Just Kidding, Tati Neves Is A Hooker

November 8th, 2013 // 25 Comments
Away In A Manger
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Yesterday, the Internet was rocked by a video of Justin Bieber sleeping which his people swore up and down was not taken by a prostitute while conveniently leaving out the fact everyone thought that because earlier in the week Justin Bieber was in an entire building filled with them. Except it turns out that Tati Neves, the model who made the video, is – Surprise! – also a hooker, according to Gawker. Apparently, she advertised her services in a nude magazine called Private which you can see extremely NSFW scans of on Egotastic if you’re in the mood to give a Brazilian model/prostitute a pap smear with your eyes. HPV is serious business, so I’m not about to judge you if you do. These are perilous times.

Photos: Facebook, Estilo Pin-Up

superficial

  1. cc

    Judging by her gallery yesterday, I am astonished to discover she’s a hooker. I was thinking maybe pastry chef or barista or something. But not a hooker.

  2. Deacon Jones

    Maybe she should use some of that money she makes to shave off some of that chin and schnauz..

  3. stevebrt

    So (s)he’s post-op then,
    didn’t see that coming

  4. harriscandit

    It does not take away from the fact she is damn hot.

  5. ruckus

    “I have a car painted like a leopard, you know.”

    “My mother was eaten by a leopard! We have so much in common! That’ll be $1,000 please”

    “TWIIIIIIIIIIIST!! Can you come in here and bring my Ninja Turtles wallet?”

  6. Tati Neves Justin Bieber Girl Bikini Model
    kravmaguffin
    Commented on this photo:

    What kind of a sick world do we live in where hookers in Brazil look like that and hookers in the US look like the love child of Keith Richards and Louie Anderson?

  7. Might be better to say. “if you’re in the mood to give a Brazilian model/prostitute a colposcopy.”

    Pap smears are also done with the eyes. While there is of course the swabbing and whatnot, the actual pap smear is read by a pathologist looking under a microscope. In a related story: During medical school, I was reviewing some pap smears and we found some strange looking cells under the microscope. Great big rectangle looking things…. turns out it was plant matter.* Pretty sure the patient was going to town on a cucumber like 2 hours before her pelvic exams.

    *true story

    • cc

      One of my physician friends removed an entire corncob from a guy’s ass.

    • P.T.S. Potential Trouble Source

      I believe it

    • Cock Dr

      Even if that story isn’t true I still collapsed with laughter.

    • Dox

      So… I worked as a Medic for a decade in Las Vegas. During that time, we got a call that was very vague on information. Apparently during the course of some very hot sex, the wife had the inspired idea of inserting her child’s lightsaber into the rectum of her husband. (collapsible kind… and no it wasn’t the hilt.).

      Little known fact. While having sex, the anus can and will spasm and gain a death grip on anything inserted into it. And unfortunately, it will generally not let it go. Finding a way to transport that patient out of his house while maintaining some semblance of dignity was without a doubt the most challenging day of my career.

      On a side note, I found it interesting that the doctor said to treat it like an impaled wound. Which meant I was forced to stabilized the object.

      I really didn’t get paid enough money.

  8. Potential Trouble Source

    Beiber would rather bang this than Selena Gomez? Dumb, Dumb, Dumb

  9. I thought for sure her schlong would be twice the size of Mr. Maple Syrup. But, maybe it was before the operation.

  10. FukBiebs

    If you’re gonna do it yourself, go to Home Depot, If he wants to learn how to do it, hire a pro.

  11. If anybody actually thought she wasn’t a prostitute or at least a nude model, I’ve got some nice oceanfront property in Kansas to sell you.

  12. DD

    Post Op with a Homer Simpson…nice

  13. Did she take those nude pictures on the set of facialabuse.com?

  14. gigi

    still looks like the maid…..

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