Please Stop Looking Hot, Taylor Swift, You’re A Terrible Person And A Cancer

September 10th, 2013 // 40 Comments
Language, Taylor Swift
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Taylor Swift is a petty and vindictive 23-year-old who young girls look up to as a role model, so naturally she teaches them to over-dramatize every interaction with men and stew in a jealous broth of hate for each and every break-up so they constantly act hysterically, if not bitchily at minimum. And yet her body is amazing and I just want to have lots and lots of sex with it until I’ve ignored her personality disorder for so long it’s now become a ticking time-bomb of emotion that will probably get a bunch of my shit broken, so clearly I have to vanish without a trace. Does that make a bad person? Because, in my defense, mysteries are romantic. “Oh, where could my boyfriend be? Time to sleuth!” I’m always hearing women say.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily

superficial

  1. Hopefully one of this thing’s exes will finally snap and peel off it’s skin with a knife.

  2. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, oh yes, Taylor, this is where we will place a Weinstein baby . .”
    “What?”

  3. Jay

    Fish? I don’t get it, Taylor is hot, why is it that these young girls don’t know how to be sultry/sexy? Is their some sort of class that Kate Beckinsale or my wife can teach to the young women of today? Don’t we have the technology with the internet these days?

    • You haven’t been paying attention. Her handlers had that whole southern teenager (which is bullshit) thing going for years. The hair, the dress, all of it.

      This is just a style change to actually being a…you know…adult. She was never some teenage hick singing about a lost boyfriend..she comes from a long line of high powered bankers, including her father. Montessori primary…private school finishing.

      If you don’t think this is the real look, you’re not paying attention.

  4. frankw

    Clearly, looking “hot” is a matter of opinion…

  5. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Taylor, your ex is here!”
    “Which one? Eddie? Patrick? Chord? Tim? Joe? Lucas? Taylor? Cory? John? Toby? Jake? Will? Conor? Harry? Bradley? Thomas? Matthew? Tim?. Oh whatever, tell him its his fault and he should apologize and then shutup and live in a cave somewhere.”

  6. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    chopsuey
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t stand this bitch, but I’d love to shoot a huge load right on her mouth, specially when she poses like this

  7. Inner Retard

    She’s about as voluptuous as a surfboard. A crazy, vindictive, pretentious surfboard.

  8. Beer for thought

    OK, usually you’re funny and I couldn’t give less of a fuck about Taylor Swift, but that title is a little harsh, are you on your period?
    How many artists have used past relationships as a means to write a song? Sure she comes off pretty redundant about it but that doesn’t make her “a terrible person and a cancer”. Easy there, did she date you and write a song about it?

  9. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    Commented on this photo:

    Just IMO she would be a horrible lay ,insecure person with not a great butt . But she is suuuuure is pretty with long legs and firm titties . “The Itty Bitty Titty Committee”

  10. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    Loaded and Locked
    Commented on this photo:

    Pow! Right in her cocksucker.

  11. All women are crazy, petty and vindictive to some degree, at least this one isn’t a butterfaced fatass. Show us the titties, Taylor, and we’ll shut up about all your faults.

  12. tom

    She’s pretty but she’s also very bland and boring. Give me Kate Winslet instead.

  13. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    richie
    Commented on this photo:

    very nice

  14. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    richie
    Commented on this photo:

    looks incredible here!

  15. BarGolfWill

    wait…Taylor Swift “…teaches (young girls) to over-dramatize every interaction with men and stew in a jealous broth of hate for each and every break-up so they constantly act hysterically, if not bitchily at minimum.”

    Thats cool…because last week I taught water to be wet.

  16. stinkfinger

    Just smoking hot. Don’t care about the rest. Anyone that says otherwise is full of shit.

  17. Bonky

    You know what’s weird ? This chick has had something like 50 boyfriends but has never once experienced “make-up” sex.

  18. Over broken glass. She looks goddamn amazing. She should model too.

  19. right

    “Just smoking hot. Don’t care about the rest. Anyone that says otherwise is full of shit.”

    Spoken like a 15yr old

  20. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come closer so I can fuck you…OVER!”

  21. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    Commented on this photo:

    The woman is an ego fly trap.

  22. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    Commented on this photo:

    “Excuse me, I lost my butt…Can you help me find it?”

  23. Her inside makes her ugly as fuck tho..

  24. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t give a fuck how hot she is. Her personality is a dealbreaker. Petty, vindictive prude.

  25. Mandy

    I don’t mind her, but it looks like she’s always pushing her hea forward or something. It’s odd.

  26. ace11

    Has she ever shown her birthday suit to any of these guys?

    Im sure Jake and John weren’t in this for cookies and wine

  27. Taylor Swift Tight Dress One Chance Premiere TIFF
    Commented on this photo:

    If I gave her just the Tip would she write a Song about it

  28. Commentor

    Because she doesn’t immediately lay down and screw her boyfriends so they dump her. That doesn’t make her evil and vindictive it makes her smart.

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