Tara Reid still a drunken mess, sun still bright

December 12th, 2006 // 78 Comments
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There was a period of about a week where I thought Tara Reid might actually turn out okay. But then this happened and I’m sure that put her right back on the sauce. She was recently spotted stumbling out of Kabaret Prophecy in London looking slightly less than sober. And from the looks of it she was caught in the middle of a truly intellectual sentence. Maybe a complex analysis of cosmic microwave background radiation as it relates to the Big Bang theory. Or maybe a dissertation on the sociopolitical impact of race relations in the workplace. I can only imagine what wonders may have emerged from her mouth. I’m sure whoever heard it had their minds opened forever. Like hearing the voice of God himself.

superficial

  1. What a suprise… lol

  2. Grope For Luna

    >if I had their money … If I had their
    >looks,…If I had their talent

    Talk about shooting fish in a barrel.You better stick to waxing floors. :]

  3. MyGosh!

    Ouch… She’s ugly! Maybe she just got drunk to forget the mess her plastic surgeant did with her boobs and her belly… Oh no, I know… She’s not drunk at all! This face is the result of a face lift she just got from the same guy. She thought looking ugly would take the emphasis away from her deformed breasts. Good job Tara!

  4. Tara Reid = gross.

  5. marie-jo

    By her facial expression on the 1st pic I’d say she’s practicing to star as Rambo.
    She’s got something Sly Stalonisch going on there.

  6. rudesauce

    Pic 3: Her shirt is tucked into her pink undies! What a drunken loser. If that guy lets go of her waist, she’ll hit the ground like a sack of moldy potatoes. Which, coincidently, her chest is comprised of…Moldy potatoes…With all the dirt and the little eyes and everything.

  7. Antonotron

    what’s with blondes and their unflinching attraction to trashy, tattooed, knuckle-draggers? That’s what i’d like to know…

    granted: tara is no spring chicken in this shot — but stop acting like you would have turned your nose up at the opportunity to bang her on the set of the Big Lebowski or American Pie.

  8. blessed_be25

    hot mess

  9. RichPort

    #6 & #32 HA!!!!!

    #19 – I agree. Everytime Tara gets plastered (drunk or bukakked, take your pick), she helps to stave off mankind’s impending judgement day. Everytime she passes out on a stranger’s shoes, a swarm of locusts dies. And everytime she exposes her dimpled, assless, body by Dupont, cataclysmic volcanic explosions recede and are quelled. In this respect, she is akin to Christ in her magnanimity. Cheers. Drink on indeed Tara…

  10. tsarinaamanda

    That guy she’s with looks like Asslee Simpson’s “boyfriend”…what’s his face…Brandon Olata? All these whores fuck each other’s boyfriends/husbands/exes/every cock in CA, so I wouldn’t be too surprised if it was.

    EJ/BarbadoSlim-

    I know this is old, but thanks for the love in the Britney thread. You guys are fucking great. I know I shouldn’t let lame-ass trolls get to me, but when they try to say shit about my fucking stepfather, I get a *bit* pissed off. Like it wasn’t bad enough that it was stalking me and looking up my fucking Myspace? What a fucking psycho. But anyways, I love you guys…thanks for having my back :)

  11. jrzmommy

    Her mother should have named her Grace.

    Why is she dressed for a blizard and the dude is dressed for a heatwave in Brooklyn?

  12. ph7

    Hey, I’d go for a round of drunken, sloppy fucking with her.

    Looks like fun. Plus, much easier to slip out when you are done.

    “heeeeeeyyyyy…..whereareu goinnnnng? come bakc here….

  13. HughJorganthethird

    classic Tara. Oh sure I’d still bang her, but I’d take a dump in her kitchen on the way out.

  14. kate

    Can I just please ask who the hell believed she had cleaned up her act in the first place? She shows up on a red carpet looking halfway decent and suddenly the past 4 years have been wiped away? Not.

