Tara Reid’s bikini almost fits

April 2nd, 2007 // 92 Comments
tara-reid-bikini.jpg

Tara Reid was spotted in Acapulco over the weekend putting her bikini top to the test. She and Courtney Love should have some sort of contest to determine once and for all who has the most disgusting body on the planet. Tara Reid’s looks like something a blind person would sculpt out of clay if they had never seen what an actual body looks like. And instead of using hands they had to use their feet.

Source

superficial

  1. Paris’ rack looks healthier.

  2. daηielle™↵

    Neo is a dick.

    Ahhhh.

    Moving on.

    Note to Tara Reid:

    Plastic Surgery is a bitch.

  3. chiapet

    i’ve eaten porridge with a finer texture than that stomache

  4. BarbadoSlim

    This requires a new word *drumroll*

    she looks: crapshitsticular

    carry on.

  5. daηielle™↵

    @4.

    Somehow compating her tummy to porridge makes me sick to my stomach.

    I’ll never look at Cream of Wheat the same way again.

  6. Binky

    It looks like she ‘Jimmyed’ a bit too much.

  7. daηielle™↵

    “comparing”

  8. Lettusaurus

    9th!

  9. neo

    Those look almost as delicious as Paris’.

    I bet if I bit into one, it would taste like a Silicone Smoothie.

    Yummers!

  10. xXrebeccaXx

    How could she possibly look in the changing room mirror and say “this bikini looks great on me!!” ?????????????

  11. sweetsassymoleassy

    “…putting her bikini top to the test”

    What about the bottom half? Is it me or is there a snatch gremlin peeking out of the side?

  12. Mylene

    that is hideous, i feel sorry for her, to have actually paid to be maimed, that has to be harsh to wake up to every morning

  13. veggi

    @11. I was just about to say the same thing. Who let her buy that? Can’t she see it doesn’t fit? I knew she had a pinch of tard in her, but it looks more like a dash.

    HELLarious!

  14. NicotineEyePatch

    How did she manage to find the perfect size bikini top to make her tits look their absolute worst? No mirrors at the gas station mini-Wal-Mart?

  15. shanonorato

    I bet she farts.

  16. NicotineEyePatch

    11 & 14, really, what is up with that? Doesn’t she have any friends? Can’t she just check her reflection in a puddle somewhere? Anything?

  17. Jimbo

    Wooo Hoo more fake boobies. Is that Paris’s bikini top?

  18. Man, she used to be cute. Courtney, not so much.

  19. It’s a toss up between her and courtney love.

  20. Jimbo

    Check out Tara and Courtney’s stomach? They must have gone to the same plastic surgeon!! They are both fucked up!!!!

  21. MrSemprini

    She should hire a body double to do all of her outdoor appearances. That way, she can stay inside and get fat without fear. No one really knows who she is, anyway.

  22. BarbadoSlim

    I’m wondering where the hell she’s getting money, for like, anything. She doesn’t work!!!!

  23. LadyJane

    Sweet Baby Jeesus. That just isn’t right.

  24. LadyJane

    Ha, Slim, thought the same thing….

  25. Hemlock Queen

    What’s wrong with these chicks? Don’t they know they make babies cry every time they expose themselves to the world? barf! barrrrff!

  26. veggi

    Slim, obviously, she doesn’t have any money. She could only afford half the top.

  27. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    21, my thoughts exactly! And LOL@Cream of Wheat stomach! :-))

  28. Cardinal Ximenez

    I think she’s just retaining jizz.

  29. jaffo

    Will someone please offer danielle a job?

  30. neo

    @30. Why? Are you hiring? Do you offer more than my current earnings of 11.50/hr?

  31. KatieKates

    Wow. This bitch makes Courtney Love look sex-ay. And that is just a scary thought.

  32. veggi

    I keep scrolling up again and again and it makes me more sad everytime. I just want to push them in there. Just stuff them down a little. WHY Tara, WHY!

  33. woodhorse

    #14 Burn in Hell you unethical salespeople!! That top is cutting her right across her nipples but while she is too drugged up to feel it, it is US who have to pay the price later when FISH runs a picture of “what in the hell happened to Tara’s nipples” – Bastards.

  34. veggi

    Not even skinny mirrors could have made her think that looked good.

  35. new neo

    Talk about ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag…

    #31, if you’re gonna troll, at least try for some funny. So far you’re just pathetic.

  36. Hemlock Queen

    4 tits on one chest is not hot.

  37. veggi

    anybody seen Blades of Glory? John and Will looked a hell of a lot better in their spandex outfits than Tara, pretty much ever. Poor girl.

  38. shmoody

    I personally think that her tits actually fell off that morning and the “bikini top” is actually her jury rigged method of holding them on her body until she can get back to the blind plastic surgeon she uses.

  39. jaffo

    Tara Reid broke into my house, ate all of my cheese and then clogged my toilet with some sort of horrific man-dump…

  40. neo

    #40 That was danielle.

  41. jaffo

    BA-ZING!!!!

  42. veggi

    40, 40. YAY!

  43. woodhorse

    laughing all day

  44. DumBlonde

    Wow, I’ve never seen cellulite on a stomach before… Courtney and Tara are defying the laws of nature! Ick.

  45. why couldn’t she just wear a mini dress and let her nipple slip? even THAT would have been more entertaining than watching her stomach slowly turn into a vagina…or is it an ass already?

  46. Shanipie

    Tara is a such a useless peice of shit.
    I didn’t know C-movie stars were still considered famous.

    Why does she have money to go on vacation with anyways? She hasnt been in anything in years.

  47. neo

    #45 Cellulite would be an improvement over what she’s got. Bad lipo – arrggghhh. She’d have better luck with some fat siphoned in to try and even it out.

  48. #47 im not sure she’s C-movie material anymore…more like “life on the Z list”

  49. bedbugsandballyhoo

    This is what Blohan will look like in a few years…and just like Tara and Britney, she will still be wearing bikinis and skimpy clothes and never realising how horrible she looks.
    Tara probably did have friends with her when she bought that; Tara:Hey guys how does this look on me? Friends: Oh, my god you are so hot in that! I am so jealous! You should wear that all the time! Friends walk away laughing their assees off as Tara struts around on beach clueless that she looks like an assorted collection of small bean bags.

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