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Louwww

    Is Reese Witherspoon really that short, or did someone shoot her with a Snooki-Ray?

  2. why does taylor swift who’s already 5-11 insist on wearing 6″ fuck-me heels

  3. Jigga

    AHAHAHAHAHA

    Its funny because JG likes the butthole.

  4. My Name Peggy

    And then they sing Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond Of Each Other.

  5. Deacon Jones

    A SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET, SKEETSKEET SKEET SKEET!

  6. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    K Bell
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know whether to be scared that Taylor is freakishly tall or Reese is freakishly short.

  7. JC

    Reese: “I challenge you to a duel! Choose the weapons!”
    Taylor: “Your chin versus my elbows!”
    Reese: “You’re on, bitch!”

  8. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    Commented on this photo:

    Christ, that broad is huge. I knew she was a big girl, but damn.

  9. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    Christi
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how she’ll incorporate this into a song.

  10. Dancing

    Reese is 5′ 2″ and Taylor is 5′ 11″.

  11. Mandy

    Swift’s face looks drastically different than most other photos. She almost looks as old as Reese.

  12. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    attorneyg
    Commented on this photo:

    Attack of the 50 Foot Women, Part II

  13. It had to be said

    They fit oddly well together. See how Reese’s breast fits in Swift’s waist, and Swift’s breast sits on Reese’s head? I feel like we should explore this further.

  14. just

    Taylor looks terrible here. At one point she was almost incandescently beautiful. So much so that John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhall’s abrupt departure from her confused me. Then it occurred to me that she’s barely an adult, and she seems like the kinda chick who would balk at the notion of sucking a cock. Same goes for Reese for that matter.

  15. Josephus

    This is one of those times where I can’t think of anything snarky to say. I think Reese is gorgeous. And Tila Tequila looks better than usual, too.

  16. FruitLoop

    Really? Jake did both these chicks in the can? I thought most chicks hated that, let alone Hollywood starlets with money. huh….

  17. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    Commented on this photo:

    “Fi Fi Fo Fum…”

  18. RebelMinion

    Okay, new rule for Reese Witherspoon. Unless you want to look like an oompa loompa, never stand next to Taylor Swift again.

  19. Is it wrong that I just pictured these two in a lesbian movie, with Reese doing Taylor from behind with her chin?

  20. Ouddy

    REESE: *walks up* Hi. I just wanted to say my daughter and I love your music.
    TAYLOR: Oh my God, You are so short and old
    REESE: Can we take pictures together?
    TAYLOR: Are you sure?
    REESE: Let me see that photos… Please?
    TAYLOR: If they remake snowwhite you can be one of the dwarfs. I dont understand why people pay you millions to be in movies.
    REESE: (To Photogrpaher) Please dont share these photographs. I will pay you a lot of money for it if you agree.

    Taylor walked off all proud and feel disgusted with movie industry.
    Reese walked away feeling she make a mistake and realised she should only take picture with ugly fat fan boys.

  21. Tillman

    Judging by the look on her face, 10 bucks says Taylor’s next big hit will be called “Reese’s Pieces”…

  22. the one

    that CHIN of reese “with a spoon” doesn’t bother you?

  23. anonym

    damn. she looks huge.

    you don’t realize it until she stands next to a midget.

  24. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    kerri
    Commented on this photo:

    she is so pretty and anyone who says something about her chin is an idiot. she is gorgeous

  25. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    Uhm
    Commented on this photo:

    Taylor’s 5″11. Reese is barely 5 foot.

  26. Noel

    “TAYLOR: Yeah, you’re right. Hey, can I ask you something? Did he only want to stick-
    REESE: Every single time.”

    so funny i almost peed myself. mr. superficial dude…you’re a genius.

  27. I’ve decided that I would be OK with fucking either one of them.

  28. Flaming Hand

    It´s like something out of a magic RPG:

    “Young gyllegorn, free from the spell of witherstroll, sought true love
    in the embrace of Taylor-elf. Alas, twas not to be as T-elf is swift in
    matters of ye heart, and quickly sought to bond her tall legginess
    around our brave ranger all too soon…”

  29. The giant and the elf, Ryan really was into those fairytales.

  30. PP

    Julia Robert will never make this mistake by standing side by side with a younger more beautiful country music goddess.

  31. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    jc
    Commented on this photo:

    LEAVE TAYLOR ALONE

  32. HugePENIS

    Wow that tall bitch is so flat and plain!

  33. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    adam
    Commented on this photo:

    got damn thats a huge bitch

    she looks like lurch

    shit is that a man

  34. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    adam
    Commented on this photo:

    she has to have a dick no wonder no one stays with her after they discover that shit

  35. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    adam
    Commented on this photo:

    hmm taylor can be a mans name too i vote its a man

  36. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    adam
    Commented on this photo:

    this bitch makes the most stupid ass faces all the time wonder if she was hit in the head as a kid

  37. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    adam
    Commented on this photo:

    milf is saying damn is this a man or a tranny im confused as shit… also thinking i look fucking spectacular compared to harry and the henderson

  38. Reese Witherspoon Taylor Swift
    steve chavez
    Commented on this photo:

    defiantly a man

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