Tara Reid Tweeted Her Honeymoon Photos

August 17th, 2011 // 82 Comments

And thankfully they’re all out of focus.

Even though I’m willing to bet 99% of the Internet already forgot she got married just a few days ago – Thanks, whiskey. – here are pics from Tara Reid and Zack Kehayov‘s honeymoon where they posed for cutesy, self-taken couple shots before eventually writing their initials in the sand with her herpes scabs because Tara Reid is a filthy lump of Whore-Doh. A tender moment that taught this jaded blogger that, as my great grandfather used to say, “there’s a lid for every jar,” and sometimes that lid allows a incurable infection to lodge itself in your sex parts. (For the record, he didn’t say that last part, but then again I was two when he passed, and had such conversations relayed to me at a later date by third parties prone to censorship and revisionist tales. For all we know he could’ve spoken eloquently about the perils of tallywacker insertion and religious decorum deprived me of education from said follies which mayhaps informed me to recuse myself from fornication with unclean women, their infestations legion. - The Superficial Writer, August 17, 1864.)

Photos: Twitter

superficial

  1. Hugh Gentry

    how many days until his dick falls off from infection?

    • Cock Dr

      Let’s use the word “tallywacker”. It is so much funnier.

    • I would have to imagine having sex with her would be the same as banging an Arby’s Beef ‘n Cheddar.

      • Richard McBeef

        Naw, if you smash the sandwich down it’s much tighter.

      • TomFrank

        I think that’s in the American Pie Reunion movie. Eugene Levy catches Jason Biggs fucking an Arby’s Beef ‘n Cheddar.

      • Jimbo

        And the Cheddar looks like oozing herpes sores on his “tallywacker”

      • HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a visual that will stay with me the rest of the week. Well don NunyoBidnez!!! hahahahaha She looked hot in Van Wilder but posed way to much and the sexy look she tried to pull off was actually just stupid looking. Never been a fan, and will never be….Unless she has some amazing tricks to show us in her Vivid release (assuming she has one)

    • Funniest thread in a long time. Well played everyone.

      Beef n’ Cheddar FTW!

  2. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Trixie
    Commented on this photo:

    Here was the spot where we first made love, on the dirty ground between the stripper pole and sewer grate.

  3. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Commented on this photo:

    I have the same ring. First I was angry, because I stared for a long time on the machine, I wanted it to be a jewing gum, but perhaps now I just keep for my big day :-)

  4. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    My Left Nut
    Commented on this photo:

    They are one big Zit.

  5. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    RickyLong
    Commented on this photo:

    GOD, enough with the camel toes. That thing looks like it could really use a break

  6. I’d put that picture on my passport if I were her.

    • Just a California Guy

      That 1st picture is as sexy as sexy get.
      I do not get the hate Tara gets her way. I think she is hot as hell.

  7. Cock Dr

    Some people will do anything for that US citizenship.
    What’s a little bit of herpes compared to finally making it to the promised land?

  8. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    HEY HICK FUCK YOU!
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF does ZT stand for, and why is it spelled out in crack cocaine?

  9. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Commented on this photo:

    Twitter about sums it up.

  10. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I got mine out of a Cracker Jack box.

  11. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Commented on this photo:

    Words With Friends – the Android version.

  12. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Facebook Me
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he is less than thrilled here, as if he is thinking, “oh shit! I’m starting to sober up now!” More drink, more drugs!”

  13. PoorMaryKelly

    It could stand to be a bit darker, blurrier and from farther away and then it would be a really great photo.

  14. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Facebook Me
    Commented on this photo:

    Hi Mom! Guess what!? I’m pregnant! YES! I know who the father is!

  15. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Facebook Me
    Commented on this photo:

    That looks like what I just pawned at the Pawn Shop!

  16. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    ThighHighs
    Commented on this photo:

    She apparently doesn’t own a brush.

  17. Deacon Jones

    I liked her when she was partying on “Taradise” better.

    And it was blatantly obvious she had just done coke because the next shot she was dead sober and just kept going to the camera “Like, oh my god. This place is crazy! oh my god.”

  18. Jimbo

    Couldn’t you have kept this for the crap we missed post later today? I really did not need this after lunch…

  19. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pat, I’d like to buy a vowel.”

  20. Lorne Lorne

    Earnest comment:
    Writing-wise, this has been the best day in years.
    “If you’re hoping it’s going to be Junkyard Dog like I did, I’ve got some terrible news.”
    “You can take that whore’s picture like it’s the goddamn antidote” etc.
    And then the above.
    I laughed today, Superficial writer.
    I laughed.

  21. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    this dude just made the biggest mistake of his life.

  22. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    He gave her a ring pop?

  23. Fletch

    So, desperate for attention?

  24. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Gross
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only one who thought her knees were her boobs from the thumbnail? Hmm…does that say more about me as a person or her as a ball of clay?

  25. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Ono
    Commented on this photo:

    He knew she’d say ‘yes’ if the center stone was actually polished crack cocaine.

  26. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Commented on this photo:

    when you’re shitfaced drunk, everything looks like a diamond…even a plastic mood ring.

  27. If only that were truly an infinity pool. The idea of her falling, screaming in terror for all eternity gives me warm feelings of happiness and contentment.

  28. Hey Hick Fuck You!

    HEY OLD LADY ENOUGH WITH THE GD BIKINIS IT’S ONE PIECE SUIT TIME GRANDMA!

  29. kimmykimkim

    “Melanoma, here I come!”

  30. Kelce

    And the Anorexic hip bone award goes to…

  31. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Hey Hick Fuck You!
    Commented on this photo:

    Shouldn’t it be Z + T? What some GD morons.

  32. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    ktulu
    Commented on this photo:

    her nose looks like a penis

  33. zomgbie

    omg tara married billy zane!!!!
    yay tara!

  34. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Jack Ketch
    Commented on this photo:

    Just married a few minutes and she’s loaded drunk already ?? Dumb question, that …

  35. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    SuperficialAdmin
    Commented on this photo:

    why do celebs always marry gay males?

  36. TheDevilYouKnow

    These pictures beg the question: How does Tara fucking Reid afford to go to Greece and stay what look like a luxury hotel? Is being a coke-up whore really that lucrative?

  37. Board Certified Prevert

    I’d give my left nut to hear her fart

  38. welldoneson

    I always enjoy a good bone.

  39. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    renee
    Commented on this photo:

    zoloft and tequila.

  40. tlmck

    Hopefully she will be sober sometime before she dies.

  41. forrest gump

    THANK GOD, her belly is as ugly as always!!

  42. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a sobriety ring everyone! Nah…I’m kidding. Twist the top and voila’…gin!

  43. Jessesgirl

    Isn’t this Leann Rimes’ ex?

  44. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Jessesgirl
    Commented on this photo:

    I always manage to brush my hair when I’m drunk/hungover, why can’t Tara?

  45. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    Jessesgirl
    Commented on this photo:

    Bet there’s cocaine in that ring

  46. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    dude
    Commented on this photo:

    lol i saw tits as well

  47. briandb82

    Tara Reid is soo sooo soooo hot!! She is so cute in the movie American Pie: http://www.plonki.com/film/american-pie,102505.html

    I would die for her!

  48. Vomvoms

    All that sun and partying have certainly taken their toll on poor Tara’s face

  49. Tara Reid Bikini Honeymoon Zack Kehayov
    StayPuft Overlord
    Commented on this photo:

    I had one of those when I was little, it came with plastic heels.

  50. Yes folks! Tara is off the market until next year. Who will her next husband be?

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