Tan Mom Wants To Do Playboy Now. I Swear To God, Hugh Hefner….

May 14th, 2012 // 65 Comments
Tan Mom Vs. Octomom
Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
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Just… goddammit, New Jersey.

If there’s anything this great country of ours has taught us, it’s that any type of publicity, even from reckless child endangerment, will immediately turn you into a celebrity who thinks she has a shot at Playboy which you will then immediately reject and/or be open to considering without the offer ever being on the table. Or in Tan Mom‘s case, start auditioning right out of the gate and presumably demand payment in tans. TMZ reports:

Yes, Tanning Mom says she’s willing to flaunt her sizzlin’ hot body for Playboy … if only they would ask. She’s even been practicing her sexy poses.
But if a clothed Tanning Mom is more your speed … you’re in luck — TMZ says she’s been approached by multiple people interested in featuring her on a reality show.

Of course, she’ll get a reality show. Destroying kids is awesome TV. In the meantime, have we settled on Tanning Mom now instead of Tan Mom? Because I was kind of hoping we’d start calling her the more Internet-friendly Bacon Mom. Or even better, Bacon Cat Pictures Porn Mom. (I’m trying to buy a speedboat.)

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. JustWondering

    That fatass Christy is responsible for this trash.

  2. USDA Prime McBeef

    People are approaching her about a reality show? I guess the “How It’s Made” people are doing a cancer episode.

  3. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    This woman is the epitome of ‘ridden hard and put away wet’.

    • You’re assuming that said hard rider cared enough about her to put her away in the first place, rather than abandoning her at the side of the road.

      Bad assumption.

  4. SaraDevil

    Just when you thought no one could make Tara Reid look hot again.

  5. Well, if Playboy pays her to show her tits, it will be the most money anyone’s ever spent on two leather bags.

  6. Are you kidding me? This woman makes ugly people look good.

  7. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    sad part is she’s probably only 20, 25

  8. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Mickey01232000
    Commented on this photo:

    Does Playboy have an Oompah Loompah version?

  9. mismy

    Same dress as the post from earlier… She’s good at accessorizing too :/
    Scary, delusional bitch, if you’re reading this: Pleeeease no nudity!!!!!!!!

  10. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Quijibo
    Commented on this photo:

    That purple thing is pretty hot.

  11. She likes to tan. Let’s send her to the sun. Problem solved.

  12. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    I see the Anja Rubik thing is catching on….unfortunately.

  13. I’m going to go stare at the sun and “tan” the vision from my eyes.

  14. JustWondering

    You know those leather flaps welders wear on thier shoes. I imaging that is what the phot shoot will look like.

  15. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Lady, nobody’s gonna buy those goods if you keep offering them up for free. (please put the fucking skirt down.)

  16. Somewhere a long-haul trucker has dreams she needs to fulfill.

  17. SiliconeFree

    Only in America are you celebrated for being a fucking idiot. Of course they will make a show about her b.c the other fucking morons in our society will actually watch it. No wonder terrorists hate us.

  18. Johnny P!

    Sure, why not?
    A full makeover, soft focus, lots of Photoshop airbrushing…
    They’ve never had a crispy strip of bacon as a centerfold before…

  19. Dufresne

    She’ll be out and about with Kim Kardashian in no time……

  20. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Greenman
    Commented on this photo:

    thats not a woman. i don’t know what that is but its not human

  21. metoo

    Jeff Conaway reincarnate….

  22. Forget about going door to door to root out the illegal immigrants, we need to go door to door to root out the idiots.

  23. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh cwap, my teeph phell ow!”

  24. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope she puts her Mother of the Year flowers someplace where the neighbors can see and enjoy them with her.

  25. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ovah derr is where I leff mah dignuhtee.”

  26. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    “Officer! That’s the man that put me in the recycling dumpster with all the other cardboard!”

  27. Lolzzz

    She looks like a baboon’s ass. I wish I were that delusional about my looks.

  28. Archie Leach

    What happened to the old days when the complaint was that television shows like Charlies Angels and Three’s Company would bring on the end of America?

  29. zomgbie

    playboy magazine or pleather magazine.

  30. Lolno

    You guys are making her famous, so stop talking about her.

  31. Excuse me, did you say “10:15 to Nutley”?
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/14/Petunia-125_220.png[/img]

  32. She lives in “Nutley” NJ?

  33. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    yup, that's the one
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, that’s the same exact look on our faces too when we see YOU!

  34. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Unbelievable
    Commented on this photo:

    Just when we thought she couldn’t get any uglier we get to see now that she has mangled toes too! Literally from head to toe, gross, gross, gross!

  35. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Tillman
    Commented on this photo:

    Suddenly Lindsay Lohan seems charming, erudite and stunningly beautiful. Guess it’s time for the Human Race to call it a day.

  36. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    LUVDVE1025
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, I can point & look just like the scarecrow from the Wizard Of Oz too!

  37. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Unbelievable
    Commented on this photo:

    Those poor kids have to be handled with those claws :( sad for the kids.

  38. Let me guess, another eccentric rocket scientist?

  39. Mr. Richie Richman

    Can you libtard men keep your ugly libtard women to yourselves? She is really freaking ugly.

  40. DusktillDawn

    “Sizzling hot”? Like in BBQ, right?

  41. Gill

    please go away you sad sake of a women

  42. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    sixdollarman
    Commented on this photo:

    Gah! That’s HORRIFYING.

    Let’s see…. funnel? Check… trepan? Check… bleach….??

  43. Brian Glubok

    I’d still bang the brainless, blonde, bronzed bimbo. If I put a bag over her head first.

  44. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    She is in an Alcohol induced Frame of Body, not Mind…its not Red Bull, its what is in the Red Bull…she could Collapse or Elapse into a Tanning Induced Coma

  45. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    Quick Run….it is the Leather Neck, no Not Marine Leather Necks, and she is carrying a Gucci Diaper Bag, for her Depends and Tanning Lotion

  46. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh Great !!!, Now she is Directing Traffic, well she is not French

  47. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    Look Sasquatch….is Coming !!!!, I better hide as I am Mrs. Sasquatch, females are smaller

  48. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel sorry for the Husband, he is sooooo white and gets to sleep with her…I guess he is her Night Light after Dark…awww like a Night in Shinning Armour…I am sure he wears something protective when he gets in bed with her.

  49. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    She is Tipsy, she puts her hand out to catch herself from falling as she staggers around the car…the little boy is trying to run…I hope he was fast enough

  50. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil Pulls Up Skirt Underwear
    Commented on this photo:

    Her right arm is having a Muscle Spasm or Withdrawals or severe case of rheumatoid arthritis

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