Tom Hiddleston Has Felt The Pull Of The Leash
He gazed off into the distance contemplating his life and the last words she’d spoken to him, “Deadpool will wear capris if I tell Deadpool to wear fucking capris because Deadpool’s my bitch.” He promised himself this would be the last time she’d raise a hand to him, but he knew it wouldn’t. He knew it wouldn’t…
Within almost 24 hours of each other police have now murdered two black men in cold blood, but is Tom Hiddleston happy with all those photographs Taylor Swift meticulously curated for her GOOP-esque Fourth of July Party? That’s what’s really on America’s mind! (Kill me.) Page Six reports:
The snaps show the pair frolicking in the sea and on the beach. Our spy even noticed a camera-fatigued Hiddleston sneaking off for a beer with some guys.
“He seems to get tired of the endless Instagram photo ops after, like, the third hour in the water,” sniffed an insider.
Granted, Tom Hiddleston (theoretically) gets to have sex with Taylor Swift, but go ahead and try to look through these without wanting to burn down a Crate & Barrel. Now imagine yourself in them and, yup, that’s it. Reach for those matches. Fire cleanses all.