Tara Reid Thinks Whales Have Sex With Sharks To Make Whale Sharks

August 7th, 2013 // 41 Comments
Tara Reid Shark Week
WATCH: Tara Reid Tries To Explain Whale Sharks

Tara Reid is in Sharknado, so that basically makes her a marine biologist, thought the producers of Shark After Dark on The Discovery Channel because here she is on last night’s episode explaining where whale sharks come from. And keep in mind, this is after what Tara Reid considers research, so she doesn’t sound “like really stupid.” Long story short, she thinks whales are going around fucking sharks creating whale sharks which is ridiculous because they’ll be no match for my army of man-ducks. They’re wasting their time.

Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News, WENN

superficial

  1. joe

    She studied under Professor Jessica “Buffalo Wings” Simpson.

  2. so wait- ur saying whalesharks dont come from whales and sharks getting together and making babies?

  3. Kodos

    WHALE SHARK WARS WEEK!!

    .. gonna be epic.

  4. Jack Ketch

    Lord ALMIGHTY … Medic?!! Medic?!! I lasted about 12 seconds into this. Yikes. Worse than Kelly Pickler, who thinks that Europe is a “country” and didn’t know that Hungary was. *crosses eyes and utters a heavy, heavy sigh*

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cey35bBWXls

    • Whales are “mammals” – but, see, sharks are “animals”.

      I would love to be there when someone tells her how mules are made, but I’m afraid I’d get splashed when her head exploded.

      • Brooke

        My favorite part was when she paused because she could not figure out what a shark was, and then went with “animals” because I guess whales are not animals somehow. If she cannot look at a shark and go “that’s a fish”, she cannot be allowed to breed. Unless it is with a hammerhead.

      • She definitely choked on “fish”, so my guess is that she blew most of her fuses with “mammal”. I definitely agree with limiting her ability to breed with a hammerhead, but I do think that a ball peen or claw should also be considered.

  5. Deacon Jones

    Major flashback to my “hard partying” days…..still up at 530 AM trying to act interested in what some tramp was talking about as I cut up another 2 lines of blow….YEESH!

    Painful listening to her talk.

  6. I wonder where she thinks french fries come from. Where the hell did she do her research… Uncyclopedia?

  7. Somehow though, I bet if you asked her how many grams in an ounce, she’d nail it to 3 decimal places.

  8. Cats = sex with fish = catfish. Mystery solved.

  9. Turd Ferguson

    Hell even I know this is false. I’ve had sex many times with a whale, but there were never any offspring afterwards, just bad Busch hangovers.

  10. Bynes

    She does look good though.

  11. Pat C.

    Actually, I thought she said that was her impression before she “did the research” i.e. the first time she saw the term “whale shark”. Of course, I’m guessing normal people have heard about whale sharks by the time they were 12.

    Coming after that Britney post …

  12. But a shark still had sex with mud to make Kim Kardashian, correct?

    • eh

      No, that’s how Kris Jenner was made. Kim was made by Kris Jenner mating with a red assed baboon. Didn’t you go to college?

  13. In her defense, North West has just been born, which probably led her to believe that whales can indeed crossbreed.

  14. Nobody ever hired her or fucked her because of her brains.

  15. The expression on Josh Wolf’s face says it all.

  16. She’ll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.

  17. Yeah

    She’s pushing 40.
    How the HELL is she (and Lindsay Lohan) still alive?!?!?

  18. Well that’s not actually what she said…she doesn’t make a lot of sense and says quiite a few stupid things, but she doesn’t actually say that whale sharks are born from when sharks and whales have sex.

    • emma watson's vagina

      Yep. but the thing that caused everyone to go WTF was when she said she first heard of whale shark. she immediately thought a whale and a shark crossbred . after that it went downhill.

  19. Deina

    My good God almighty, I didn’t know there were people that stupid in the world…

  20. Your army of man-ducks will be no match for Kirk Cameron’s army of crocoducks.

  21. merah

    Ian Ziering is just like “what am I doing with my life.”

  22. Big Deal. What I want to know is how they worked out the logistics with Tiger Sharks.

  23. Martin Beckthefirst

    she is just formulating her character for the show . I thought she did a great job .

  24. Martin Beckthefirst

    But most importantly , can she deliver proper Felecia?

  25. JT

    Who ever was doing this writing must’ve been on drugs too.

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