Tamara Mellon topless

December 21st, 2009 // 72 Comments

Here’s Jimmy Choo president and Christian Slater’s ex-girlfirend Tamara Mellon sunbathing topless in St. Barth’s yesterday. For those of you too young to even know what a Christian Slater is, let me see if I can explain him: Long ago, in the days before Lindsay Lohan hit puberty, Robert Downey Jr. and Charlie Sheen needed help making sure all the cocaine in Hollywood didn’t go to waste…

Pics link to NSFW versions of the weirdest looking breast I’ve ever seen.

Photos: Fame, Splash News

  1. loser


  2. chris








  6. jeff

    4th! and those are some busted tits…

  7. Zimmy

    Ouch!!! Did a great white shark take a bite in pic #2?
    That’s some bargain basement plastic surge if you ask me.

  8. Mrs. Parker

    “You’ll shoot your eye out! You’ll shoot your eye out, Ralphie!”

  9. Rough4life

    Babygirl got more ripple than Coney Island during a nor easter… Mellon? I think not…

  10. Fat Foot

    Those tits (pic # 2) look like an old orange that I found behind my refrigerator. It must have fell behind it about 4 months ago. It was dry and all the juice was sucked out of it from age.

  11. Hate_Fake_Titts

    It seems like those implants were something scrapped out of the bargin bin at adultworld.

    Perhaps she should go for upgrades, perhaps ones that actually have filling?

  12. Taz

    fake tits suck

  13. Sport

    Definitely not my favorite Mellons, Tamara…

  14. Tad Bit Tipsy

    Definitely antique boob job, ladies remember to update you chassis every ten years or so. Those have got to be from 80′s yo. Look how they crinkle up like a floating device, he he. Otherwise, she’s still good looking for an older woman.

  15. MonkeyMan777

    Whoa! How old is this broad?

  16. Hoax & Chan$e

    All that is missing is the big bone in her nose and the tat that identifies her as Oonfoofoo.
    Just damn.

  17. Fas(c)h(ion)ist(a)

    Those are some nasty-ass implants, AND she recently had a biopsy.

  18. Drew

    Whatever. I’d still motorboat those ugly pieces of shit. So would all of you.

  19. timmy the dying boy

    There you go. Shows you can’t be certain of what might be lurking in a bikini top.

  20. J

    I sudenly have the urge to go hit a boxing speed bag.

  21. Nameless

    Some pap photographer must be really good at recognizing famous yet obscure people. How the hell does recognize her out there in St. Barth’s without Christian Slater standing next to her?

  22. Buddha

    terrible implants/all ripply, and what a nightmare place for the incision ( scar)
    With all her $ you would think she could get a decent job…hmm

  23. Mama Pinkus

    she’s got implants in the wrong place; she should have tried to correct her man ass

  24. Babel

    #10 LOL , Love your commebt-it’s so funny!!! An old orange behind a refridgerator is exactly what they look like ..hahahahahah

  25. Neen

    I nannied for her daughter Minty on a yacht in Sardinia.

  26. streak9381

    LMAO to all the comments here.

  27. She’s 42. She looks fine. I like how all the comments about fran drescher were all “omg she looks fine” and already all the comments here are seriously negative. more sexy pictures click the link above~~~

  28. WTF

    Why would you pay to get fake boobs that small?

  29. JDM

    Oh, my gosh that 2nd picture is ugly! Repulsive, in fact.

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  31. She has a beautiful body and looks really gorgeous. The pics are awesome:)

  32. i <3 old, deflated implants

  33. Jane

    Maybe she has breast cancer. Wouldn’t you all regret those ‘old orange’ comments then, huh?

  34. constant

    There’s a scene in The Devil’s Advocate where they are out shopping and Charlize Theron sees her neighbour’s breast ripple as if a hand is moving under her skin.. just like the first pic!

  35. Hugh Gentry

    wow…my cock and balls are now inverted. Wonky ass and funky fake tits make me the opposite of horny…..what’s the word I’m looking for?

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  37. Phil says, "huh?"

    #35. Rocking a Bob Dole?

  38. Lookin’ fine! See, it’s genetics, not age. You’ve either got it or you don’t.

    Comes down to this:

    It’s not how old you are


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  40. Mandy

    Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met at __Sugarcupid @ c o m__a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

  41. Bleach

    Her breast looks like some demon is grabbing it……like in that movie “The Entitiy”……gross *puke*

  42. I read that she’s 42 yrs old.

    Looks pretty beat up. Being naked in the sun between 10 and 4 probably isn’t helping that.

  43. Boogeyman King Dong

    Yikes! Who’s she?!

  44. Nero

    Is this Gollum’s gf?!

  45. His Huge Greatness Himself

    My father,let this cup pass away from me.

  46. ok is this the first time?

  47. Ari Ola

    Amazing nipples!!!

  48. Jess

    Those ripples are the result of an old breast implant. Normal breast tissue does not ripple like that.

  49. who? why do I care? I’d hit it but why do I care who she is? some broad that was dating a cobbler. BFD

  50. Girl

    SICK I want to cry at the sight of that poor breast. This is why I will never get implants. After you rotate out the old ones and stick in new ones a few times, this is what happens. Nasty bumpy boobies. I’m happy with my perky, real B’s! Plus I don’t have to deal with guys talking to my chest…

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