Tara Reid on the cover of Playboy

December 14th, 2009 // 81 Comments

Tara Reid will apparently be topless in the latest issue of Playboy (above) in an effort to shut everyone up who keeps showing “old” pictures of her, according to a recent interview with WPIX:

“I’ve been OK now for the last five or six years but people only show old pictures which is so unfair and that’s part of the reason why I did the Playboy shoot – to show the world this is me and this is what I look like.”

I had no idea pictures from this summer really happened five to six years ago, but then again my stomach isn’t botched to the point where it warps the very fabric of time. To put things in perspective, Tara Reid could’ve murdered someone this morning, yet to her it happened 50 years in the future while a brontosaurus watched. (Read: There’s going to be a lot of airbrushing.)

Photos: Playboy, Fame

  1. jiz

    first .. but what an empty feeling

  2. Dr. Katz, MD

    Is that her face or her body? think not.

  3. Mr.Mr.

    this is all kinds of bad. ive never seen so much misplaced skin

  4. Isis

    “…to show the world this is me and this is what I look like.” With a little help from photoshop!!

  5. Hank

    “show the world what I look like” is code for “I need to think of a plausible excuse for hitting this career low”

  6. Hank

    “show the world what I look like” is code for “I need to think of a plausible excuse for hitting this career low”

  7. Kate

    I’m sorry, her body looks like my grandma’s.

  8. Fat Chicks Suck

    Tara Reid destroyed herself and she’s gross.

    On another note…I’m buying EVERYTHING in #5′s post – what a genius marketing tactic! I’m hoping they will accept double the money for all of those great bargains! I really hope these idiots have an automated program to post that stuff because if they actually manually copy and paste that stuff it may be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard of. Hours a day spent posting worthless bullshit on message boards that people just ignore.

  9. Ok whats going on…. that does not look right…

  10. titsonsnack

    #8 wut?

  11. donnerpartyoffive

    Ohhh, new fiction by Dennis Lehane. Exciting!!

  12. Wacker

    There isn’t a air brush big enough in the world to do that job. I seen the 80′s Playboys and she didn’t look good then. No Wack Attack, it went inside, and my balls too!

  13. donnerpartyoffive

    You’d think if your stomach was that fucked up you might have some shame.

  14. OMG WTF is wrong with her?! In the last pic it looks like her upper half is taller than her lower half!! The latest issue of Playboy may be the last!

  15. stupidass

    Just what I wanted…….nude pictures of Magda from “There’s Something About Mary”.

  16. Hugh Hefner

    Brilliant move for playboy – no wonder no one buys it anymore. yeah, put naked pics of someone no one cares about and no one wants to look at in the magazine. how about some more women over 40, cuz yeah, we all want to see naked pics of old ladies. maybe next month can feature ‘girls of the traveling freak shows’ with naked pics of the bearded lady and jojo the mulefaced woman.

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  19. Jay Popeski

    I don’t care what anyone says. I’d tap that ass HARD.

  20. saignement

    yay tara!
    i bet she thought it was playbill magazine.

  21. Dinsaur Dude

    I think you mean Apatosaurus.
    The Brontosaurus was a clever forgery, just like the super airbrushed pics of Tara will be.

  22. GeorgeWBush

    Playboy has really gone downhill…..

  23. michelle

    she looks really strange on the cover… like not ugly but not hot… just not right. look at her hands… ewwww… if the crypt-keeper used spray on tanner, i would imagine that is how his hands would look (and if he had skin)

  24. David Hasslehoff's Beer Farts

    Looking at Playboy pictures of Henry Winkler in a naked spread eagle position would be as equally arousing as looking at this “thing”.

  25. bakinmycake

    the second place option for cover was my placenta,

    BUT somehow Tara won?

  26. Megan Fox's stubby thumbs

    Post #24
    I would rather look at Donald Trumps sweaty foot than this Goblin.

  27. LEB

    I liked her way better before the boobs.

  28. havoc

    i think they just hooked a come-along to her back and just cranked back the skin until it was tight.

    Or they photoshopped the fucking Bejesus out of it.


  29. bill

    I can’t believe I PAID good money to see a poorly constructed Tara Reid…….where’d the A-listers go Playboy?…….assholes.

  30. Megan Fox's stubby thumbs

    Now that I think about it. In pic #2 she looks like Jabba the Huts little side kick buddy that always laughs.

    She is grotesque. Playboy has sunk a new low.

  31. Kadri

    Nice try Tara.

    You go in Playboy, they photoshop the hell out of your pictures, and then you say “See, I told you I’m all back to normal looking.”

    It’s a LIE Tara, and you’re a disgusting looking pig.

  32. McG33

    They already airbrushed the moles off her chest for that cover picture so you just know the pix inside are going to be super fake.

  33. blah

    Is it bad that looking at this cover depresses me and makes me feel sorry for Tara all at the same time. She got the I need the money and I’m miserable look on the cover.

  34. ding a ling


  35. poo

    Hmm..the first pic, her legs look a little funny, but that just may be the overtanning…
    the other pics dont look that bad..dunno if i’d waste a good nut on her back though.

  36. poo

    sorry…meant the first bikini pic

  37. True beauty – a kind word – a good deed…….never could be had by surgery or photo-shop. Someday maybe these thin and surgically altered people will be seen differently. Others will wonder what all the fuss and starvation was all about. A caring heart never goes out of style. Celebrate individuality. People don’t have to conform to be beautiful.

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  39. hard boiled pegg

    What a good example to young girls of how you may look if you abuse your bodies.

    Ugly, germ ridden, fake, bleached, good for nothing but hoovering crack whore.

  40. hard boiled pegg

    …… sorry, I forgot to add sucking dick. That she would be good for.

  41. Lauren

    She looks like the victim of a horrible fire.

  42. 1moreidiotintheworld

    Sounds like Playboy is up for the airbrushing miracle of the century……

  43. Yeah...

    She needs to get over herself and realized she’s messed up her body and trying to fake it to everyone. Her body looks nothing like that, or her face. Stupid airbrushing.

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  45. Someone put this thing on the cover of Playboy? Wow They have Scraped bottom I think the OLD Man (HEF) has lost it .whats next bowl of oat meal centerfold? Put that dog to sleep .

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  47. Her phony plastic boobs are new and improved! The rest is still nasty though. A lifetimes worth of busted in only 30 years.

    Just put some clothes on like a normal person Tara. Smile and be cute. Why are you the only person in the universe that has to wear a bikini 24/7/365?

    She’s like a nudist, or those dumb asses in Oregon. They’re the last people anyone wants to see naked. *HORF*

    Having said that, check out her legs in pic 2!! SUPER SEXAAAY!!!!

  48. still waiting for the Tara Reid porn video!!

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