Tara Reid talks about her messed up body

October 11th, 2006 // 103 Comments

  1. RichPort

    I’m loving the remnants of ejaculate on her T shirt… no that’s ok sweetheart, just shut up, open your mouth and for godssake leave your T shirt on…

  2. jrzmommy

    She’s definately like the chick from SEVEN who killed herself rather than have her face scarred.

    Hey, Tara, YOU’RE VAIN!

  3. Captain Walleye

    Wow, I can’t believe I ever wanted to do her. Now I’d have to think twice about it.

    Natural beauty is way more attractive than fake beauty, even when a woman gets older.

  4. I always thought Tara Reid was pretty, but she focused too much on drinking and partying! She should have focused on saying “don’t give me that crap!”

    Dressmaker: Don’t worry, Tara, this dress won’t expose your boob.
    Tara: Don’t give me that crap!

    E! Executive: Don’t worry, Tara, your show is doing fine with us.
    Tara: Don’t give me that crap!

    Plastic Surgeon: Don’t worry, those bumps on your boobs and the stomach thing will go away.
    Tara: Don’t give me that crap, you A**HOLE!

    See, focus on these things…


  5. Bad hair extensions, wrong-sized bra, disgusting tummy, crooked mouth …
    I miss Jessica Biel

  6. Folu362

    AFJ- what the hell is wrong with your blog site?? I am going through serious AFJ blog withdrawal..and it’s only been 12ish hours.

    Is it just me?

  7. beifiori

    Just goes to show you that you can’t ever remove trash from trailer trash…she’s never made it on merit in hollywood…I’m quite sure the ONLY reason she’s ever gotten bit parts is because she play acted like a hoover for the producers, be they male or female. she may as well give it up with the surgeries, NOTHING will help that wreck, and finally is she completely stupid to be announcing “guyS I was dating…”? What a whore! Tara, please, do us all a favor and crawl back to the trailer park.

  8. BigJim

    What the hell is wrong with you people?

    She looks smokin’ hot… For a Yankees pitcher who crashed a plane into an apartment building.

    Seriously, when stuff gets posted late at night it brings out all the alcoholics. You people can’t spell worth shit when you’re drunk.

  9. “I wanted – I’m not going to lie – a six-pack. I had body contouring, but it all went wrong. My stomach became the most ripply, bulgy thing.”

    Next time, I suggest regular exercise and, maybe, a salad occasionally.

  10. MollyPoo

    #35 – Word on the bad hair extensions. Day-um.

    Gawd, she is so gross. And she used to be so cute. What a shame.

  11. Cathy4thCB

    AOL Movie News adds her as commenting: “I couldn’t wear a bikini. I lost a lot of work. I lost my confidence,” she said. “This was a nightmare I lived through.”

    Please! Nightmare!? Is she so focused on her bad boob job that she does’t really see the effects of actual, real nightmares, like say, tornatos and tsunamis? Or shootings at schools?

    And don’t even get me started on that whole bikini thing.

    Sounds like someone should put down the booze, sober up, stop whining, and get some perspective on the real nightmares of real people.

    Truly insulting. I have no sympathy whatsoever for this blown out of purportion “ordeal” of hers.

  12. biatcho

    If this cuntmunching bag of poo was so concerned & embarassed with the way her tits & abs looked then why the fuck did/does she still wear clothes that wouldn’t fit an 8 year old ehtiopian?
    She wouldn’t be half the hag she is if she just wore clothes that were classy & demure. Instead she feels better about running around half naked and then wonders why men’s dicks shrivel up inside their body cavity at the sight of her.
    I feel only shame for her. And I hope she chokes on someone elses vomit.

  13. RichPort

    #58 – That was colder than a penguin’s ass.

  14. Biatcho – you are a word-miester!

  15. Jenna

    Tara, hon, you do know that tunic tops are in this season right? Maybe you should look into buying a few. Shit, I’ll send you some out of my own closet if you promise to never show us the deformity that is your stomach ever again.

    Um, did it ever occur to her to maybe look into malpractice lawsuits on the “plastic surgeons” that completely fucked up her body? I’m not lawsuit happy, but goddamn that is some messed up work.

  16. The Superficial is awesome.

    I am participaiting in the Summer of Compliments and I want everyone at this site to know that they’re efforts are definitely appreciated. Whenever I want to go somewhere for news about hobag Tara or that greasy mantis Paris, I come here. Please keep up the good work.

  17. Aw crap, “they’re” should be “their.” I’m such an idiot!

  18. BigJim

    Seeing Tara naked is what made Mark Foley gay.

  19. BigJim


    I was aiming for colder than your mom’s snatch, but I guess I failed.

  20. RichPort

    Sorry BigJim, mom’s a whore who seduces Blue Jays fans for breakfast. And Guats for that matter. That’s probably why I root for the Mets. Needless to say, elementary school was a bit embarassing. In fact didn’t she take that toweled picture of you?

  21. biatcho

    #63 – You think what BigJim said is bad. Let’s think back to late October 2000 just after the Yankess eliminated the Mets and won the World Series… I may have been overheard saying, in a mel-gibsonesque-drunken rage mind you, that i wished the entire Yankee team plane would crash into the side of a mountain. Yes I was angry and I loathe that team, but never meant it to fucking happen… and now my Irish catholic guilt has me feeling very bad today. And I just caused the Mets to probably lose because of it. I hate myself more than Jessica Ellis. I feel shame.

  22. BigJim


    You’re Irish? So if you got knocked up by a black guy you’d give birth to a leprecoon.

