Tara Reid still a drunken mess, sun still bright

December 12th, 2006 // 78 Comments
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There was a period of about a week where I thought Tara Reid might actually turn out okay. But then this happened and I’m sure that put her right back on the sauce. She was recently spotted stumbling out of Kabaret Prophecy in London looking slightly less than sober. And from the looks of it she was caught in the middle of a truly intellectual sentence. Maybe a complex analysis of cosmic microwave background radiation as it relates to the Big Bang theory. Or maybe a dissertation on the sociopolitical impact of race relations in the workplace. I can only imagine what wonders may have emerged from her mouth. I’m sure whoever heard it had their minds opened forever. Like hearing the voice of God himself.

superficial

  1. JoBOO

    FIRST

  2. raquel

    I’m pretty sure this is the first scene of Blacks on Blondes, Volume 69. Good to see Tara getting work again.

  3. Tracy

    She’s getting the telltale alcoholic “bulbous” nose. She’s going to be such an ugly old drunk in a few years.

  4. sitara

    I like to imagine that the bouncer is throwing her out.

  5. Boogie Monster

    LOL @ # 3. She does have a rather bulbous nose doesnt she? She’s still ugly, still doesnt know how to dress and still annoying.

  6. Sloppyseconds

    “I wuzsh in ‘Murrican Pie, yoush fuckers. Dont’sh you fucken knows whosh I am? Gesh your fucken handsh off me, fuckin fuckers (hic)”

    Followed by vomit of both alcohol and stranger semen.

  7. ph7

    Looks like Tara’s liver and cooter are headed to a tiebeaker to win the “Most Abused Body Part” award.

  8. Flush it all away

    Why is she wearing the Cowardly Lion?

  9. minniememe

    she looks like a badly dressed helen keller. what poor animal had to die so she could look that awful??

  10. JapGirl

    The last pic looks like: “oh no, I gotta pee! I can’t hold it! No way I’m gonna hold it! Paleeeez help!”

  11. minniememe

    hehe… “Cowardly Lion”. so that’s the unfortunate animal.

  12. LilRach

    What a fucken mess. I really used to like this chick and thought that maybe she had cleaned herself up this time – but no. All that money on fixing herself up for nothing. The downhill slide has begun – again.

    And yeah what a fucken bitch wearing that fur coat – get her PETA!

  13. oh my…can you imagine the unspeakable things that happened after these pictures were taken…later when they were alone?

    I’m sure the guy’s still emotionally scarred – http://hollywoodsnark.com

  14. combustion8

    she must be on the same step as lohan.

  15. Tracie

    I’ve seen more photos….ahem….elsewhere, and she actually falls to her knees, (which she’s in the process of doing in the last photo). I am anxiously awaiting the release of the paparazzi video.

  16. She looks like five miles of bad road.

    http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

  17. buzz_clik

    Am I splitting hairs if I mention that the looking pretty thing happened wayyy after the Paris thing? I mean, I know it seems pretty much a moot point when this is the most current picture of her. But if I’m going to chart the decline of a celebrity, I’ve got to adhere to exacting standards, dammit!

  18. Fruity_Metcalfe

    These pictures have given me such a sense of comfort and stability in these otherwise chaotic times. My apocalyptic anxities have evaporated. Drink on Tara, drink on.

  19. Lindsey Lohan, Look at your future in 2 years. It took Tara 10 years to fuck herself out of a career and Lindsey is doing it before she is even 21.

    See, Tara just didn’t Try hard enough.

    As for the Bulbous nose comment….Damn, so right.

  20. Who thought she’d turn out okay? It’s obvious that
    this girl will soon be working the Mac counter
    at Saks in the Short Hills mall where she’ll
    be taunted every day with the phrase”aren’t
    you that girl from those American Pie movies”?

  21. ImmaAssClown

    Anyone remember that teacher that fucked her student- Mary Kay Letourno or something? Isn’t that her student in the pics with Tara? Villie Fillou or some shit?
    and I think that is my German Shepard that was hit by a car she is wearing.

    **all of the above is comedic babble. please don’t post to me that the teacher and student are now married and have a gaggle of kids. I know, I’m just sayin….

  22. biatcho

    Those are some seriously dilated pupils. This shitburger is hopped up on WAY more than a 24 pack of Bud cans.

  23. BarbadoSlim

    hehehehe…Frankentitalicious *give me a recycled beat*

  24. NicotineEyePatch

    You can just smell the incoherency coming off that picture. It’s fun to imagine what she might be trying to say. And the nose is well on it’s way to alcohol-induced rhinophyma. She’ll be able to store spare change in her pores, and without makeup, her broken capillaries will look like a map of fucking Idaho (or wherever she’s from). I give it about four years before she legally has to change her last name to MaGoo.

  25. LL

    Is that guy someone she pays to keep her from falling down? Lohan needs one of those.

    Still, Tara still looks better than Britney. She’s fully dressed, her hair (while messy) looks like it’s been washed recently and we can’t see her boobies or her hoo-hoo. All in all, it could be worse. (See: Britney, Lohan, the Hilton sisters doing that weird legs-up pose in the limo)

    Man, when Tara Reid outclasses you, you know you got a problem.

