Tara Reid not ‘family friendly’ enough for Dancing with the Stars

August 7th, 2008 // 53 Comments

Tara Reid needs work and she needs it bad. Mostly because booze doesn’t grow on trees. (Hang tight, Tara, I’ve got people on it.) She’s tried to score a gig on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars, but network execs are looking for someone that, how do I put this gently? Isn’t a drunk stupid whore. FOX News reports:

According to our inside source, the perennial party girl has applied for the show multiple times but was rejected each time on the basis that she isn’t “family friendly” enough. Ouch.

But, hey, guess who is apparently fun for the whole family: Kim Kardashian! Oh, wow, that makes almost perfect sense if this were Retarded Land:

And speculation has been stirring for quite some time about whether Kim Kardashian will bring her booty into the ballroom — but it looks as though it’s going to be a double whammy this season. A Kardashian camp insider said that Kim will be battling against her mom, Kris Jenner.

Okay, let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Raging alcoholic with Franken-boobs: Not quite family entertainment. Chick who’s famous for getting peed on: “Kids, go get grandpa and gather around the TV. This is more wholesome than church!” I’m starting to understand the terrorists now.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. Chef

    Papz in pic 4 needs to pull his pants up.

  2. granada

    She is one ugly bitch.

    Kim Kardashian can’t dance…not with that planet of an ass.

  3. HeyLady

    Tara Reid is a nobody, as is Kim Kardashian. Celebrity gossip type stuff isn’t even interesting anymore because basically now they’re ALL just a bunch of no-talent wannabes.

  4. Racer X

    She’s be too drunk to dance.

    /Kika > all

  5. MR MONKEY SPANKER

    By family friendly, they mean “A person who at least one person in your family would want to fuck”

  6. She can dance with me anytime! I’ll even be her roommate, if she pays the rent. I’ll even do laundry and take out the trash!

  7. Barely Stearn

    That’s a shame: The only thing that would make me want to watch that kind of bullshit network programming is a Tara Reid tango dance through an obstacle course of vodka and tequila bottles…

  8. The Dude

    I’m just gonna go find a cash machine

  9. They wouldn’t let her “accidentally” pop her tit out so she stumbled out of the room belligerently.

  10. Kate

    No, what they really mean is “she isn’t famous enough” unlike Kardashian, who is international celebrity after her work on the quiant independant film “Golden Showers”.

  11. BB

    I guess I am confused as to when Kim got pissed on. I never saw it on video nor have a seen a picture of it.

    WHEN WAS KIM PISSED ON?

  12. Classy

    Another cracker ass bitch that failed miserably at life. Good job white man!

  13. Ted Mosby

    Kim would knock her dance partner off the floor with her humungo ass. Tara would probably barf vodka on her partner.

  14. poor poor tara reid. God just really needs to start over with her.

  15. Amber

    But jerry springer was family enough?

  16. Jocco

    Nobody likes her

  17. literarycritic

    @#12: In the mostly-boring sex tape she made with Brandy’s little brother. As in, he pissed on her, on camera. Where the fuck have you been for, like, the past two years?

  18. I love that Kim Kasomething has built a career out of nothing. It’s like a modern fairytale.

  19. Tara

    16,

    Don’t you gather up the family in the living room for an hour of Jerry?

  20. havoc

    I hope they put Kim in the skimpiest, sluttiest, most see through outfit ever…

    Then I’ll watch.

    .

  21. huh?

    C’mon girls: there is no shame in wearing a bra

  22. sharpeidude

    What can you say……

    “Star one day, Dana Plato tomorrow.”

  23. kent

    She is pretty and sexy. I think I will love her. LOL. Every time I sign in to the celeb club “”"”"”"C e l e b M i n g l e . c o m”"”"”"”, I can see many new topics talking about her. She has created a nice profile for seeking a hot man for hook ups.

  24. Fumus

    @18

    I watched the tape and I didn’t see any peeing…and I didn’t know about that either I didn’t start reading celeb trash stuff until like a year ago. But I’m so glad I did…I even submitted an article to the Superficial about Kim!! ha! I rule…

    http://thesuperficial.com/2008/04/kim_kardashian_endorses_barack.php#comment

  25. Unlucky #13

    Nigger ass whore get your cotton pickin’ ass back in that field.

