Tara Reid to open her own fast-food restaurant

March 19th, 2007 // 58 Comments
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Tara Reid is starting up her own fast-food joint called Ketchup and plans to open it in Los Angeles on March 31. She says:

“You probably won’t see me behind the cash register, but I’ll definitely be in the kitchen making sure everything is done right.”

I know she has some experience in the restaurant business (she’s also invested in Bella, Geisha House and The Shore), but she’s not mentally capable of running a restaurant. The chef will be grilling a hamburger and she’ll step in and go, “No, no, like this,” and she’ll pick it up and put it on her head. Then she’ll walk around and squeeze ketchup on everybody while screaming “Pillow fight!”

superficial

  1. Viola

    Whatever

  2. You’ll be able to order plate-sized nipples with a healthy side-order of no-shame.

  3. MrSemprini

    Over 2 billion customers ignored almost immediately.

  4. waitnotyetdamnu

    Definitely order the “TaraBelly Chili” it’s excellent, lots of meat chunks. Plus like everything it’s saturated with tequila.

  5. bond

    wow, check out that schnoz. she should think about getting that fixed. although if it turned out anything like her boobs after she fixed it, she probably should just leave it alone…

  6. GooniesNeverSayDie

    I’ll have 2 large gallons of milk to go, please….

  7. mrs.t

    Who the fuck dresses her? Look at that top-I have to assume the idea was to accentuate her horrific boob job. What else could the stylist possibly have in mind with the single diaganol betewwen-boob strap, and the other strap going inside the top, leaving her already mangled chest looking even more bizarre. He was all “Girl, everyone knows its a mess under there-let’s work it!” (Three snaps in the Z formation)

  8. mztry

    Good luck to her…

    YOU PEOPLE SUCK!

  9. mrs.t

    *between

  10. Gum Dumpster

    She should Ketchup to whoever’s in charge of her plastic surgery and beat them to death

  11. jrzmommy

    She was destined to a life of repeating “You want fries with that?”

  12. didey23

    someone give this girl a bra PLEASE!!!

  13. thebor

    It should be called Ketchup at the Y, or the Ketchup Taco, or The Tomato Tampon.

    Just some ideas for ya.

  14. BarbadoSlim

    This sounds like a great idea! You know what else is a great idea? Taking that sex tour of Haiti, condom free!!!!

  15. elizabeththewellread

    I was just thinking that she doesn’t look completely disgusting in this phot. Not great, of course, but at least I don’t want to vomit.

  16. Hecubus

    Wow she’s really helping her community. If there’s one thing LA is in desperate need of it’s more fast food. (hard to sound sarcastic in print)

  17. MrSemprini

    Is her right boob in a sling or what? Man, I just pooped my underpants, just a little bit.

  18. wronghole

    She broke her right boob when she ran into a sliding glass door at her new restaurant.

  19. KatieKates

    Actually, she’s just investing in the restaurant. Who in their right mind would want Tara Reid associated with their establishment?

    And what the fuck is up with her shirt?

  20. bungoone

    that shirt is strangling her right boob. maybe it will cut off blood flow & fall off. then she’ll get a boob job done right, hopefully. but probably not…

  21. ph7

    “Ketchup”?

    Who the fuck eats ketchup?

  22. check out the new picture of terda peed i just drew!

  23. MissAntithesis

    She always looks entirely too happy to be accosted by paparazzi. Is anyone else creeped out by that?

  24. The name of the restaurant needs help…well, so does she. Does her PR guy actually think this will boost her career?
    I wouldn’t eat there. I heard all her lipo fat is used for the fries…

  25. veggi

    boooooooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiing.

  26. Stick it in her pooper.

  27. DrPhowstus

    I have no idea how it happened, but my dick grew legs and arms, unzipped itself, and ran the fuck off. Thanks Fish. Stupid sloped shoulder, dimpled belly, mismatched made by Dupont titted, alcoholic beeotch.

  28. fame is funny

    How’s she supposed to be involved in a restaurant if she can’t even get her OWN breast meat done right?

  29. Sho'Nuff

    #5
    HA HA

    I can’t wait to be the first one in line to have Tara ask me if I would like to “Stupid Size” my order.

    Good job you no-talent knock kneed plastic surgery reject! Did that sound mean? Sorry, Great job……

  30. Wow. The Superficial is all over the big stories as usual. Tara Reid opening a restaurant. Yeah. That’s way bigger than a picture of Paris Hilton stroking Cee-Lo’s wang.

  31. PunjabPete

    What? No Bri Bri story? Here you go Fish…
    I am sure you will fail to mention this when you post it up later….

    Bri Bri Knocking Boots in the Shubs
    http://www.azcentral.com/ent/celeb/articles/0319britneyromp.html

    With anyone who can get it up…

  32. veggi

    did you know simon cowell turned down $100,000 to watch a couple do it?
    And you’re right, Brit is a rehab ho.

  33. Luv717

    What the fuck is up with her whacky tits? They look rediculous and uneven in that aweful peasant sheath.

  34. D'arcy

    I’m scared of whatever she’s got hiding in her bra.

  35. schack

    #17. i agree with you. the fast food market is pretty much saturated… so, basically her project is going to fail. (yay!)

    UNLESS she markets a line of food which either (a) can’t be digested, or (b) is loaded with laxatives. somebody’s gotta feed L.A.’s bulemic-orange-innerthighless-cokeswhore population.

  36. Will they be cooking the food in the fat sucked out of her ass or will she just ring last nights semen load out of her panties each morning?

  37. Nikk The Templar

    MMMM….Herpes, whiskey, cigarettes and shitty fashion taste with every value meal.

  38. HughJorganthethird

    What’s with the neck on this ho? it’s like her big fake tits dragged everything above them a few inches lower.

  39. schack

    she couldn’t be wearing an uglier shirt

  40. schack

    39. she always had a weak chin.

  41. TrimSpaBaby

    #9 What the hell is it with you, mztry? You’re on here giving every celebrity assbag your undying support and then saying we all suck. If Tara Reid vowed she wasn’t gonna shit for the rest of her life and instead just hold it in to make her tits bigger and even out her ripply gut, you’d be right there burning your Charmin in sympathy and wishing her luck. And telling us we all suck.

  42. Dr. Mean

    I preferred the original restaurant name, Droopy’s.

  43. Truthseeker013

    “Ketchup”. Stroke of naming genius, there. I’ll be over in the corner, kicking myself for selling the rights to “Mustard” and “Relish”.

  44. wink

    FLASH….New hit show set to open on The Food Channel……….or not ! !

  45. Carsten5577

    Who’s the swarthy greaseball?

  46. imran karim

    way to go fastfood

    imran karim

  47. illkarate

    She decided on “Ketchup” for the name? Why not “Tarable”???

  48. Ithrowball,youleave

    #28, Thank you! I’m glad I’m not the only one that thinks she’s shaped like a penis. What kind of in-bred genes cause shoulders to slope like that? Looking at her reminds me of my first lil’ pink vibrator…

  49. Surria

    She looks like a fucking bobble-head! Seriously, isn’t her head big enough to snap her neck?

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