Taylor Swift is Dating Jake Gyllenhaal Now. Of Course.

October 25th, 2010 // 74 Comments

It started with Lainey Gossip, and now People is reporting Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal are not only dating but were spotted together in New York City for the SNL cast party over the weekend. So since I want an exclusive, too, let me be the first to say these two are definitely going to get married, and here’s why: Taylor wanted to with John Mayer because let’s assume he said he would to get her pants off. While Jake wanted to with Reese Witherspoon because… he’s seen Kirsten Dunst naked? Truthfully, I don’t know how you explain something like that. I bit off more than I can chew here.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. So Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhall … Could there be a more BORING couple???? Swift won’t have to worry about other women with Jake, but if I were her I wouldn’t let him on any Dude Ranches lest he go all brokeback.

    • Beldar

      There could be and has been a more boring couple: Jake and Reese.

      • I think these two take the cake for most boring couple. She has no personality and he’s … well … he has no personality either. Could you imagine phone sex between these two???? Fack if I ever needed to fall asleep I should get a tape of these two having phone relations….

      • Beldar

        I hear what you’re saying, but remember that Reese reportedly had a “swear jar” in her house and two boner killing brats running around. Dating Reese had to be like dating your friend’s unsexy, overprotective mom. I’ll agree it’s a close call, though.

      • Ash Bones

        two boner killing brats LOL !!!

  2. weee

    penis

  3. Boo

    I’m jealous of her. He’s gorgeous.

  4. Hemingway

    Will they be the next Hollywood power couplZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ……

    I’d hit her, but I’ll be damned if she isn’t boring.

  5. The ONLY HETERO in this Joint

    Great – she can’t sing and he can’t act.

    (Isn’t he a Gay?!)

    are either one of these people jewish?

  6. Taylor Swift Performs on X-Factor
    Hemingway
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so pale she’s translucent.

  7. fester

    Musician/movie star hook-ups never last, their work schedules don’t mesh well. Jake will mud his turtle and then move on within a couple months.

  8. This girl should be very careful; she’s is on the verge of becoming a star-fucking joke.

  9. Facebook me

    Well, not that she has learned to “play the game,” maybe she won’t cry foul, if he breaks up with her…

    OR maybe she’ll turn the tables on him with her “new found skills.”

    Referencing: http://www.thesuperficial.com/taylor-swift-wrote-a-song-about-john-mayer-10-2010

  10. nooooooooo

    Swift trying to find her next catapult into popularity after they break up and she writes her next e-cry song about how he didn’t meet her needs. The John Mayer track was the only thing that made people realize she had a new album and was timed to go with her BS television miniseries “fearless”.

    On her own she’d be dead in the water, so she needs to feed off crap like Kanye, the Nazi shirt dude, Mayer and others to stay culturally relevant.

  11. Toothy Tile

    So she’s his new beard? She’s becoming the go-to beard for in the closet actors!

  12. ellkay

    I happen to know that she’s going to be in NYC tomorrow morning… I am going on a little vacation too. I won’t say that I’ll be in NYC, but if something horrible happens to her while on stage tomorrow morning, just know that I had nothing to do with it.

    (read: i’m going to new york so i can shoot taylor swift in the face first thing in the morning)

  13. dude

    she really digs that older man action. He’s 10 years older, and John Mayer was 14 years older.

  14. GravyLeg

    Hmm… What is he 35 and tagging little miss 21-23?

    Whatever snide crap anyone wants say, I say “Good Work Jake”….

  15. dude

    and both of their publicists sigh with relief that neither client will drop into obscurity this week.

  16. Randal(l)

    for someone who everybody claims is so innocent, she sure is hopping from cock to cock

  17. Taylor Swift Performs on X-Factor
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG this girl has been ridden more times than Seattle Slew…….. And all this time i thought the mouse had the market for young teenage whores who want to be roll models wapped up!

  18. Taylor Swift Performs on X-Factor
    Commented on this photo:

    First by the way….