  26. BarbadoSlim

    “I’m ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille ….BLAARRRRGGGG…BLHEARRRRRGGG”

    she was quoted as sayin’

  27. Rhinoplasty, anyone?

  28. Holy Candy

    Hmmm… tacky fashion sense, alcoholic tendencies and no employment prospects — I’m sensing Britney Spears BFF material here!

    http://www.HolyCandy.com

  29. techclerk

    LAST!

  30. She’s quoting Shakespeare. Really.

  31. keltaurn

    Christ on a cross! She looks like she’s wearing my dog Sparky, and I haven’t seen my dog Sparky in like two days..weird..

  32. It’s what she does best.

  33. EJ

    I’m just going to wax philosophical here, but why are all these girls acting the way they are? Lohan, Paris, Britney, Tara and so on. Say what you will about them, but they really did, at one point, have quasi-good looks, a small iota of talent, and more money than God himself.

    So why are they drinking and drugging themselves into a stupor? Apart from the fact that they’re going to prematurely age, lose a huge wad of money, possibly go to prison, and generally look like an idiot to the discerning public, what’s the upside? If I didn’t know better, I’d say they were depressed and had low self-esteem but – by God! – if I were that rich, I’d fucking BUY me some self-esteem if I had to.

    What I would NOT do is:
    1) Become an alcoholic
    2) Become a drug addict
    3) Go pantyless in public
    4) Wear lingerie in public and pretend that my sexy nightie is really a dress (I’m talking to YOU, Paris)
    5) Wear my grandma’s slip in public and pretend it’s a dress (Your turn, Lohan)
    6) Pop out two kids and then promptly forget their name, gender, etc. because I’m busy, dammit!!

    In general, if I had their money – I’d dress nicely and buy a boat and never work a day again. If I had their looks, I’d find a nice man with matching funds and let him tell me how gorgeous I am (preferrably once an hour). If I had their talent, I’d do a couple of B movies, promote a charity or two, and then retire gracefully to New Zealand. Why don’t they??? It just… confuses me. Seriously.

    Okay, now I’ll go back to being snarky and sarcastic.

  34. krisdylee

    There’s still poeple doing the FIRST thing?
    Fuck off…..

  35. LilRach

    #34 – You rule man! I’m so proud that your choice would be to retire in NZ! That’s my homeland!

  36. John Doe Jr

    After these pictures were taken, they went back to his place and split a Dominos 5 5 5 deal, he then proceeded to eat what he thought was a slice with sausage, but turned out one of her nipples fell off.

  37. shanonorato

    Well said, John Doe Jr. : )

  38. gapeachrocks

    #34 – Absolutely dead on!!!
    Celeb life is just soooo haaard, you know?
    I can’t believe they can’t make the most simplistic decisions without blowing it and becoming fodder for all of us to taunt. Tara was cute, funny, etc. She was a skinny girl who stupidly had a “surgeon gone wild” do her unnecessary lipo and perhaps sucked out what little brains she had in the process! I’m with you, EJ, I don’t get it. Sail away, Tara, while you still can. (Or did you just blow your last dime on a bottle of Grey Goose?)

  39. The guy looks very interested in what she is saying and appears to be hanging onto every word. It must truly be fascinating!

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  40. tweetyeyes

    #6, I cannot remember the last time I have cried from laughing so hard. Thank you, I will continue to come back and read your post when I’m having a horrible day. Thanks a bunch!

  41. squidtits

    He most likely left before dawn, so all she has to remember him by are these pictures and the mysterious dry, flaky residue on her cheeks. Otherwise she’d be none the wiser.

  42. jojo

    She has the nose of an old drunk man who sits in the same bar stool every day at the bar. She also looks like she smells

  43. ToiletDuck

    Arrr…show us yer tits…

  44. James

    #2 spot on and from the looks of this she’s not worthy of getting any decent white guy. Must suck for her parents knowing that she can’t get a straight laced white guy only some low rent niggers.

  45. sexybitch

    #45
    Must suck for your parents to know that none of their kids lived.

  46. libtard

    Anyone else notice that her pinky nails are longer than the rest of her fingers? Now, I’m not saying she’s dipping coke with them, except for the part where I just said that very thing.

  47. libtard

    #36…… I want to move there too. Can I be an exchange student or something?

    #44……. I really don’t think you want that, and deep down in your heart I’m sure you’ll realize that I’m right.

  48. Dory

    Ah but now she has even boobs whilst being drunk

  49. libtard

    I’m not willing to take that chance, Dory. You see, I looked at them once and… well, it wasn’t very nice. Sometimes I have flashbacks while I’m driving and I have to pull over and take a few vics and smoke some weed before I can go on. No, Dory, I’m just not ready for the breasts yet. I’m still hurting from the Britney vagina incident. Please, give me some time to heal. I’m going to need a few more posts about Brad and Angelina and maybe some Johnny Depp full-frontal nudity before I can look at her again. For the love of God, what does a woman have to do to get some naked pictures of Johnny Depp???

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