Tara Reid is still a sloppy drunk and other news

By: The Superficial / July 24, 2009

- Jessica Simpson is looking happy. A little too happy. Which means the McRib’s back. Aww yeah! [Lainey Gossip]

- Jennifer Lopez turned 40 today. 40?! So, wait, 10 years ago I was fantasizing about a 30 year old woman’s ass? Ahh, gross. Remind me to go back in time and burn myself. Sick. [PopSugar]

- Amy Winehouse has been acquitted of assault charges for attacking a dancer trying to take her picture. Wait. Who’s Amy Winehouse again? More importantly, does she have 800 Asian children? That shit is so in right now. [PopEater]

- Kelly Clarkson continues her journey to become a modern day Mama Cass. Someone hide the ham sandwiches. [Celebslam]

- Rihanna goes for the Ace Ventura look. Oh re-e-e-ally? — Shoot me. Shoot me now. [The Blemish]

- Gwyneth Paltrow debones a chicken on GOOP. That “DAYAMN!” you just heard was Colonel Sanders’ ghost who just informed me he’d “eleven herbs dat ass.” [Just Jared]

Photos: Fame