Xander Dane


More Xander Dane stories

Bobby Flay Had Sex With January Jones On The Reg, According To Wife

January Jones and Bobby Flay reportedly had sex many times while he was still married to Stephanie March in 2010. … More »

This Is January Jones At 9-Years-Old

Because little boys are easily fooled by candy or people with weird noses who own their own amusement parks, they have no idea why making fun of their classmates’ appearance is stupid because here’s January Jones at nine years old who, iciness aside, grew up to be pretty fucking hot. But that’s not the amazing… More »

‘Well, In Whoville They Say That The Grinch’s Small Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day’

“This shouldn’t be the only time I get to see my son.”
“Just smile and take the picture, you red fuck.”

Here’s January Jones taking Xander to see Santa Claus yesterday where I’m fully prepared to be the only who enjoys the juxtaposition of her face with Santa and outside where she… More »

And Now A Mother/Son Moment With January Jones And Spite Baby Xander

“Dammit. Could’ve sworn the drop would’ve killed him. *sigh* Let’s go…”

What? Don’t tell me I’m the only one who laughs hysterically at how visibly January Jones hates her kid. — So this post is just for me then? Well, fine, I DON’T NEED YOU. *looks at ad revenue* Baby, I can change… More »

BREAKING: January Jones Holds Child In Public, Exhibits Joy At Its Presence

Programming Note: So since we launched our new comment threads until right about now, our galleries decided to wonk out a tad, slightly delaying this post and The Crap We Missed which we’re now posting for your perusal because pageviews put diamonds in Daddy’s cereal. So here’s a few hours late/almost completely pointless gallery of… More »

January Jones’ Parents Don’t Know The Kid’s A Bastard, Do They? Awkward

I meant to post these earlier in the week, but I’ve still been in a state of shock after learning January Jones has actual parents and wasn’t chiseled from a glacier. Anyway, here are the Joneses spending time with their new little grandson Xander Dane over the holiday weekend where they had the incredible pleasure… More »

January Jones Is Too Beautiful To Carry Her Baby

Action-packed day, I know.

Here’s January Jones taking her son Xander for his two month check-up, although you wouldn’t know it because she makes the nanny carry the baby ten feet behind her at all times lest someone actually thinks the little bastard is hers. No, no, she’s far too beautiful for that. More »

Ashton Kutcher Knocked Up January Jones. Here We Go…

According to Hollywood Life, an Internet rumor is going around suggesting Ashton Kutcher is the father of his ex January Jones’ baby because it’s pretty much a given at this point he either hates Demi Moore’s vagina or it’s officially morphed into a Sarlacc pit as they are wont to do over time. Anyway, let… More »

January Jones Looks Like This Already

If you thought to yourself, surely January Jones’s body will pay the price for her adultery and carrying a bastard child to term, clearly you missed all those pics of her doing 25 hours of yoga every single day along with pretty much every post on this site that proves God doesn’t exist. So here’s… More »

January Jones Might Have Named Xander After His Father

Astute, sexual panther-like reader TomFrank made the following observation in the comments after January Jones named her illegitimate son Xander Dane who is allegedly the result of an affair with a married man on the set of X-Men: First Class. Except it turns out that last part might have been a tad off:

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