This Is How Taylor Swift Gets Ya

Every once in a while Taylor Swift shows up to a red carpet event looking uncharacteristically hot to the point that you completely forget she’s a bear trap set to snare your leg into sexless evenings of watching Antiques Roadshow until you escape and she writes an entire album that makes you sound like a child molester. Which was all entirely pointless information for me to write because your penis is still going, “Hmm, I could make this work…” And that’s how you have a mommy and daddy who visibly hate each other. The End.

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