Tara Reid is a diamond thief

March 6th, 2006 // 58 Comments

tara-reid-diamond-thief.jpgTara Reid showed up with twenty people at Rose McGowan’s private luncheon at the Diamond Acquifer Oscar suite at the Soho House in Hollywood and swiped all the gift bags that had been set aside for guests, which included a $1,000 diamond bracelet. An employee of the Diamond Acquifer told Page Six, “Gone! They took them all! Thieves!”

It’s about time Tara Reid gave up on acting and took up a life of crime. A year ago I would have recommended a career in porno, but now I’m really liking the criminal angle. Any slut can have sex, but it takes a real special gal like Tara Reid to be shot to death while trying to rob a bank.

Source

superficial

  1. TheLusciousDeluxe

    LOL

  2. Tracie

    Which is sadder, that Tara Reid has stooped to this level, or that the story is 100% believable by any stretch of the imagination?
    Amy idea how many gift bags there were in total? I wonder after the other 20 outlaws got their cut, how many bucks Tara was left with? Maybe enough for a dime bag? Lucky her…

  3. Binky

    Tara Reid + Rose McGowan = Talent.com

    (ok sometimes i may have had a famous grouse scotch…)

  4. I miss the drunken Tara.

  5. Binky

    Oh – don’t forget our sister-site I Watch Ads.com

  6. gossipgirl

    How bad was the security at this party that TARA REID and her posse of 20 was able to make off with all of these gift bags!?! It’s Tara Reid people–not Houdini. I can’t imagine much brain power went into this heist and I also can’t believe that with all the alcohol in her system she had “cat like speed and reflexes”. Ha.

  7. BurnZ

    Tara probably needed the money to buy large amounts of cocaine to snort while she’s getting gangbanged in an alleyway by four strangers.

  8. celeb_hater

    Tara blew all in the security crew so they’d turn a blind eye when she stole all the bags.

  9. Bonnie Parker did it better. And was better looking. And less of a drunken, Herpes ridden slut.

  10. gogoboots

    What a class act I tell you…Tara’s awesome with her giant ta-ta’s, how tasteful is she!

  11. prideofchucky

    God what a downward spiral!! LOL-the next picture of her will be in a Patty Hearst beret shoving a machine gun into the face of a frantic bankteller.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symbionese_Liberation_Army

  12. prideofchucky

    I mean really- how far is tara from this?:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Hearst-hibernia-yell.jpg

    “Patty Hearst, taking part in the April 1974 Hiberina bank raid yells ‘up against the wall motherfuckers” to bank customers’”

  13. gogoboots

    Yeah the drunken version of the Symbionese Liberation Army. She’d be such a menace, probably couldn’t even shoot straight.

  14. Lipgloss Assassin

    show of hands:

    who’s really surprised by this? Poor Tara must’ve thought that diamonds, when grounded properly, turns into pixie dust to be enjoyed by her nostrils…

  15. prideofchucky

    Posted by gogoboots:

    “Yeah the drunken version of the Symbionese Liberation Army. She’d be such a menace, probably couldn’t even shoot straight.”

    Oh my God! That would make a BRILLIANT SNL skit. Can you imagine in real life?!? You’re right, in Heart’s shoes she’d probably take out everyone in the bank INCLUDING her fellow robbers by her shear stupidity alone!
    I can see her, in B of A , walking around all the dead bodies on a broken heel.
    “Ahh s**t man, this always happens when I mix tequila!” lol!!

    Thanks for the laugh gogo!

  16. Kimmie

    I am not sure about Tara. She is beautiful and talented, but she does do silly things. I don’t think we should judge her though because I think she is working hard and trying to be a wonderful actress. I think she should start having new friends like Candace Bailey and Amanda Bynes. They are pretty and good and shining people.

  17. hafaball

    Seeing how this site says stuff, then a day later they say…”Oops,” I can’t believe this. Though, this does explain where all my Valiums went.

  18. bakismaki

    My broke ass can not comprehend how diamond bracelets are routinely given away at these parties even for b-listers. They give them away like some kind of party favor. Does anyone know why they do this. Its weird.

  19. Don’t you people get it? It isn’t about the value of the goods with Tara, it’s the thrill of the “score”. In fact, she once stole all of my mother’s vicodin out of her purse.

    Wait, that was me.

    I just blamed it on Tara.

  20. ButtSnack

    Kimmie (16): Beautiful?…Do you have eyes? Oh, you must have meant “beautiful” in the same whorish and coked out way that Sandy Lakdar is “beautiful”.

    Talented? Wonderful actress?…So you must not have seen American Pie, right? Or how about My Boss’s Daughter?

    Call me crazy, but I don’t think stealing thousands of dollars worth of gift bags qualifies as “silly things”.

    Go to bed Kimmie. You don’t want to be late for Homeroom tomorrow. You’ll get grounded if your parents find out you were late for roll call again.

  21. Okay, let’s forget about Tara Reid for a moment and ask how it is that Rose McGowan is hosting this crazy diamond-studded event?

  22. Lavinia the Vainglorious

    If former almost-Mrs Manson is giving away $1000 diamond bracelets in a country where some people are living like 3rd world citizens (cough cough Louisiana) and Tara Reid and her posse steal them, I shall clap and laugh heartily.

