Just… goddammit, New Jersey.
If there’s anything this great country of ours has taught us, it’s that any type of publicity, even from reckless child endangerment, will immediately turn you into a celebrity who thinks she has a shot at Playboy which you will then immediately reject and/or be open to considering without the offer ever being on the table. Or in Tan Mom‘s case, start auditioning right out of the gate and presumably demand payment in tans. TMZ reports:
Yes, Tanning Mom says she’s willing to flaunt her sizzlin’ hot body for Playboy … if only they would ask. She’s even been practicing her sexy poses.
But if a clothed Tanning Mom is more your speed … you’re in luck — TMZ says she’s been approached by multiple people interested in featuring her on a reality show.
Of course, she’ll get a reality show. Destroying kids is awesome TV. In the meantime, have we settled on Tanning Mom now instead of Tan Mom? Because I was kind of hoping we’d start calling her the more Internet-friendly Bacon Mom. Or even better, Bacon Cat Pictures Porn Mom. (I’m trying to buy a speedboat.)
Photos: INFdaily, Splash News
That fatass Christy is responsible for this trash.
Because this kind of trash didn’t exist in NJ before Christie took office, right?
RIGHT! Republicans ruin EVERYTHING!
I thought it was just Bush?
People are approaching her about a reality show? I guess the “How It’s Made” people are doing a cancer episode.
This woman is the epitome of ‘ridden hard and put away wet’.
You’re assuming that said hard rider cared enough about her to put her away in the first place, rather than abandoning her at the side of the road.
Bad assumption.
Just when you thought no one could make Tara Reid look hot again.
Well, if Playboy pays her to show her tits, it will be the most money anyone’s ever spent on two leather bags.
I swear I posted this before I saw your latest tweet!
TomFrank follows twitter. hahahah heheee hehe haa hahahha
So I have Fish’s Twitter page open in another window. BFD.
Are you kidding me? This woman makes ugly people look good.
sad part is she’s probably only 20, 25
In dog years, you mean.
Does Playboy have an Oompah Loompah version?
Same dress as the post from earlier… She’s good at accessorizing too :/
Scary, delusional bitch, if you’re reading this: Pleeeease no nudity!!!!!!!!
That purple thing is pretty hot.
She likes to tan. Let’s send her to the sun. Problem solved.
I see the Anja Rubik thing is catching on….unfortunately.
Anja Rubik? Oh, yes—her flesh does resemble cubed steak.
I’m going to go stare at the sun and “tan” the vision from my eyes.
You know those leather flaps welders wear on thier shoes. I imaging that is what the phot shoot will look like.
Lady, nobody’s gonna buy those goods if you keep offering them up for free. (please put the fucking skirt down.)
Somewhere a long-haul trucker has dreams she needs to fulfill.
Only in America are you celebrated for being a fucking idiot. Of course they will make a show about her b.c the other fucking morons in our society will actually watch it. No wonder terrorists hate us.
Sure, why not?
A full makeover, soft focus, lots of Photoshop airbrushing…
They’ve never had a crispy strip of bacon as a centerfold before…
I definitely don’t want to see her “crispy strip of bacon”.
She’ll be out and about with Kim Kardashian in no time……
thats not a woman. i don’t know what that is but its not human
Jeff Conaway reincarnate….
Forget about going door to door to root out the illegal immigrants, we need to go door to door to root out the idiots.
“Oh cwap, my teeph phell ow!”
I hope she puts her Mother of the Year flowers someplace where the neighbors can see and enjoy them with her.
“Ovah derr is where I leff mah dignuhtee.”
“Officer! That’s the man that put me in the recycling dumpster with all the other cardboard!”
She looks like a baboon’s ass. I wish I were that delusional about my looks.
What happened to the old days when the complaint was that television shows like Charlies Angels and Three’s Company would bring on the end of America?
playboy magazine or pleather magazine.
You guys are making her famous, so stop talking about her.
Excuse me, did you say “10:15 to Nutley”?
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/14/Petunia-125_220.png[/img]
She lives in “Nutley” NJ?
Is there irony here?
Hey, that’s the same exact look on our faces too when we see YOU!
Just when we thought she couldn’t get any uglier we get to see now that she has mangled toes too! Literally from head to toe, gross, gross, gross!
Suddenly Lindsay Lohan seems charming, erudite and stunningly beautiful. Guess it’s time for the Human Race to call it a day.
Yeah, I can point & look just like the scarecrow from the Wizard Of Oz too!
Those poor kids have to be handled with those claws :( sad for the kids.
Let me guess, another eccentric rocket scientist?
Can you libtard men keep your ugly libtard women to yourselves? She is really freaking ugly.
“Sizzling hot”? Like in BBQ, right?
please go away you sad sake of a women
Gah! That’s HORRIFYING.
Let’s see…. funnel? Check… trepan? Check… bleach….??
I’d still bang the brainless, blonde, bronzed bimbo. If I put a bag over her head first.
She is in an Alcohol induced Frame of Body, not Mind…its not Red Bull, its what is in the Red Bull…she could Collapse or Elapse into a Tanning Induced Coma
Quick Run….it is the Leather Neck, no Not Marine Leather Necks, and she is carrying a Gucci Diaper Bag, for her Depends and Tanning Lotion
Oh Great !!!, Now she is Directing Traffic, well she is not French
Look Sasquatch….is Coming !!!!, I better hide as I am Mrs. Sasquatch, females are smaller
I feel sorry for the Husband, he is sooooo white and gets to sleep with her…I guess he is her Night Light after Dark…awww like a Night in Shinning Armour…I am sure he wears something protective when he gets in bed with her.
She is Tipsy, she puts her hand out to catch herself from falling as she staggers around the car…the little boy is trying to run…I hope he was fast enough
Her right arm is having a Muscle Spasm or Withdrawals or severe case of rheumatoid arthritis