Tara Reid hits Miami in her bikini

July 17th, 2006 // 103 Comments

  1. BoredStiff

    @47 You have way bigger worries than your computer.

  2. Kate&Tina

    48 & 49 – Touchy touchy!! What’s with the negativity – oh yeah that’s right most the people who come on this site are very sad, lonely, insecure people who have to dis other people to feel beta about themselves.

    Well go ahead, fire away if it heals the pain. It’s no skin off my nose. I find it fucken halirious!

  3. krisdylee

    Lamebananas, meet Kate&Tina,
    Kate&Tina, meet Lamebananas.

  4. bigponie

    could it be

    kate = MeganNoAss

    tina = lamepanoche

  5. krisdylee

    Yep, I feel much beta now. It IS fucken halirious…

  6. Kate&Tina

    Lambananas is my idol

  7. BoredStiff

    @52 While you are finding it “fucken halirious” you should try to find a dictionary as well

  8. Kate&Tina

    #57 – thanks to the spelling police. Honestly thank you. I just couldn’t live with myself for spelling a word wrong my day would have been ruined.

  9. BoredStiff

    @58 No problem. Now that we have the “spelling” issue covered, let’s start looking into the whole punctuation thing as well.

  10. bigponie

    #56 should read

    Lambananas is my idiot

    oh no, I just fed the troll

  11. hopeless_screenwriter

    @ 7 take a condom fill it with equal measurements of crisco, turtle wax and shoe goo, make sure you really pack it in there good (you’d be surprised how big you can get one of these things) then tie it. Squish it all around and you have your fake tit. If it doesn’t feel like a tit it is definitely squishy fun. Also, two of these baby’s mashed together is hours of fun.

    @ 10 Barbie dolls rule, esp. if you brush the hair up and down your genitalia then pull off the head and drop a load down the neck. Try this then ridicule if you dare.

    @ 14 Jane I know your grandma’s ass and it is perfect…. all nice and rough like dead elephant skin which is an incredible sensation on my shaved scrote as I ram her lubeless in her ‘jerky-hole’. If you have any of your grammy’s genotes I badly want to fuck you in the ass.

    I’m sorry if I seem a little harsh it’s just that I was raped a lot by my uncle Rob and I’m a bit fucked in the head.

  12. krisdylee

    56, that’s cuz you’re fucken reetarrded.

  13. hopeless_screenwriter

    Jane… I did laugh a the ‘Frankentits’ comments. That was AAAAA++++++.

  14. TrannyGranny

    61 Hopeless;

    Hey, rape is such an ugly word, I preferred to call it “violently penetrating every orifice on your body as you screamed and cried for help, but my sis, your mom, naaayveeeer came to help” Besides, you had it coming, parading around in that little cheerleader outfit….what?….oh….you were a cheerleader? Oops, my bad. Well, the bleeding eventually stopped, so quit whining.

  15. TrannyGranny

    Yo Kris;

    How’s the cunt today?

  16. hopeless_screenwriter

    @64 Tranny. I know for a fact that you are not my uncle Rob who is living happily in Kentucky with my family and all the others who dis-owned me for being a ummmm….. how should I put it best! For being a Tattle-Tale.

    A word of advice for all you children out there. When your dad’s favorite brother sticks his cock in your face, suck it and shut the fuck up, or live in the street, and suck dick to eat and drink, or drink and eat to suck dick; I can’t remember the exact sequence right now, but either way… your’re pretty much fucked.

    Truly yours,

  17. Fiona

    You can count in that ass and thighs all the Big Macs she’s been gobbling down.

  18. krisdylee

    Tranny: slippery, slightly on the tingly side since you asked, and absolutely scrumptious…

  19. Cat

    She needs to stop with the plastic surgery and start working out. Bitch got no muscle tone. Damn.

  20. She looks horrible…

    Note to anyone reading this: if you look like her, PLEASE do us ALL a huge favor… wear a one piece bathing suit and cover your ass up so the rest of us don’t get sick!!

    And whoever runs this blog, do something about hopeless_screenwriter. The language is a bit much….

  21. CruisingForCock


    Which words offended you? Was it cock, or suck, or dick, fuck, eat, brother, father? Or was it the combo?

    I’ve really run out of things to say about Tara.

  22. TrannyGranny


    For real, sorry for your personal tragedy. I am not kidding.

    The advice you gave was flat wrong, when ANY one rapes you, violates you, touches you in a way you don’t want……..Tell everyone. Tell the sheriffs dept. in the next county over, tell strangers. If your family is ok with “uncle” fucking you…your family deserves to go down with an accomplis charge. Period. Make the fuckers hurt. Forever. In prison. Sure, easy to write, you may say.

    70 Sarah Jean…….you worthless molly-coddled pig-shit filled cunt. The next time you deem to speak to your betters, think about taking the shit I just took in your mouth out. Cause It stinks. And I want to railroad your asshole with a frozen giant slug. And then make you eat it. You intestinal parasite living, not in an intestine, but rather right in your own mouth. You twat.

    It is easy to write. And, it is also easier to stand for yourself (although not at first) than it is to live with the “I am just a fuck-cushion for Anyone” philosophy. You are not worthless. You have every right to have a normal existance.

    And, I will tear you a new ass on another thread, just for the hell of it, cause that is what I do.

  23. TrannyGranny

    68 Kris;

    Damn, why are you married!

    Have a cuntilicious holiday, and when the cunt cunt’s, by all means cunt it all. Cause, cunt is cunt. Supercalicuntilicousexpeyalicuntous.

    71 Cruisin;

    Oooh, tell me more!

  24. Man, Tara Reid is so NOT

  25. CruisingForCock

    Tranny, I can’t say more until she (Sarah-Jean) responds. I don’t want offend her by talking about your cock or brother.