    Sure she’s a crazy ho, sure she’s an appalling excuse for an actress. But the real villaness in this tale is Marie Antoinette McGowan. Get a sense of proportion lady.

  23. Poster # 4 – I agree The drunken Tara is much more entertaining.

  24. Tara Reid should just do Jerry Springer and get it over with. She’s like thisclose to being on that show anyway……what with all her drunken, whorish antics.

    What a skeezebag.

  25. Kg

    Congratulations, you were outsmarted by Tara Reid.

    Basically it’s like being beaten up by Woody Allen.

  26. billabong021

    she looks likea freakin moron in that pic thre

  27. maggixial

    Back in the day I would’ve had lots of rough sex with Rose. And I’m a straight female. She was so yummy.

  28. rori

    Kimmie,

    Are you for fucking real?

  29. Otto

    #27 By back in the day, do you mean the day you fell on your head and became retarded? Did Tara Reid sneak in to your skull and steal your brains? I ask as one straight female to another. (and by female, I mean, that I have a penis).

  30. Zanna

    Don’t give up your day job Oto. Stealing the Superficial’s way of writing is like….Tara Reid stealing goodie bags.

    Anwyay, #27 – hot rough sex…MY FAVORITE! Rose was hot back in the day, no doubt:

    http://www.freenet.de/freenet/film_und_musik/tv/bildershows/rose_mcgowan/bilder_gross/01.jpeg

  31. Otto

    Zanna, you’re right and I am sorry. I hadn’t had any coffee and I think I’m starting my period (bitchy). It’s just that all these “straight” females are always saying they’d love to have rough sex with all of these female stars…it’s like cowboys deciding to have sex with cowboys instead of sheep. It just doesn’t make sense.

  32. tits_on_snack

    I’d hit it.
    Rose, I mean.

  33. playahater101

    When is this girl gonna finally run outta money and fall off the face of the earth? She’s a waste. Kimmie, you need a reality check if you think this drunk slob is talented. She sucks. And it isn’t the people she hangs with, it’s her.

  34. This is Tara Reid we’re talking about, people. Saying she’ll sell the jewels for a few bags is giving her way too much credit.

    What I would give her credit for is being the only person who could up with a method of breaking down the diamonds into a fine powder, and snorting THAT up.

  35. ESQ

    I think it is about time someone step in and create an intervention for Tara Reid as stupid stunts like this she is on a one-way road just like Dana Plato did.

    Sad stupid bitch that Tara Reid is

  36. sammygirl

    ESQ, don’t give me false hopes that Reid Tard will follow the footsteps of Dana Plato. One can only wish.

  37. DaveBenner

    Hello Kimmie (#16), I’m a wealthy prince from a magical land. I paint and write poetry and give ponies to the poor. Together we can make both of our wildest dreams come true. You’ve always dreamt of finding a jar full of rainbows and pixie dust under your pillow, and I’ve always dreamt of plowing a complete retard.

  38. Grphdesi23

    I’ve met her once. She was pretty nice. And from what I remember…she wasn’t drunk.

  39. dimestoredetective

    Yes and Tara stole my heart as well…
    Just like Winona did…

  40. princess373

    This is my theory. Kimmie is not real. It is just somebody fucking with us. There is no way anyone is that naive. Anyway why would someone like that even read this site, she couldn’t get the humor. It has to be someone using a different screen name and laughing their ass off at the replies.

  41. PURPLE_GURL

    dude who WOULDNT steal as many diamond bracelets as they could. if you were walking behind someone and they dropped their diamond bracelet worth $1000 youd go give it back like a good little citizen? screw that i’d swoop that sh*t up fast and run the opposite direction. tara was just following the “steal from the rich and make tara reid richer” rulebook. if you think about it she just made herself like 20 grand richer and didnt even have to get naked.

  42. sammygirl

    I hope she takes those diamond bracelets and ties them together to make a bling-bling noose to hang from.

  43. Mr. Fritz

    I used to think she was hot and spunky. Now I feel sorry for her. She needs an intervention, detoxification, removal from this planet, and a one way ticket to Mars. She’s a media whore like all of the other skanks in Hollywood. I bet she knew her tit was showing when it popped out of her dress. It backfired, because we could see the scar from her new implants and it disgusted everyone.

  44. antispace

    Tara Reid, Paris Hilton, and Tom Cruise.
    Who is the most ridiculous?

    And more importantly, WHY are these people famous!?

  45. CheekyChops

    I agree with #43.

  46. seminole

    of all the crackwhores in Hollywood, she’s the crack-whoriest.

  47. ms.vreeland

    kimmie you’re far too kind, and witty – “They are pretty and good and shining people.”

    so are you, superficial – for putting up(and finding)such a rare and sober picture of the thief

  48. She could have at least tried to steal some talent. Or some nipple sensitivity.

  49. popcornsuite

    Who the hell cares? In Hollywood, $1,000 diamond bracelets are like my five cent Bic ink pen- totally replaceable.

  50. cazz

    Thank god for that!! I just posted under the Macualay (sp) Culkin post in retort to Kimmie (aka #16 in this post) and began to doubt myself that this person was for real!

    Ha! turns out she’s eejit afterall!!

    Thank God! And thank the Heavens for all these wonderful stars that give us so much pleasure in our lives – they can be a bit silly sometimes but they just need to hang out with the nicer stars!!

    … ok – enough of the ‘Kimmie’ impressions!

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