Taylor Momsen Has a Beer Gut

March 7th, 2011 // 123 Comments

Here’s Taylor Momsen performing in Philly over the weekend where she’s apparently upped her stage show to just a mesh shirt and a bra. Which would be kind of hot once you factor out all the going to jail and the beer pouch at 17. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying she’s fat because compared to most Americans, Taylor Momsen is a waif. But I’ve seen enough Freshman 15s to spot one a mile away. In fact, if you got me close enough, not only could I tell you which beer she’s been drinking, I’ll suddenly pretend I play the guitar and just want to watch a movie. Think of it as my gift, my curse…

Photos: Splash News


  1. idc what you all think, they don’t get any sexier than this chick. not hollywood skinny but sexy, great voice, and.. fucks for satan! my kinda girl

  2. rican

    It’s a semen gut, from Satan.

  3. Lola

    At least this young girl is talented

    • Jimbo

      Talented do what? BJ’s?

      • Jill

        Where are those ear plugs when you need them?

      • timmay

        SHE writes her own songs, she can PLAY musical instruments, she can SING without autotune,protooled crap ( like Kim Kardashian, barf) and she’s been an actress since a very young age so yeah Jumbobutt, she is TALENTED…..which many people may not recognize because they’re all strung-out on that “in da studio, sound da same” as every other so called “singer” (who CAN’T SING ).

    • keira

      talented for dressing high classy, ha….

      • Chloe

        ^^ For Timmay.
        I’m into rock and metal. Taylor Momsen is a horrible little whore who needs to put her tits away and stop trying to be talented.

  4. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Something tells me she got that gut by doing something that looks strikingly similar to what she’s doing now.

  5. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude in the background looks like he’s rocking. But on the inside, he’s dying. He’s dying.

  6. naano

    this bitch needs to turn 18 already so we can stop paying attention to her. then she’ll be forced to do something that’s actually entertaining and not IM EDGY UNDERAGED WHITE GIRL WITH PROBLEMS to garner attention.

  7. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    When your manager said, “Leave it all on the stage,” I’m pretty sure this isn’t what he meant.

  8. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oopsie! When did I become a parody of a whore?”

  9. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Commented on this photo:

    For her next trick, Taylor will take a dump and fling it at her 16 fans! Your move, Miley!

  10. Deacon Jones

    Uhhh…she was in Philly?

    I’m getting out of touch.

    Maybe she just ate at Geno’s. That would explain the “beer gut”, which is just barely there.

  11. Rancid

    You guys remember the fishnet torso getup of the original Predator? He also had a gut. More sexy, though.

  12. DKNY

    I’d hit it. Repeatedly.

  13. Da trooooof

    That’s what a beer gut looks like? Oh boy then basically this whole world has a beer gut…..

  14. MLVC

    i would like to get a whiff of her crapper

  15. BS headline, yet again

    How is *that* a beer gut?

  16. JC

    Learn your physics, people: You can use her belly just like a fulcrum and bang her like a seesaw.

    • Bucky Barnes

      I have a theory that the amount of fat in the universe is a constant, so if one person loses fat somebody else has to gain fat. It’s possible that Taylor got stuck with Gisele’s baby belly.

    • Richard McBeef

      I tried banging a seesaw once but I just got splinters in my dick and my testicles crushed when the board came down on them. Then I got arrested for lewd behavior in a children’s playground.

  17. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s still hot and f**kable.

  18. Cock Dr

    This skinny bleached giraffe is underage & thus certainly couldn’t have access to alcohol. It’s just NOT POSSIBLE.
    More likely she’s unbuttoned her pants to accomodate pre-menstrual bloating, and to get more of her photos posted on celebrity gossip websites.

    • Drew

      ahahaha, you’re right dude, it’s totally impossible for underage kids to get alcohol. Seriously Fish, reconsider your stance here, this guy says so.

  19. Pia

    I’m not even arguing that beer is responsible for her appearance, but since when is it “NOT POSSIBLE” for a 17 year old to get alcohol. You went to high school, right?

    • Cock Dr

      Learn to recognize sarcasm, because it’s a frequent feature on this site.

    • noooooooooo


      “You went to high school, right?”

