It started with Lainey Gossip, and now People is reporting Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal are not only dating but were spotted together in New York City for the SNL cast party over the weekend. So since I want an exclusive, too, let me be the first to say these two are definitely going to get married, and here’s why: Taylor wanted to with John Mayer because let’s assume he said he would to get her pants off. While Jake wanted to with Reese Witherspoon because… he’s seen Kirsten Dunst naked? Truthfully, I don’t know how you explain something like that. I bit off more than I can chew here.
Photos: Splash News
First Beotches!!!
wow she looks really really stupid. She annoys the fuck outta me.
So Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhall … Could there be a more BORING couple???? Swift won’t have to worry about other women with Jake, but if I were her I wouldn’t let him on any Dude Ranches lest he go all brokeback.
There could be and has been a more boring couple: Jake and Reese.
I think these two take the cake for most boring couple. She has no personality and he’s … well … he has no personality either. Could you imagine phone sex between these two???? Fack if I ever needed to fall asleep I should get a tape of these two having phone relations….
I hear what you’re saying, but remember that Reese reportedly had a “swear jar” in her house and two boner killing brats running around. Dating Reese had to be like dating your friend’s unsexy, overprotective mom. I’ll agree it’s a close call, though.
two boner killing brats LOL !!!
penis
I think it’s actually weee weee!
I’m jealous of her. He’s gorgeous.
Will they be the next Hollywood power couplZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ……
I’d hit her, but I’ll be damned if she isn’t boring.
Oh I thought you meant you would fuck him not her. Now I am very sad…thanks for ruining my afternoon.
Great – she can’t sing and he can’t act.
(Isn’t he a Gay?!)
are either one of these people jewish?
Posts on every post – always with gay references.
You are SO gay.
You can come out here – it’s OK!
You hate the Jews don’t you Sarah?
I do and I hate you, pathetic fleshy faced invader.
You see? Doesn’t that feel better?
What does being a jew have to do with anything? Hetero, you bore me.
She’s so pale she’s translucent.
Musician/movie star hook-ups never last, their work schedules don’t mesh well. Jake will mud his turtle and then move on within a couple months.
This girl should be very careful; she’s is on the verge of becoming a star-fucking joke.
she is super cute. she better not wreck it. close those doors and stop writing about those d-bags!
She totally is haha
Well, not that she has learned to “play the game,” maybe she won’t cry foul, if he breaks up with her…
OR maybe she’ll turn the tables on him with her “new found skills.”
Referencing: http://www.thesuperficial.com/taylor-swift-wrote-a-song-about-john-mayer-10-2010
Swift trying to find her next catapult into popularity after they break up and she writes her next e-cry song about how he didn’t meet her needs. The John Mayer track was the only thing that made people realize she had a new album and was timed to go with her BS television miniseries “fearless”.
On her own she’d be dead in the water, so she needs to feed off crap like Kanye, the Nazi shirt dude, Mayer and others to stay culturally relevant.
So she’s his new beard? She’s becoming the go-to beard for in the closet actors!
I happen to know that she’s going to be in NYC tomorrow morning… I am going on a little vacation too. I won’t say that I’ll be in NYC, but if something horrible happens to her while on stage tomorrow morning, just know that I had nothing to do with it.
(read: i’m going to new york so i can shoot taylor swift in the face first thing in the morning)
Wow. Isn’t this asshole just laugh out loud funny?
And not because she’s dating Jake Gyllenhaal either… but because she’s a fucking cunt.
Actually I was wondering if reporting it to the NYPD might be a good idea… Doesn’t really read like a joke does it…
Fish, take the muslim cock out of your mouth for a minute and send his IP details to the NYPD.
Seriously?
By all means… send my IP.
she really digs that older man action. He’s 10 years older, and John Mayer was 14 years older.
Hmm… What is he 35 and tagging little miss 21-23?
Whatever snide crap anyone wants say, I say “Good Work Jake”….
Yes, yes… Great work on the sloppy…4ths?
Go head and hit that Jonas Brother/Twilight/Hemusthaveabigdick whore.