  26. TrannyGranny


    We can always talk about your genitalia if you are more comfortable? Just tryin to be helpful, you know. I am sure it will be a very tight, intimate conversation, discussing the slipperyness of world affairs and the general tastiness of hollywood. Perhaps even a slip of the tongue regarding how delicious it is to eat Itallian….for hours.


    so I hear, you know.

  27. Sir Psycho Sexy

    34. I hate to admit it, but the lametard is right.

    I’m not sure that Tara Reid is even the same species as Marisa Miller.

    Bitch needs to cover that shit up until she does a few thousand crunches, discovers sobriety, and fires Jacko’s plastic surgeon, …

  28. here

    Great great chick. She’s the apartment complex type ho’ making the rounds with the off-duty pigs, bouncers, bartenders, etc. Typically a secretary or a bank teller. Plenty of 2:00 AM drama, shitty music, and cigarette butts at her pad. On her cement slab patio, accessed by a sliding glass door, is a beat-up Weber for barbeques and some floaty things for the pool. Maybe a mini-trampoline is out there. Has a few choice words in the sack, eg. “Ba-by”. At the pool, drinks Zima’s or cheap wine-coolers and so forth. Has a cat or a small dog not properly house trained, and dying plants in hanging plastic planters. Plays Quarters and does Tequila body shots on the kitchen table. Full-on marriage material.

  29. Um, at what point does Tara Reid no longer qualify as a celebrity? ‘Cause if she’s not there yet, she’s got to be awfully close to oblivion.


  30. CruisingForCock

    You’re a dirty boy, Tranny. It’s what I love best about you.

  31. daveeech

    Future wannabe Surreal Life resident…at best.

  32. jrzmommy

    What’s going on with the head scarf? Is it Chemo-Chic?

  33. DevastatorX

    I bet that American Pie sequel is looking real good right now.

  34. Kim

    How can this girl afford to go on so many vacations? she hasn’t done anything since that horrible “show” on E! She can’t still be earning royalties form american pie either. I figured she would have drank away her fortune by now.

  35. digitalabia

    You fuckers are crazy. She is still cute and t
    and totally do-able. Sure she is a
    little skanky, but so what. If you
    met her on the street, you would
    date her.

  36. jrzmommy

    that’s just it…..she “dates” lots of people she meets on the street because SHE’S A WHORE!

  37. DancingQueen

    Wow, I have a better body than this chick and I’ve had two kids and I’m older than her. So THERE!

  38. superficialreader#879002

    #87 – I agree with you there.
    She’s so gone downhill. It’s a shame. When I first saw her, she was cute & had incredibly sparkly blue eyes. Now all I can see is flabby sad rolls, and a really bad boob job.

  39. IFuckingHateYou

    I need to put a bigger fence around my pool.
    I went out and called for my dogs last night:
    “Here Fat Bastard. Here Fucktard”
    Tara Reid, Sarah-Jean & MeganHarris all showed up and jumped in my pool, using lame-ass-bannana as a floaty.
    I called the cops and they hauled the stupid cunts away, but they warned me that I couldn’t drain my pool because of all the STD’s floating around in it, it wouldn’t be safe to introduce that to the sewer system.
    Any suggestions on how to dispose of this wretched water now?
    I really miss using my pool.

  40. tits_on_snack

    The thing about Tara Reid is that every podunk town has a Tara Reid, sometimes two or three Tara Reids. You see them standing outside gas stations smoking cigarettes and spitting on the ground, with scrunchies in their hair and way too much mascara. What I don’t understand is how this particular Tara Reid became famous.

  41. lisad71

    Let this be a lesson, boys. Take a good look at why condoms were invented and why you should use them.

  42. Queen LaQueefah

    Holy shitake, her ass looks like a melting pile of butter! Stop drinking, you alcohol-bloated trash bin! Why do bitches think just getting bigger titties fixes everything? I’ve impulsively reached for a pencil three times to poke my own eyes out, but I’ve stopped myself, since I kind of need ‘em.

    p.s. how does she earn money? Obviously she has nothing to do but get shit-faced and eat double bacon burgers, because she looks as if she’s naturally thin but let herself WAY go. I bet if she just worked out once a week she could improve on that busted-can-o-biscuits ass.

  43. #90 Tits on Snack….that is absolutly perfectly true!!! Excellent comment.

    The thing I love about Tara Reid is that she is such a warning about how all those young starlets can fuck up their carreers….and NONE of them will learn from her.

  44. pieceabolonga

    what is that AWFUL pink thing on her head? does she have hair loss problems as well? oh shit… maybe she has cancer… which i would excuse her for her appearance

  45. Monkey

    Ok, now this is a dorky question, but I’ll ask anyway: Has Tara had a baby at some point? Her belly is doing that accordian-thing that happens to lots of women who’ve had babies. I don’t think it doesn’t go away, even with nips and tucks.

    And let’s not be tooooo judgemental about the butt cellulite. I was all “whatever” and “I’ll never have cellulite” – until I turned 26. Now I have a little bit. *sigh* I hate me.

  46. Monkey

    Wait – I meant to say “I think it doesn’t go away” – referring to the accordian belly. Not, “I don’t think it doesn’t”… That would be weird.

  47. jrzmommy

    I think the headline should say, Tara Reid Hits Miami WITH Her Bikini….’cuz her keester is looking large.

  48. Sheva

    Tara used to be a thin cute Jersey girl.
    Now she’s a fake ballon titted drunken hag with an old lady’s cigerette voice.

    Oh yeah and she’s a drunken slut.

  49. FifiLaWhore

    You just KNOW that shes is peeing in the pool

  50. alaskanchicsickle

    @89 IFuckingHateYou, that was fucking hilarious. IFuckingLoveYou!

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