Taylor Lautner Cried Watching ‘Breaking Dawn’ – Starring Taylor Lautner

September 20th, 2011 // 54 Comments

I don’t know if there’s a rule against actors saying they cried watching their own movies, but here’s Taylor Lautner saying exactly that about Breaking Dawn, the last Twilight book broken into two movies purely to preserve the deep, complex story about a chaste vampire marrying a teenage girl with no personality and putting a baby in her because that’s only the way a woman can find true happiness. Right, Book of Mormon? And you thought it was one last blatant cash grab. Ha! So naive. Via Popsugar:

PopSugar: I know you said you had the chance to see Breaking Dawn a couple of times and you promised that it’s going to make fans cry. Does that mean you teared up a little bit?
Taylor Lautner: Oh yes! Yeah, of course. It’s an emotional one.

So Taylor Lautner did one of two things here: He either A. lied out his ass, or B. really did cry, and now Tom Cruise knows he’s not alone anymore.

TOM: *turns off TV, sniffs* God, their love is just so real…
KATIE: *sniff* I know.
TOM: What did I say? No crying or you’ll smear the sparkle paint. Now carry me to bed, Robert Pattinson.
KATIE: I’m sorry, Tom.
TOM: *raises hand*
KATIE: Bella! I’m sorry, Bella!
TOM: That’s better. Now pretend this lamp is my dad the sheriff, and he doesn’t want us to be together. But use real acting, not that other stuff you used to do.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. V

    Finally a Hollywood teen that doesn’t dress like a fucking retarded douchebag.

  2. Dan

    “putting a baby in her because that’s only the way a woman can find true happiness”

    No, that is the way a woman traps a man so he will have to pay for her shit for the next 20 years.

    The Venus Penis Trap is a most dangerous creature.

    • V

      do you live in 1950? women make their own money now.

      • bingledings

        Haha! Good joke V.

      • V

        face it darling – soon enough you men will be obsolete.

      • degenerate

        Keep ‘em coming V!!! You’re fucking hilarious.

      • Richard McBeef

        I don’t even very many women that have real friends. It’s all just catty bullshit and manufactured drama. Good luck with your woman only society.

      • Venom

        If women make their own money, why are they still in the courts everyday trying to take men’s money, houses, cars etc, get alimony and child support?

        Women only society? Yeah right. As Richard said women hate other women. It would be probably about 5 days before you all got pissed at each other and nuked each other to oblivion.

      • freaky

        Don’t you have some sammiches you need to be making?

      • Artofwar

        ….Small, yet huge oversight with that women only society—men have, and men will always be able to just take what they want, regardless of what women want or may not want. Sorry, but the truth is— the laws of nature trumps any laws of mankind….Artofwar

      • PFKZONI

        Dan–babies are the way men have trapped women for millennia by using the woman’s children (usually the god-forsaken offspring of a 10 year old clitorisless child and her hairy 50 year old grandpa courtesy of her daddy wanting to keep it all in the family while getting himself a sheep) as pawns to control her in a “marriage” she never wanted to begin with. It is only in the last decade or so that men have had to pay for THEIR shit, both where they put it and what comes out 9 months later, and only for half of it. Too bad, so sad.

        Richard McBeef–I doubt you know very many women period (if you know what I mean), but I can assure you, the ones that you have chosen to know are a reflection of you, not me.

        Venom–if the money, house, and cars are acquired during the marriage then those things are the property of BOTH spouses. They are not his. Alimony is a thing of the past in most states and as for having to PARTLY financially support your own brats, I believe that should be entirely up to you. If you want them to starve to death then that should be your call. I just don’t want to end up being the one who supports them with my hard earned money while you’re out busy being “trapped” by another female with no self-esteem and no clue what an orgasm is. Btw, at least half of fathers pay no support at all. Personally I think their useless asses should be eliminated as the wastes of oxygen they are.

        Artofwar–yes, and there is a name for that. Parasite. Take a look at the next nature show that comes your way and maybe you can figure out why it is only the human species that has fucked up its own evolution so badly, along with every other living creature’s. Thanks guys for not knowing your place.

      • PFKZONI

        Oh, and btw McBeef, I come to this site because once in a blue moon a link to an item here actually interests me. But sometimes I come just because I want to read “Fish’s” often hilarious commentary about something I wouldn’t normally care about. I also read the comments, some of which are funny but most of which are the cattiest crap I’ve ever seen, and most of which are posted by men. Anonymously of course. You, my friend, are the cattiest drama queen on here, particularly toward the female subjects. It seems that men, being the narcissists they are, do a lot of projecting of their character flaws, a lot of shifting blame and responsibility, and a lot of victim method acting. Could it be that men are the catty ones and female cattiness is just a social construct? Well anyway, China and India are already well on their way to becoming male only societies. Let’s see how they do. I think they’re the ones who are going to be needing that luck.