Taking bets on how long before a song is written/sang about him…
shes not 19 she 20 retard
she is 19
She going to be 21 soon i think. uh whatever! she looks and acts like a child.
and both of their publicists sigh with relief that neither client will drop into obscurity this week.
If this site had alike button i would have used it for this comment.
for someone who everybody claims is so innocent, she sure is hopping from cock to cock
Seriously!
OMG this girl has been ridden more times than Seattle Slew…….. And all this time i thought the mouse had the market for young teenage whores who want to be roll models wapped up!
First by the way….
What the fuck is Jake thinking?!? He can do WAY better than tats ugly, immature loser! Am I the only one who doesn’t see the appeal of Taylor Swift (both musically and physically)?
**that
noooooooooooooooo
I predict Jake pulls another hump and dump.
puke
She is learning how a woman gets ahead in the world. Good for her!!
I’d hit it
Ewww…
Give it two days before she’s seething like an angry grade-schooler in a song about how deeply she loved him for that five minutes they shared a fucking malted together.
LOL!
Guess he dumped that five-head Reese ?
I sense a Taylor Trainwreck brewing ..
Everybody is expecting Miley but my money is on TayTay.
OMG this girl has been ridden more times than Seattle Slew…….. And all this time i thought the mouse had the market for young teenage whores who want to be roll models wapped up!
Maybe this is what she does when she runs out of writing material.
Wow, she doesn’t waste any time does she?? She’s kind of looking like a little skank…
Jake Gyllenhaal is gay.
Taylor Swift “dated” gay boys for publicity.
Still don’t believe Jake will beard with her.
“for someone who everybody claims is so innocent, she sure is hopping from cock to cock”
LOL!
You can bet that Jake Gyllenhaal does NOT f*ck women.
Mayer, Jonas, Lautner, Gyllenhaal…I´m tempted to say she´s dating up, but I´m also tempted to say she´s quickly becoming Hollywood´s new Princess of Promiscuity: Former title holders include Madonna (now known as Zombie Queen Amorpha), Paris Hilton (demoted to Dark Lady of the Syphillis and Duchess of Ganja) and Lindsay Lohan (Countess Firecrotch)…
So, in all reality, Taylor Swift is a slut…Whoda Thunk it??
Yes it’s true,we’re looking for a virgin.
She might be still a virgin for 33%.
Virgo or virgin?
shes is so boring and bland as a white wall, and her music sucks hard
What would Jake Gyllenhaal see in a big boned, slightly homely country singer that can’t carry tune in a bucket? Nothing, I wager this is all the brainstorm dreamed up by the Swift publicity machine just to get her name out one more time and when, accidentally at her new album release date?
Let’s get this straight…Swift is not pretty and Swift can’t sing. She can however write songs about heartbroken teens which sappy teens hopelessly buy by the handfuls. Like Joe Jonas…like Taylor Lautner…like John Mayer…these are all probably on Swift’s wish list, but they never happened for real.
You know what’s funny to me is the irony. Her songs and image are portraying her as this sweet, innocent, near virginal girl. Meanwhile she gobbles cock like Oprah gobbles cheeseburgers hahahahahahaha. Yeeea, Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, and John Mayer dated Swift but didn’t fuck her. Suuuuuuuure. Why wouldn’t they date her? It’s not like they had millions of screaming girls and women who would jump their bones in an instant or anything hahahahahahahaha
Ahahahaha!
So, that’s a Squier guitar. It’s Fender’s line of instruments made in some foreign country (probably Zimbabwe) that are insanely cheap. So, either that guitar isn’t actually being heard by anyone and she’s a faker….or….it’s an old Squier which would sound pretty good.
And the mystery continues….in her vagina. SOLVE THIS ONE, MR. GYLLENHALLAKANOOKIS!
fuck, fuck, fuck…
Taylor Swift needs stop bed-hopping with the STD-ridden Hollweird nasty dark-haired jew boy A-holes who just want to bury it in another dumb blonde Shiksa. She needs to show some class and support her own heritage and ethnicity by moving back to the Heartland away from Hollyweird and forging relationships with the wholesome normal young guys who live there. If she doesn’t do this, she will quickly alienate her own fan base in the Heartland and she will be forgotten in a few short years.