      Exactly what went through my head reading that nonsense. I would have tried to correct the level of raccoon in the photos but unfortunately her face crashes Photoshop every single time.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Wow, a master of the completely obvious is amongst us! Too bad, she missed the obvious sarcasm in Cock Dr’s post!

  20. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Commented on this photo:

    She is waifish, she’s just got a weirdly shaped body. You can clearly see that she has minimal body fat in the full body shots and looking at her arms, her stomach is just distended and/ or unfortunately shaped.

  21. Tony Y

    Moire pattern from the shirt. Case solved.

  22. Nate

    I’m sure it’s more of a junk-food belly. Still fucking hot though!

  23. Tits

    I saw the picture before I read the headline, and I seriously thought it was Christina Aguilera…

  24. Vandal

    I want her to shit on my chest.

  25. Star Droppings

    At least the freshman fifteen comes with one year of college education.

  26. Lady Blah Blah

    The week was starting out pretty bad here with Lohan and that beat manfaced supermodel, but Momsen makes up for it. I still would like to see headlines here like Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin Dead in Suicide Pact, Sam Ronson Admits To Never Washing Her Taint, and Susan Boyle Loses Virginity To Simon.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Dream Big, Lady BB, cause dreams are all you are going to get…Fish is too busy writing shit about Charlie Sheen to post any of those, even if they actually happened.

  27. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    S J West
    Commented on this photo:

    Its just the mesh! It makes it all look weird and bulgey. She’s one hot 17 yr girl

  28. Tim

    When you read all the “you call THAT fat???” comments, you understand why women’s clothing manufacturers have re-sized several times over the years. Now “fat” is reserved for morbidly obese people.

  29. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Commented on this photo:

    You know when you look at the whole picture she just screams Hot Topic mall goth.

  30. There are so many wrongs with this picture I don’t even know where to begin. I’ll just close my eyes and keep picturing Cindy Lou Who

  31. Deandra


  32. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Ron Mexico
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that James from Metallica?

  33. …the ever desperate to be edgy Momsen replied to comments about her beer gut saying: “…that’s not from beer…uh, it’s from sperm. yeah, i got a sperm gut from blow jobing lots of guys. Older guys…yeah, a lot of blow jobing penis’s until they spermed, because I’m hard core”

    • The Critical Crassness

      Seriously, McFeely, you got to quit getting inside her head like that…it’s probably giving her a headache.Besides which, it is really creepy when you talk in her voice, all smoky and thick with ingested sperm!

  34. keijo

    So do I, so what’s the big deal?

  35. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Commented on this photo:

    And now, my Ping Pong Ball trick!

  36. Yarrr, tis a manatee caught in me fishing nets!

  37. The Critical Crassness

    Frankly, I’d rather fuck Miley Cyrus’s ugly older half -sister than take a chance on getting within fucking distance of this little skank! Even her picture, stenches up the room!

  38. Jack

    Beer gut? Looks more like six pack abs from where i’m sitting…

    • c

      if those look like six pack abs to you, you might want to get your eyes (and your mental health) checked.

      • Burt

        Hey, in the US those are six-pack abs.

        She looks better with the few extra pounds. Too bad it does nothing for her music.

  39. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    “Around in here is where it itches.”

  40. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m never getting one of those ‘abortions’ again.”

  41. grobpilot

    We all know there’s any number of celeb and non-celeb guys tapping her tail. But, can you imagine the cyclone of sex that will hit the media once this twat rings in her eighteenth year and she’s suddenly legal?

  42. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    And, apparently her vagina is her “off” button.

  43. testington

    I don’t think that is a beer gut at all, I think it is just the position she is in and the mesh shirt. Look at pic 5, clearly a toned stomach

  44. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry I ain’t seein anything here but a 17yr old I”d bareback nightly.

  45. Aja

    She’s actually really talented and has a great voice

  46. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    I weight 105 pounds and my stomach still looks like this. It’s just the shape of her muscles.

  47. That is not a beer gut, Taylor is all class. It’s a fart.

  48. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what? GOOD FOR HER! She’s clearly passionate about her msic and her voice is decent. You can tell this is really something that means a lot to her; it’s not just about the money.

  49. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    I love those pants!!!

  50. Taylor Momsen Philly Beer Belly Gut
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s such a poseur, it’s more likely a Mocha Frappuccino belly.

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