    • Satan's bitch

      So what I’m getting from this conversation here is that men never want children, just sex – and even that is a female-produced trap. So guys want sex all the time because women have been brainwashing men all these years and not because men think with their penises at least 50% of the time.

      Well, boys, you know the cure! No more sex. Let’s see how that pans out… Aaaaaaaaand GO!

    • me

      1-800-CHOKE-DAT-HO !!!!!!!

  3. sc4play

    One word……PUUUSSSSS—-EEEEE……or does that count as two?

  4. Pippy Longcockings

    This is what a ferret would look like if you dressed it up in an expensive suit.

  5. ...just nick...

    Looks happy why?

  6. Anon

    He looks like he could looks like he sucks a mean dick. Probably give Lindsey Lohan a run for her money in the blowjob and anal department.

  7. Lolly Pop

    Is his head too big, or his body too small?

    There’s something wrong with Shark Boy.

  8. Clarence Beeks

    I think it is hilarious that they gave this guy a starring role. He will NOT be able to carry a movie. What a joke!

    • Cock Dr

      I agree, but he is a sweet little himbo. I hate to think of the dreadful things the industry will do to him before he’s spit out used & broken.
      Maybe there will be a sex tape and/or happy snaps before it’s all over, but they probably won’t be heterosexual in nature.

  9. Frank Burns

    This is the gay kid who turns into a werewolf in those movies, right?

  10. freaky

    Fish – the way you made up that dialogue almost made it seem as if you’ve actually watched Twilight movies… I mean, a really cynical man wouldn’t even know the characters’ names but you, my friend, may almost qualify as some sort of expert on this franchise.

    • C’mon, Fish has to stay current to mock it (and that was very well done, Fish!). It’s a dirty, boring, thankless job, but somebody has to do it.

      “Twilight’s like soccer. They run around for two hours, nobody scores and its billion fans insist you just don’t understand.”

      • Cock Dr

        When I sometimes think of our poor blogger, watching all those crap cable shows just for us, putting himself through those TV & movie ordeals just so we can get some snark out, it kinda chokes me up.

    • Then again, Alexander Skarsgard blows his nose or adjusts his crotch or some other damn thing, and that makes it all better! Uh, I mean “worthwhile”! Yeah, that’s what I meant.

  11. Carolyn

    Creepy looking. He is dressed decently though.

  12. me

    I think he’s SUPER HOT, then again…. I was in love with Ricky Martin before he was gay. lol

  13. Do Freebird

    three words “gay serial murderer.”

  14. He cried because he finally realized that no shampoo is going to wash all the gay out.

  15. Donald Trump

    This is one very hot man. If man-on-man love is wrong….I don’t wanna be right!

  16. Alpa Chino

    That kid is gayer than AIDS. The preview for his movie is hilarious. He’s like Jason Bourne with Richard Simmons’ voice. “Not if I find you first, honey!” (3 snaps in Z formation). Ugh.

  17. cc

    Kraftwerk sucks even more with him in it.

  18. Mah Nikka

    I HATE HIS SQUINTINESS

  19. Bob

    I think he looks very odd.
    (this from someone who thinks Heidi Montag is a hottie…)

  20. Alicia

    @Dan Venus Penis Trap, lol that’s a good one. I’ll have to remember that.

  21. CranAppleSnapple

    Tears of embarrassment.

  22. Chauncy

    “I’m Glowing…”

  23. forrest gump

    ………..you need to URINE now?

  24. You can’t blame the kid. Sitting in the darkness, looking at that shit, and suddenly realizing this is your one claim to fame? Shit I would cry too.

    • EMINEM21314

      Totally agree!!! the man is crying .. .he is definitely gay which is OK but to be fan britney spears it seems to me an abomination :) :)) :))

  25. Charlie R.

    “I’ll never get a decent role after this.” — what he was thinking while crying.

  26. Tootles

    I hate this little eyebrow plucked bitch. Between him and that little rat bieber all the men in hollywood are homos.

  27. Taylor Lautner Abduction Premiere
    UncleDenial
    Commented on this photo:

    So he actually has emotions. He just can’t emote. Good career choice.

  28. Taylor Lautner Abduction Premiere
    Forrest Gump
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this a caricature?

  29. wtf

    I just can’t get beyond his uncanny resemblance to an alpaca.

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