    Same with Lindsay “I haven’t had a drink in a week, so give me a fucking medal” Lohan. I give it 2 months before she’s acting like a whore again.

  15. EJ

    Heh, back at ya, 61. Thought your stuff was spot-on and didn’t deserve the trollin’ that you got.

    And just remember that what they want most is to push your buttons. Next time they call you a baby-raping mass murder, just smile and say, “Actually, now that you mention it, I AM! Incidentally, what was YOUR address again?” ;)

  16. I quite honestly feel sorry for this…’woman’. Really, I do.

    We all f*ck up, you know? But only we’re not celebrities. Is that what she is? Anyway…this one, every single thing is documented, every f*ck up and trip and mistake and she just can’t seem to get it. She never seems to just GET it! Where is her mother? Was she born of a pod? Where are her friends? Why hasn’t anyone staged an intervention. Doesn’t anyone else think this is sad? I’m just typing because I like the sound of the clicking keys.

    GET HELP, TARA! I am behind you 100%, even though I think you’re a shame to The Sisterhood. (At least she wears panties.)

    I’m hungry.
    xox
    canuck

  17. RichPort

    I’ve seen the full sequence of pictures. When she bends all the way over to puke, her pants fall down and the guy starts boning her. It goes on for awhile. I thought I was completely disgusted, but then I realized my rock-hard cock was starting to lift up my desk. Maybe the tableu somehow looks different when viewed with only one eye…

  18. 86

    She looks like Courtney Love’s younger sister.

  19. Sdvora

    You know those exaggerated caricatures of celebrities in Mad magazine? That’s what that banner picture looks like. Tara Reid has become a complete caricature of herself. Sad.

  20. Jenster

    i dont care. she’s my favorite train wreck.
    Wasn’t she just quoted saying that she wanted to find a nice guy and settle down
    soon? yeah, im sure all the available men
    with half a brain in their heads are just
    LINING up to date her. She’s definently someone to bring home to meet mom and dad.
    She totally has an alchie face.

  21. cole007

    first of all, that’s her drug dealer.

    second of all, she’s wearing the cowardly lion’s shoes, too – did you check da UGGS?

    Yikes. Drunken dressing:
    “I’ll just throw on jeans, a nightgown, this fur coat and my uggs. Ok, ready to go!”

    Can I have another vodk(hiccup)a before we go?

  22. The posts here have been hilarious!!! I would point out which ones cracked me up but there were too many, thanks for helping a Wed. go by faster.

    As for Tara, there is something old fashioned and charming about the kind of trainwreck that just gets drunk, falls down, and fucks up her career compared to the train wreck of Lohan and Spears flashing their battered Vag and making public statments confirming their idiocy. Rock on Tara, Heaven is filled with vomit smelling old drunks just like you baby!

  23. AnnoyingPseud

    I’m waiting for the day we get video or photos of her holding up a 7-11, wearing a clear plastic bag on her head as a “disguise”. After arrest, we’ll find out she’s been living behind the dumpster of the same 7-11, and turning a few tricks on the side for her meth money. She’ll go on ET and confess to having had 13 abortions, including one from Carson Daly, and noting that after her tumble into the abyss of obscurity, she tried to work an honest job at a WalMart, but customer’s kept mocking and heckling her, so she had to turn to prostitution and robbery. Then the E Hollywood Story, followed by authorities finding her decomposing corpse under a vacant house in Malibu, hand clutching a paper bag covering a flask of Wild Turkey.

  24. tweetyeyes

    I agree! These are definately some of the funniest posts I have ever read on here. Love you all! As soon as I see the pictures I start laughing, thinking of “SloppySeconds” post. I will keep coming back to this one for a while.

  25. ImmaAssClown

    So do you often read photos?

  26. Queen Fug’s back on her throne – Kirsten Dunst and Britney Spears gave good chase, but Tara’s in a league all her own.

  27. who the hell hires her for movies anymore?

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