  19. absinthe

    What the fuck is Jake thinking?!? He can do WAY better than tats ugly, immature loser! Am I the only one who doesn’t see the appeal of Taylor Swift (both musically and physically)?

  20. Jennny

    noooooooooooooooo

  21. Taylor Swift Performs on X-Factor
    jim x
    Commented on this photo:

    I predict Jake pulls another hump and dump.

  22. poopsmith

    puke

  23. clinchpoop

    She is learning how a woman gets ahead in the world. Good for her!!

  24. Ash Bones

    I’d hit it

  25. Drundel

    Ewww…

  26. Give it two days before she’s seething like an angry grade-schooler in a song about how deeply she loved him for that five minutes they shared a fucking malted together.

  27. Fubar

    Guess he dumped that five-head Reese ?

  28. See Alice

    I sense a Taylor Trainwreck brewing ..

  29. OMG this girl has been ridden more times than Seattle Slew…….. And all this time i thought the mouse had the market for young teenage whores who want to be roll models wapped up!

  30. ohlawd

    Maybe this is what she does when she runs out of writing material.

  31. Diana

    Wow, she doesn’t waste any time does she?? She’s kind of looking like a little skank…

  32. Lena

    Jake Gyllenhaal is gay.
    Taylor Swift “dated” gay boys for publicity.
    Still don’t believe Jake will beard with her.

  33. gay, gay, gay

    “for someone who everybody claims is so innocent, she sure is hopping from cock to cock”
    LOL!
    You can bet that Jake Gyllenhaal does NOT f*ck women.

  34. A. Hole

    Mayer, Jonas, Lautner, Gyllenhaal…I´m tempted to say she´s dating up, but I´m also tempted to say she´s quickly becoming Hollywood´s new Princess of Promiscuity: Former title holders include Madonna (now known as Zombie Queen Amorpha), Paris Hilton (demoted to Dark Lady of the Syphillis and Duchess of Ganja) and Lindsay Lohan (Countess Firecrotch)…

  35. Sean

    So, in all reality, Taylor Swift is a slut…Whoda Thunk it??

  36. Nero

    Yes it’s true,we’re looking for a virgin.

  37. shes is so boring and bland as a white wall, and her music sucks hard

  38. djrb345

    What would Jake Gyllenhaal see in a big boned, slightly homely country singer that can’t carry tune in a bucket? Nothing, I wager this is all the brainstorm dreamed up by the Swift publicity machine just to get her name out one more time and when, accidentally at her new album release date?
    Let’s get this straight…Swift is not pretty and Swift can’t sing. She can however write songs about heartbroken teens which sappy teens hopelessly buy by the handfuls. Like Joe Jonas…like Taylor Lautner…like John Mayer…these are all probably on Swift’s wish list, but they never happened for real.

  39. You know what’s funny to me is the irony. Her songs and image are portraying her as this sweet, innocent, near virginal girl. Meanwhile she gobbles cock like Oprah gobbles cheeseburgers hahahahahahaha. Yeeea, Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, and John Mayer dated Swift but didn’t fuck her. Suuuuuuuure. Why wouldn’t they date her? It’s not like they had millions of screaming girls and women who would jump their bones in an instant or anything hahahahahahahaha

  40. Keithypoo

    So, that’s a Squier guitar. It’s Fender’s line of instruments made in some foreign country (probably Zimbabwe) that are insanely cheap. So, either that guitar isn’t actually being heard by anyone and she’s a faker….or….it’s an old Squier which would sound pretty good.

    And the mystery continues….in her vagina. SOLVE THIS ONE, MR. GYLLENHALLAKANOOKIS!

  41. Mariah

    fuck, fuck, fuck…

  42. Normal Midwestern Guy

    Taylor Swift needs stop bed-hopping with the STD-ridden Hollweird nasty dark-haired jew boy A-holes who just want to bury it in another dumb blonde Shiksa. She needs to show some class and support her own heritage and ethnicity by moving back to the Heartland away from Hollyweird and forging relationships with the wholesome normal young guys who live there. If she doesn’t do this, she will quickly alienate her own fan base in the Heartland and she will be forgotten in a few short years.

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