Taylor Swift Is Pregnant

October 22nd, 2013 // 22 Comments
Previously In Skarsgard
Alexander Skarsgard Cut Copy Free Your Mind
Sweet Messiah Pubic Bone, Anyone? Read More »

Before everyone accurately calls that headline flagrantly irresponsible click-bait, here’s Taylor Swift standing next to Alexander Skarsgard after having dinner with the cast of The Giver last night, so I think I’ve provided more than enough proof. A sonogram would’ve been less reliable. More importantly, now we know the name of Taylor’s next album which is “I Will Never, Ever Stop Squirting Out Babies.” Featuring the tracks:

Another One?! How Is That-
FOUR! F*cking Four?!
Why Does This Keep Happening To Me?!
You Give It A Name!
My Life Was Easier With That Gay Guy, What’s His Face? (Jake Gyllenhaal)

Available at Target.

Photos: Vantagenews/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. Also included:

    I Knew You Were Trouble

    I Am Never Ever Getting My Legs Back Together

    Gerber on My Guitar

    Stay Stay Stay at Four…Oh Goddammit Stay Stay Stay at Five

    Fifteen, Oh God No

    You’re Not Sorry But I Sure As Hell Am

    Eyes Open Legs Shut For The Next Half Century If Only They’ll Stop Coming Out

  2. ruckus

    “Kennedy could fit in here? Wild!”

    “Shut up and play with John Kerry!”

    “John Kerry?”

    “Flick the little man in the Swift Boat!!”

  3. BetterBelieveIt

    HOW?? Seeing that a man has never ever been in there!!

    • Are you new? Skarsgard gets women pregnant just by being near them.

      • And the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and…the occasional piece of Ikea furniture if he’s feeling particularly fertile. Neither man, woman, beast or inanimate object is safe from Skarsgård sperm. Just ask his step-brother Säter sofa.

  4. Alexander not Taylor, please. I know she’s pretty but no. :’(

  5. She’s way too insecure and immature to handle pregnancy.

    • Inner Retard

      Not to mention what the hormones would do to her already unbalaced psyche. I would not want to hear the songs of vengeance born during those dark times.

  6. Inner Retard

    For a second I really got scared. After all, do we really want the crazy genes of Taylor Swift to propagate? To save you the second to arrive at the answer: it’s No.

  7. Still not understanding what is so hot about this skarsgard dude. He looks like a cleaned up jeffrey fucking dahmer.

  8. Colin

    All I got out of this was, wait, they’re making a Giver movie? And someone hired Taylor Swift to act in it? She can’t even act surprised!

  9. Skaarsgard appears to be making love to his phone in this shot.

  10. JoeBB

    Even her 1950′s granny panties aren’t powerful enough to protect her from Skarsgard sperm.

  11. Bob

    Let’s not forget that Katie Holmes is also in this film. Judging by her absence in these photos we should assume she was in labor that night.

  12. Taylor Swift Alexander Skarsgard The Giver
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    There goes Taylor, off to write an opera at the very least. Leaving Alexander left to wonder who he really is if the mighty Mjolnir no longer has any power, due to the cursed Enchantress.

  13. Taylor Swift Alexander Skarsgard The Giver
    Commented on this photo:

    Juno might kill her.

  14. Taylor Swift Alexander Skarsgard The Giver
    DrD
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m no fan, but perhaps she’d make a good VS model? Great legs, that’s for sure.

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