  26. Michele

    Oh my Lord. Is she wearing one of them belly things from back in the 90′s. And why does her hair always mangae to look like crap. And i know why they don’t want her on dancing with the stars… Cause she doesn’t wear a bra. What a freakin skank!

  27. Classy

    #26- You’re a white man that can’t form a complete sentence. What a surprise!

  28. Classy

    #27- cuz she’s white. Didn’t you know that all white girls are slutty trash? You do now.

  29. Roderick

    #26-why do you hate black people so much? Wouldn’t you love to have sex with a black woman just once? At least you’ll be able to say you did. It’s fun, everyone’s doing it.

  30. chris

    @30- no, not everyone is doing it. Haven’t you read the news lately about the sky rocketing HIV rates in the black community.
    You’re an idiot, Roderick.

  31. conspiracy

    @ # 19. Kim hasn’t made acareer out of nothing. She has made a career out of that galaxy that hangs out on the bottomof her spine. I think the secrets of the universe are trapped in there. Thats why its overflowing. I challenge you all to crack the case.

  32. Roderick

    Ha ha ha…you’re a fuckin fool if you think it’s the black community. Is your dumb ass still talking about America or Africa you fucking moron. White people are getting AIDS too. I bet your dead mom’s real proud of you. Go put on your white robe and pray to your fearless bitch ass leader.

  33. Yeah she is a sour shitty bitch, but I think it is mistake not letting dance.

  34. this is ludicris,i get drunk and flash my vagina at every family outing, kids love that shit. so does my grandpa.

  35. this is ludicris,i get drunk and flash my vagina at every family outing, kids love that shit. so does my grandpa.

  36. meredith

    so…apparently the term “family friendly” now includes sex tape stars? i mean, considering kim kardashian’s going to be on the show…

    and Tara: i don’t care how fake your boobs are (or how perky you seem to delusionally think they are…), a bra wouldn’t kill you. or your “look.”

  37. meredith

    so…apparently the term “family friendly” now includes sex tape stars? i mean, considering kim kardashian’s going to be on the show…

    and Tara: i don’t care how fake your boobs are (or how perky you seem to delusionally think they are…), a bra wouldn’t kill you. or your “look.”

  38. friendlyfires

    Little known fact: when Tara Reid orgasms, she pees. Violently. Like a geyser. Repeatedly. We’re talking putting out a Calfifornia forest fire. Somebody helicopter her out to Malibu pronto and start tickling her twat.

  39. Volcanic Barf

    Sex with a black woman? Why would anyone want to do that? Even black dudes know white women are where it’s at, when they can find them slutty enough to let em stick their AIDS sticks in there.
    I have and never will reduce myself to such a profane act. I have no need to. I bet it stinks in there.

  40. monkeyfightclub

    she’s not on the show is probably because they want the female contestants to show their stomachs, and nobody wants to see that disaster.

    Classy – since when does the McDonalds Drive thru have internet access? If your manager knew you were typing so much bullshit during working hours he’ll put you back on the french fry machine you jackass.

  41. poor tara
    every other celebrity is screwed up worse than her but she still cops a beating and can’t get work

  42. aussie girl

    wow you americans are so racist fucking grow up the rest of the world hates americans anyway

  43. My pretty Pussy

    Americans are the most pathetic tiny dicked losers on the planet. All americans should be killed

  44. sheeeeela

    aussie girl, and dingo-eating Australians are a joke to the rest of the world. Especially Aussies who go around whining that a couple of trolls on a message board are representative of all americans.

    Want shorter words that you can understand?

  45. immmers

    And all Aussies are descended from criminals, Aussie girl. yeah, you’re in a position to preach.

  46. ---------------------VERY RELEVANT COMMENT--------------------------

    Tara Ried is lookin’ like the fine ass skank that most men would fuck until back breaks! But they won’t admit it cuz she’s trash. Tara, go on bein’ the party whore that everyone loves to hate on, and every guy secretly wants to nail in ass!

  47. I wish they had a rating for the superficial writer’s comments…..

    *****

  48. Worst boob job in Hollywood. Get those things fixed, Tara.

  49. Why was this woman born in america in general and “RAISED” in california?
    Only mental STRONG persons can succeed up there.
    SHE WASN’T AND STILL ISN’T!!

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