BREAKING: Taylor Swift Still Has A Prominent Camel Toe

Something happened with Iran and science just waved its dick at Pluto, but how is Taylor Swift’s camel toe doing? Is it still prominent? How are the contour ridges? If I whisper “marry me” into it three times, will a hymen made of space-age polymer emit a series of notes before disintegrating? These are the questions I’m not afraid to answer while the rest of the media distracts you with bobbles and trinkets that mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. Pluto really is a circle? WELL HOLY SHIT, WALTER CRONKITE.

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Tags: Taylor Swift