This Is How Taylor Swift Gets Ya

January 25th, 2013 // 39 Comments

Every once in a while Taylor Swift shows up to a red carpet event looking uncharacteristically hot to the point that you completely forget she’s a bear trap set to snare your leg into sexless evenings of watching Antiques Roadshow until you escape and she writes an entire album that makes you sound like a child molester. Which was all entirely pointless information for me to write because your penis is still going, “Hmm, I could make this work…” And that’s how you have a mommy and daddy who visibly hate each other. The End.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. FattyFatty2X4

    Her skeeter bites have turned into ant hills.
    You go girl!!

  2. Veronika Larsson

    Isn’t 23 years old a bit young to get this desperate?

    Well, I’ve heard that Jennifer Love Hewitt is keeping that guest room open for Taylor.

  3. You know, I totally would, except I’ve got great hearing and earplugs chafe me.

  4. Judas Iscariot

    Pfffft….

    I’ll take it.

  5. I really don’t understand why anone would stick his dick in this insipid hillbilly cunt.

  6. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress 40 Principales Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, that’s Harry Styles’ penis, but this picture really doesn’t do it justice…maybe if you turn it on its side—there you go.”

  7. Matt

    What’s with those ridiculous shoes?

  8. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress 40 Principales Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Reporter: “Who are you wearing, Taylor?”
    Taylor: “Siren of Penis”
    Reporter: “Siren…I’m sorry, what was that?”
    Taylor: “You wish to touch them, don’t you?”
    Reporter: “Well…I…yes…YES…more than anything!” (touches cleavage, balls fall off, record goes platinum)

  9. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress 40 Principales Awards
    SPIDEY
    Commented on this photo:

    bukake landing strip

  10. anonymous

    What’s this chick average twelve boyfriends/year? Nasty….even Paris wasn’t this bad on her prime whoring days.

    I know you have to fill a CD with songs but damn….

  11. Chinaman

    She who sing with banjo wake up with swamp breath

  12. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress 40 Principales Awards
    Tk
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s something about her face and hair that makes me want to punch her.

  13. Schmidtler

    So whatever this event was she appeared at, it’s sponsored by Premio’s and Ballantines? Cheap hoagies and malt liquor? Keep it classy, Taylor!

  14. Where's Dildo

    It’s Antiques… plural. Damn it…

  15. tom

    BO-RING

  16. Disco Dave

    I’m telling you guys, you’ve got this woman wrong.

    She’s the one that eats the souls. She’s the one in charge in the relationship and don’t you dare think about getting out of line.

    Guys don’t break up with her because she’s boring. They break up with her because she’s wearing the pants and she’ll beat you if you try to be assertive and then she’s going to humiliate you because America sees and adores the manufactured image.

    That look…is true female predator, wolf in sheep’s clothing.

  17. If only she’d do more pictures where she’s scowling over her shoulder.

    That would be unexpectedly fresh.

  18. mrsmass

    this is supposed to be hot? i’m confused.

  19. Mama Pinkus

    she is just plain creepy and every guy she dates figures that out very quickly

  20. I don’t give two shits about her personality. I don’t give a rat-fuck about her behavior. I don’t give a flying fuck at a rolling donut if she writes music or if it comes out in her bowel movements…

    She looks FUCKING great!

  21. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress 40 Principales Awards
    Boof
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t stand her music but I would probably eat her ass… well, I’d at least do her in the butt.

  22. tlmck

    Not hot and can’t sing a lick. Her typical fans are girls three times her weight, and nerdy guys who cannot even get girls three times her weight.

  23. ButtFace

    She doesn’t look very good without thick makeup. Most celebrities don’t.

  24. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress 40 Principales Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, she very pretty, but her personality is a serious turn-off. Stage five clinger. I wouldn’t touch her for all the money in her bank account. It’s only a matter of time before she goes outwardly batshit crazy.

  25. Burt

    She looks really plain without her painted face.

  26. Hey, guys, you get to actually spend a few weeks with her then watch while she makes another million dollars singing about you, while you go back to your job at the car wash. Worse deals have occurred. Apply at her web site taylorswift dot com, see the taylor connect link where you will sign away any and all rights in return for being seen with her.

  27. kery

    Too much make up. I’ve seen her pale face without it and she looks average ;P ah her music is irrelevant ;)

  28. Taylor Swift's Tampon String

    I would explore her anal cavity with my tongue after a steady diet of Taco Bell and three days of non showering.

  29. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress 40 Principales Awards
    Gavin Mendes
    Commented on this photo:

    With a string of failed relationships including John Mayer, Harry Styles, Jake Gyllenhaal, Conor Kennedy, Taylor Lautner and Joe Jonas – which she frequently uses to write new songs – Now the 23-year-old’s reputation as a serial dater has been solidified.
    She makes a mockery of songs with failed relationship. She is not worth for any relationship if she keeps making songs of her personal relationships. Cmon , I really don’t think the number of guys she’s dated is the problem. I think the problem is how she treats them when the relationship is over, and how she constantly tries to convince everyone that she’s the pure, innocent darling who could never do anything wrong.

  30. anonym

    not hating.

    I’d smash that and cum into it a few times.

  31. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress 40 Principales Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Hot!

Leave A Comment