And thankfully they’re all out of focus.
Even though I’m willing to bet 99% of the Internet already forgot she got married just a few days ago – Thanks, whiskey. – here are pics from Tara Reid and Zack Kehayov‘s honeymoon where they posed for cutesy, self-taken couple shots before eventually writing their initials in the sand with her herpes scabs because Tara Reid is a filthy lump of Whore-Doh. A tender moment that taught this jaded blogger that, as my great grandfather used to say, “there’s a lid for every jar,” and sometimes that lid allows a incurable infection to lodge itself in your sex parts. (For the record, he didn’t say that last part, but then again I was two when he passed, and had such conversations relayed to me at a later date by third parties prone to censorship and revisionist tales. For all we know he could’ve spoken eloquently about the perils of tallywacker insertion and religious decorum deprived me of education from said follies which mayhaps informed me to recuse myself from fornication with unclean women, their infestations legion. - The Superficial Writer, August 17, 1864.)
Photos: Twitter
how many days until his dick falls off from infection?
Let’s use the word “tallywacker”. It is so much funnier.
I would have to imagine having sex with her would be the same as banging an Arby’s Beef ‘n Cheddar.
Naw, if you smash the sandwich down it’s much tighter.
I think that’s in the American Pie Reunion movie. Eugene Levy catches Jason Biggs fucking an Arby’s Beef ‘n Cheddar.
And the Cheddar looks like oozing herpes sores on his “tallywacker”
HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a visual that will stay with me the rest of the week. Well don NunyoBidnez!!! hahahahaha She looked hot in Van Wilder but posed way to much and the sexy look she tried to pull off was actually just stupid looking. Never been a fan, and will never be….Unless she has some amazing tricks to show us in her Vivid release (assuming she has one)
Funniest thread in a long time. Well played everyone.
Beef n’ Cheddar FTW!
Here was the spot where we first made love, on the dirty ground between the stripper pole and sewer grate.
I have the same ring. First I was angry, because I stared for a long time on the machine, I wanted it to be a jewing gum, but perhaps now I just keep for my big day :-)
They are one big Zit.
GOD, enough with the camel toes. That thing looks like it could really use a break
A break is not going to help that thing. That poon is broken like a pane of glass surrounded by a horde of retards with hammers.
I’d put that picture on my passport if I were her.
That 1st picture is as sexy as sexy get.
I do not get the hate Tara gets her way. I think she is hot as hell.
Some people will do anything for that US citizenship.
What’s a little bit of herpes compared to finally making it to the promised land?
Looks like a terrorist to me
Just as long as Tara keeps pouring shots into him I think he’s harmless.
Greece is a mess; is it any wonder he grabbed that drunken blonde ticket to the west?
lol deacon he looks like an iranian billy bob thornton
hmm, he’s got the same taste in women = nutjobs
WTF does ZT stand for, and why is it spelled out in crack cocaine?
ZIT?
Twitter about sums it up.
I got mine out of a Cracker Jack box.
Words With Friends – the Android version.
He looks like he is less than thrilled here, as if he is thinking, “oh shit! I’m starting to sober up now!” More drink, more drugs!”
He looks autistic.
It could stand to be a bit darker, blurrier and from farther away and then it would be a really great photo.
Hi Mom! Guess what!? I’m pregnant! YES! I know who the father is!
That looks like what I just pawned at the Pawn Shop!
She apparently doesn’t own a brush.
I liked her when she was partying on “Taradise” better.
And it was blatantly obvious she had just done coke because the next shot she was dead sober and just kept going to the camera “Like, oh my god. This place is crazy! oh my god.”
Couldn’t you have kept this for the crap we missed post later today? I really did not need this after lunch…
“Pat, I’d like to buy a vowel.”
Earnest comment:
Writing-wise, this has been the best day in years.
“If you’re hoping it’s going to be Junkyard Dog like I did, I’ve got some terrible news.”
“You can take that whore’s picture like it’s the goddamn antidote” etc.
And then the above.
I laughed today, Superficial writer.
I laughed.
this dude just made the biggest mistake of his life.
He gave her a ring pop?
So, desperate for attention?
Am I the only one who thought her knees were her boobs from the thumbnail? Hmm…does that say more about me as a person or her as a ball of clay?
I saw boob too. I think that means we’re normal.
He knew she’d say ‘yes’ if the center stone was actually polished crack cocaine.
when you’re shitfaced drunk, everything looks like a diamond…even a plastic mood ring.
LOL HAHAHA
If only that were truly an infinity pool. The idea of her falling, screaming in terror for all eternity gives me warm feelings of happiness and contentment.
HEY OLD LADY ENOUGH WITH THE GD BIKINIS IT’S ONE PIECE SUIT TIME GRANDMA!
“Melanoma, here I come!”
And the Anorexic hip bone award goes to…
Shouldn’t it be Z + T? What some GD morons.
her nose looks like a penis
omg tara married billy zane!!!!
yay tara!
Nah, its Joey Lawrence!
Just married a few minutes and she’s loaded drunk already ?? Dumb question, that …
why do celebs always marry gay males?
Tara a celeb? bwhahahahaha
These pictures beg the question: How does Tara fucking Reid afford to go to Greece and stay what look like a luxury hotel? Is being a coke-up whore really that lucrative?
Uh…her new husband has money? Ever consider that?
I’d give my left nut to hear her fart
I always enjoy a good bone.
zoloft and tequila.
Hopefully she will be sober sometime before she dies.
THANK GOD, her belly is as ugly as always!!
It’s a sobriety ring everyone! Nah…I’m kidding. Twist the top and voila’…gin!
Isn’t this Leann Rimes’ ex?
I always manage to brush my hair when I’m drunk/hungover, why can’t Tara?
Bet there’s cocaine in that ring
lol i saw tits as well
Tara Reid is soo sooo soooo hot!! She is so cute in the movie American Pie: http://www.plonki.com/film/american-pie,102505.html
I would die for her!
so basically, she is so cute 12 years ago…
All that sun and partying have certainly taken their toll on poor Tara’s face
I had one of those when I was little, it came with plastic heels.
Yes folks! Tara is off the market until next year. Who will her next husband be?