X-Men: First Class

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January Jones Birthed Her Bastard

After five years, by my count, January Jones has finally birthed her illegitimate child forged in a hotbed of adultery and whatever you call stuff (theoretically) behind Claudia Schiffer’s back. People reports:

Mad Men star January Jones, 33, welcomed her first child on Tuesday, her rep confirms to PEOPLE.
Son Xander Danes… More »


‘X-Men: First Class’ is on DVD, If Only Someone Handsome Wrote A Review…

“I’m the father? What does that even me- Aw, fuck.”

X-Men: First Class hit DVD/Blu-ray/OnDemand/Live Puppet Theater in My Basement today, so for those of you wondering if you should waste two hours and 12 minutes of your time giving it a whirl this weekend, Daddy’s gotcha covered:

They Should’ve CalledMore »


Damon Lindelof Regrets Telling The Truth About January Jones

(Trivia: If you look carefully at her cameltoe, you’ll see the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42.)

Thanks to a painfully slow news day, Lost creator Damon Lindelof’s tweet regarding January Jones’ acting in X-Men: First Class, or lack thereof to be exact, spread like wildfire yesterday prompting him to issue… More »



Damon Lindelof: ‘January Jones Can’t Act’

“I’d be so angry right now if I were capable of human emotion.”

Lost creator Damon Lindelof has officially joined the distinguished ranks of Ashton Kutcher and myself – Wait, what? I want out. Let me out! She can act! OH, GOD, LET ME OUT! – and tweeted his opinion of January JonesMore »


They Should’ve Called It ‘Boob Diamond.’
A Review of ‘X-Men: First Class’

[Short Version: This happens a lot. The End.]

Welcome to The Superficial review of X-Men: First Class which I might have said would be “dorkishly, tit-free” ala the Thor review, but that was before I knew January Jones’ cleavage is the diamondy heart that holds this movie together in spite of her acting… More »


January Jones Probably Has Matthew Vaughn’s Baby in Her (UPDATE: Or Not.)

It’s starting to become more and more likely that X-Men: First Class director Matthew Vaughn cheated on his wife Claudia Schiffer by sticking a baby in January Jones who kept it for reasons we’re still not sure of, but early speculation points to she’s a bitch. Anyway, apparently Matthew and Claudia bailed on a Beverly… More »



January Jones Looks Like Hell

Here’s January Jones doing her best Darryl Hannah on drugs impression at the premiere “cast screening” of X-Men: First Class last night, and I swear to God, I don’t even know why she was invited. It’s like she’s trying to torpedo the entire movie. If she’s not awkwardly showing up to promotional events with the… More »


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