So Taylor Momsen’s Naked In This Video

October 14th, 2012 // 57 Comments
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Here’s raccoon exhibitionist Taylor Momsen reciting the lyrics from The Pretty Reckless song “Under The Water” while completely naked which I highly recommend watching if your idea of a sexy time is sitting through an amateur poetry slam about rape and/or Dina Lohan (I go back and forth.) just to see what it would look like if Christian Bale‘s character from The Machinist had breasts. On that note, any erections will be considered pre-crime evidence for the future serial murder of eighteen families in suburban Ohio. The pre-cogs are never wrong. *watches ball with own name on it pop up* And by never I mean all the time because they’re crack babies. That’s in the movie.


  1. Rachel

    It’s not supposed to be sexy, pervert. It’s art!

  2. Marilyn Manson has never looked better.

  3. Martina

    Taylor is to “art” as Lady Gaga is to sirloin steak, or Madonna is to aging gracefully.

  4. Pantron

    that’s one fucked up looking body.

  5. Mxyzptlk

    Mama Mia. Let. Me. Go.
    But seriously, like dolphins and unicorns can’t compare to the Leprechaun awkwardness of this video.

  6. t6

    eat a freaking burger

  7. gangrel76547

    Somebody give that girl a sandwich. She needs to eat.

  8. Reality

    Sweetie, wash your face and go back to school.

  9. JaegerMonster

    Uh, yeah…visions of Aphenx Twin’s “Come to Daddy” video abound.

  10. oohlilit

    Christina Aguilera looks thinner in this new “Beautiful” video.

  11. contusion

    well, I’m naked right now too, but you’re seeing about as much of me as you do Taylor in this dumb video. I recommend turning off the volume. And the video.

    • karlito

      if you can’t see the nipples and you can’t see the bush (camel toe if she shaves) then she is NOT naked. naked implies that the “private” and provocative parts of the human body are exposed for others to see. covering or visually distorting the “private” parts only implies that she is naked. she could have nipple guauds or a naked body suit on. just saying IMAO

  12. That final shot indicates she’s got a rockin little body..just wonder why she’s trying to channel Washngton Naitonals Outfielder Bryce Harper with all the eye black, or whatever that is…

  13. tlmck

    What will those marketing people think of next? $100 says it won’t involve recording a hit song.

  14. Man, this is edg….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……yawn………….sigh……………….oh, sorry. This is edgy.

  15. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    Lady Gaga doing the same in 3… 2… 1…

  16. Motorboat Captain

    Excuse me miss, would you mind keeping it down? Some of us are trying to masturbate to Kate Upton.

  17. Someone needs to tell her “mother” that this is the LAST step in whoring out your progeny.*

    * short of course of going full Kardashian and having a D-list R&B entity treat her like a gas station restroom.

  18. Some people are born as ridiculous cliches. Others work hard to become laughable stereotypes. Yet somehow, at such an early age, this kid has achieved both.

  19. so what

    Wow. I would much rather watch anything else.

  20. Take that Old Spice commercial!! Obsession ROOOLZ!!!!

  21. PoisonIvyLeague

    I bet if anyone tells her they like the video she’d be like all like “UUuuugggghhhh. You don’t UNDERSTAND me!”.

  22. Spot-on with the “Christian-Bale-in-The-Machinist-with-tits” comparison, Fish. It sounds like I made the right choice in watching this on mute and in fast-forward.

  23. JC

    This is the same caliber of literature as Jewel’s book of poetry. It’s so cute when pop stars think their lyrics are deep and meaningful.

  24. Deacon Jones

    This reminds me of that gem of a poem Leelee Sobieski read after 9/11. Ah, teenage girls, they’re so funny.

    One day.
    More than another.
    The other,
    that day,
    those people,
    too many,
    too personal,
    but not.
    People you know know,
    but you yourself know not.
    Crashing down,
    all frown,
    silently screaming,
    slowly running,
    often feeling nothing.
    Seeing the lucky ones fleeing,
    seeing those trapped inside.

  25. Gary Grant

    She’s legal so I can say this:

    I’d hit that.

  26. This guy

    Gorgeous girl. Weird, but gorgeous.

  27. Doctor_joystick

    I was sorta expecting Shia LaBeouf’s penis to make a cameo appearance.

  28. Dick Hell

    Ha, nice try! As IF you could trick me into watching a Taylor Momsen video.

  29. Space Jesus

    Absolutely NO CHANCE I am clicking play.
    I would rather watch Octomom and Kate Gosselin in a lesbo bestiality scene than see this waste of space.

    • Matt Lauer

      I fucking HATE softcore.

    • That’s just ridiculous…1000 Taylor Momsens riding 1000 Khloe Kardashians flanked by two legions of Paris Hiltons with a baggage train of 7000 mixed Avril Levignes, Snookis, and Tila Tequilas would be better than the Octomom.

  30. Jeno

    Gross, eat a sandwich.

  31. Emma Waton's Vagina

    nice body. poetry sucks. wish she would poetry me dry.

  32. yawn

    i hate it when women suck in their guts like that… skinny trying to be skinnier.. sick society.

  33. anonym

    give this bitch a burger. She looks like a white Somalian.

    and where’s the photoshop unblur filter……..

  34. Illegality would have been the only quality that made this video good. And that ship has sailed. A young slut cannot step into the same river twice.

  35. Cock Dr

    This gal needs several good meals and a makeover. Time to ditch that raccoon eye makeup.

  36. boozybeezy

    why do her limbs look disfigured?

  37. Bionic_Crouton

    Thank goodness I am pass the days of pretending to listen to some self absorbed art chick’s poetry just to get her naked.

  38. asdfjkl;

    deserves a swift kick in the vag.

  39. Call me when she has the balls to actually get naked without a blur filter or pasties. I give cockteases no quarter.

  40. fur burger

    Why has no one fed this poor panda?

  41. Anonymouse

    This pseudo-intellectualIy, cliche-ridden tripe is painful to listen to. I’m actually embarrassed for her.
    As for her body…well, she’s standing almost completely still, which makes easy work for programs like adobe after-effects. If snowflakes on tumblr can do it, professional video producers would have no trouble.
    Considering her previously boxy frame, I’d be very surprised if there wasn’t more going on in post-production than just blurring.
    Anyhow…*facepalm* on rhyming “sea” with “see”…Urrrrgh! Awful! How did they let her record this?

  42. duder

    She could give Jewel’s poetry a run for its money.

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