  23. Poor kid. She was hot in American Pie 1… but it’s all gone downhill from there.

  24. RichPort

    Biatcho – I just hate Derek Jeter, since he’s 80% of the team anyway. Everytime I looked up in 2000 that blonkey was on base. I really wish the Yanks beat the Tigers, if only to give pitchers more chances to throw at his nuts. And I hate Yankees fans. I take great pleasure in watching them stare at the floor and change the subject when the topic of MLB playoffs comes up. Money can’t always by championships or a nice rack and a flat tummy I guess. Or a fucking GPS that warns pilots they’re too close to a high rise. But it can buy weed. In fact, I’ll test that last theory later today…

  25. runtogethersentences

    she can’t match hair extensions, but at least she can match her teeth to them. (pic 4)

  26. runtogethersentences

    i think this halloween, i’ll go as scare-a reid. just need to repeatedly punch myself in the gut until it’s blue and black, buy a bra from the irregular section of my local hobag store, attach extensions of five different lengths, and find a ratty t-shirt from a nearby dumpster that says something along the lines of, “look at me! i’m a whore!”

  27. datstru

    rip, cory lidle, you teammate-bashing picket-line crossing scab

  28. commissioner

    I buy my six packs at the liquor store, not from some quack.

    Looks like a stripper out with co-workers on a week night. She better hook up with a unionized factory worker before she can’t climb the stairs to the main stage anymore.

    She’s a POW. Partied out whore.

  29. biatcho

    Big Jim – nice one! Coons!

    You’re a canadian… or a coonadian. Or a Coonuck?

  30. RichPort

    I guess that makes me an Americoon, and Marc Anthony a Puerto Ricoon.

  31. ponk

    I hit her doggy style so i don’t have to look at that deformed stomach.

  32. eatyourfeedback

    My favorite part of the interview is where she says “I’ll never be perfect again”, as if she was ever perfect. In my opinion she has never been anything more than very slightly above average-looking.

  33. BarbadoSlim

    Bitch need to stop drinkin’

  34. There are a lot of things that can go wrong with plastic surgery. Here are some breast jobs gone wrong-


  35. checkyourshorts

    The irony is now she has no choice but to find someone who loves her for… her.

  36. Do Freebird

    If you look a little left of center, just under what is allegedly called a breast, you can see a stain on her shirt.

    Either she spilled a little of the vodka she had in big gulp cup, or maybe her breast is leaking.

  37. crystalclear

    Who’s the devil woman in pic 4?

  38. BoognishRising

    I hope her tits fall off.

    That day will be Jimmy Shaker day.

  39. LL

    I admire her candor, if not her judgment. Thank goodness she didn’t squander her money on a college degree or acting lessons. Here’s some free advice for Tara:

    1. Stop TANNING; jebus, you’re looking like a saddle. An old saddle. A little color is OK, but when your skin is darker than your hair, that’s rarely flattering
    2. Either keep your roots fixed or go brunette
    3. Yank out those extensions and then get a decent haircut; Tom Cruise’s hair looks better, and that’s not good
    4. Stop dressing like a teenager, you’re not fooling anybody
    5. Try drinking a little less; get a hobby or do some charity work; you don’t wanna be the sad chick at the club who thinks she still has to/can compete with 19-year-olds.

    You’re welcome, Tara.

  40. Oh Please, she said she wanted B-Cups? B.S. then why didn’t she get them reduced when she first got those Double D honkers like 3 years ago?

  41. coccinellasogni

    In order for Tara Reid to look good, she would have to:

    1.) Get rid of those horrible roots! She would probably look better with darker hair. She needs to cut those scraggly ends, too.

    2.) Wear less trashy make-up and clothes.

    3.) I don’t know how she has to get her stomach fixed, but it needs to be fixed. She should have just worked out–a 6-pack would have been so easy to achieve for her since she was already relatively thin to begin with. Why go through all the trouble associated with surgery for a 6-pack?

    I feel kind of bad for her, because for a while she was doing some pretty big movies and even though she wasn’t that popular at least she didn’t have the reputation that she does now. And what kind of guys was she dating–what jerks to tell her how horrible she looks! Then again, she was linked to Tommy Lee, so her taste in men is questionable…

  42. Lobo

    I think those are tire tracks on her belly . . . and face . . .

  43. polypam

    Ok, so that explains the boobs and tummy. But what about her hair, clothes, and personality?

  44. threat

    And teeth?

  45. NipsyHustle

    this tramp is worn out. can she just kill hersself already? the longer she lives the less likely there will be a True Hollywood Story done on her.

  46. Tara’s the kind of chick that’s hot in the club, under the mood lighting and shadows. Then, when you get her home, she morphs into Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Her rumpled stomach spelling out “Fuck You” while she drunkenly dozes on your couch that she just puked all over. Her behemoth boobs, starch straight, their nipples eyeing you ominously as their areolas spew forth a gangrenous silicone concoction. Her insane eyes rolled back in her vacuous head as she farts deeply, trumpeting the pending tequila shit her bowels are churning for you. In short – the kind of chick you don’t want to take home.

  47. The term that comes to mind is “rode hard and put away wet”.

  48. Lance Bass Turd

    She shoulda bedazzled her stomach instead of her jeans.

  49. Jeremy1Esq

    her problem is the hair and personality. Her tits are fine and lumps in the stomach is just a temporary setback. She can be attractive again if she would stop hanging out with drug addicts and party dorks. Id do her and Id date her if the personality was good.

  50. wtflalalala

    Tara Reid reminds me of the school slut who will have sex with anyone and anything she touches.

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