Posts tagged "Vinny Guadagnino"

The 2013 MTV Movie Awards

The 2013 MTV Movie Awards were last night and literally all you need to know is Selena Gomez looked phenomenal/was the only one from Spring Breakers who showed up while Jennifer Lawrence‘s breasts didn’t even bother, Melanie Iglesias suddenly became important, Snooki and JWoww looked like goddamn wax monsters, and everyone’s supposed to believe Aubrey

By: The Superficial / April 15, 2013

MTV Cancelled ‘Jersey Shore’

You might say they jet-packed the shark. — I’ll go kill myself now.

Speaking of New Jersey being the pride of America, MTV has finally decided to pull the plug on Jersey Shore which is really the only acceptable response to one of these kids successfully reproducing that doesn’t involve a shotgun and…

By: The Superficial / August 30, 2012

Public Service Announcement: Herpes is Airborne Now. Repeat. Herpes is Airborne Now.

“And so, gentlemen, what I propose is this: We take young men and women of ill repute who have over time acquired a myriad of diseases transmitted from intercourse, adorn them in provocative swimwear so as to be pleasing to the eye and then give them all jetpacks. From there, America’s shores will crumble paving

By: The Superficial / June 25, 2012

Deena Cortese Won’t Stop Wearing Bikinis And Other News

- Chivettes Bored At Work still won’t make me want to work in an office. But good effort. [theCHIVE]

- Prince William is 30 now which just made a bunch of people feel really old. [Lainey Gossip]

- 21 Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity (Needs more Kate Upton.)…

By: The Superficial / June 21, 2012

Why No One On ‘Jersey Shore’ Should Even Look At A Baby, Let Alone Shart One Out Their Ewok Hole

Via E! News:

Vinny joked that he wants to turn the house’s “smush room” into a baby room for Snooki and Jionni’s future child.

VINNY: ‘Ey, yo, Snook. Remember dat room I got da crabs in? We put a crib in it! OOOOOOOOOOH.
SNOOKI: Aw, for real, you guys? That’…

By: The Superficial / March 15, 2012

At Least Four Dudes Could’ve Been The Father of Snooki’s Baby

Even though we now know Snooki isn’t pregnant and can stop bracing for the apocalypse, I felt it was important to point out that at least four different dudes could’ve potentially been the father, so just call me Captain Obvious. Hollywood Life reports:

Snooki’s ex-boyfriend Emilio Masella tells HollywoodLife.com exclusively that if Snooki…

By: The Superficial / February 1, 2012

VMAS: All This Should’ve Died In The Hurricane, But Noooooooo

To further emphasize the fact it hasn’t showed music videos in over a decade yet still give out awards for them because its viewers just want to stare at moving pictures of anything, literally anything, MTV not only invited the cast of Jersey Shore (Minus The Situation who’s apparently going to shit into the hand…

By: The Superficial / August 28, 2011

UPDATE: The Situation Just Quit ‘Jersey Shore’

And the Baby Gap just got itself a new T-shirt model.

According to several photo agencies, these are apparently shots of The Situation storming off the set of Jersey Shore Wednesday afternoon and telling photographers, “It’s over,” and “Say goodbye to the bad guy.” Unlike when Vinny quit, producers haven’t immediately sold a…

By: The Superficial / July 7, 2011

So The Chubby One Has a Huge Wang

And I’m not talking about Snooki. Zing!

Jersey Shore’s Vinny Guadagnino – I know these kids’ last names now. Goddammit. – is currently being courted by Playgirl to be the mold for their latest sex toy because apparently it’s easier than just dipping a lighthouse statue in rubber. Hey, it worked for grandma,…

By: The Superficial / September 22, 2010

They all get girlfriends.

Should I have said Spoiler Alert?

Here’s Pauly D and Vinny of Jersey Shore posing with their “girlfriends” in Miami because apparently MTV’s going to shoehorn in a storyline that doesn’t involve these kids forgetting what their nicknames are and/or drunkenly banging Cuban immigrants as they wash ashore. “I’m pretty sure I’m Cannoli…

By: The Superficial / May 17, 2010

Jersey Shore needs more homoeroticism

Here’s the dudes from Jersey Shore tanning in Miami yesterday and proving how much they love pussy by getting naked and flexing in front of each other. Which makes all kinds of sense once you remember syphilis affects the mind. On that note, MTV clearly forgot to give one of them his steroids and…

By: The Superficial / April 7, 2010