Posts tagged "Video Games"

Paula Deen’s Video Game Will Melt Your Mind Into Buttah, Sugah

Paula Deen has a video game, and the trailer will fry your brain like a goddamn egg.
By: The Superficial / March 17, 2015

What Stupid Shit Did Kanye Say Now?

Kanye is designing a video game about his mom's journey into heaven and claims Beyonce keeps photo of Kim Kardashian in the studio for inspiration.
By: The Superficial / February 24, 2015

Kate Upton’s Breasts Shill Free-To-Play Games Now

Last week's South Park episode amazingly shit all over freemium games as it should. Except here are Kate Upton's bouncing breasts telling me to play one which I'm probably going to do because the sole purpose of a penis is to bankrupt and ultimately kill whoever it's attached to.
By: The Superficial / November 14, 2014

Emily Ratajkowski Will Sell You ‘Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare’ Now

While today will determine the political future of our country until the presidential campaign season starts tomorrow, none of that involves tits and guns in exosuits, so America has but zero fucks to give as it prepares to celebrate today's true holiday. So here's Emily Ratajkowski in the new…
By: The Superficial / November 4, 2014

Stephen Colbert Takes On #GamerGate

As some of you might've noticed, the Edit feature is no longer available in the comments which is all thanks to #GamerGaters and their inability to gracefully lose an argument without exploiting flaws to change other users' comments. So to celebrate that momentous turn of events, here's Stephen Colbert…
By: The Superficial / October 30, 2014

Conan Went To E3 And Other News

- Whitewashing Batfleck's gambling problem begins. [Lainey Gossip] - Lady GaGa and R. Kelly made a rape video with Terry Richardson or something. [Dlisted] - Random Facts You Probably Didn’t Know About The Porn Industry [theCHIVE] - Goddammit, Katy Perry. What did you do?! [Fishwrapper] - A…
By: The Superficial / June 20, 2014

Conan Got An Advance Copy of ‘Super Smash Bros.’

Feedly is under another DDoS attack, so I'm literally just posting shit that amuses me, and there's not a goddamn thing anyone can do about it thanks to my new girlfriend who hopefully should be here any minute now. And better be because I bought all these Funyuns. And…
By: The Superficial / June 12, 2014

Abigail Ratchford Will Comfort You Now

Alright, folks, it's a Friday when a major summer blockbuster releases, so we already mentally checked out yesterday. But to keep you company, here's Abigail Ratchford - who can't possibly be from Pennsylvania, there's no fucking way - along with a new Honest Trailer, Clueless Gamer, and this week'…
By: The Superficial / May 23, 2014

‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ Wants To Say Hi

Batman: Arkham Origins was a fill-in title kicked to WB Montreal who had nothing to do with Arkham City or Arkham Asylum and it fucking showed. However, the purpose of Origins was to milk some cash out of the franchise off the heels of City'…
By: The Superficial / March 4, 2014

Holy Repetitive Combat, Batman: My Weekend With ‘Batman: Arkham Origins’

I really wanted Batman: Arkham Origins to be awesome. In fact, I spent more way time with this game than I did for my first impressions of Grand Theft Auto V and Bioshock Infinite just to give it a chance to open up and give me something, anything, besides the feeling…
By: The Superficial / October 27, 2013

The Guy Who Does Franklin’s Voice In ‘GTA V’ Knocked Out Ice Cube In Real Life

Grand Theft Auto V is a goddamn amazing game thanks to it's engrossing design and writing, and not because of all the outfits you can spend an entire afternoon picking out for your characters even though Trevor keeps putting his Dusche beer sleeveless T back on after I spent…
By: The Superficial / October 7, 2013

Tom Clancy Died (1947 – 2013)

Depending on what age you are, you know the name Tom Clancy from either his expansive library of meticulously detailed military/espionage novels or the several video games series bearing his name. I fall squarely in the former category (Ask me to name some of my all time favorite book…
By: The Superficial / October 2, 2013

Thoughts About ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ From A Penis Joke Writer On The Internet

When I set out to write my first impressions of Grand Theft Auto V yesterday, I was prepared to just barely scratch the surface with only a few hours of gameplay, but at least get a good feel for it. What I wasn't prepared for was to find out that I also needed the…
By: The Superficial / September 18, 2013

I’m Playing ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ For Journalism

Alright, folks, here's the deal. Grand Theft Auto V came out today, so I'm leaving you in the supple hands of Photo Boy while I spend the next few hours giving it a whirl so I can report back to you with my findings. On that note, if you have any questions you'd like…
By: The Superficial / September 17, 2013

WEEKEND NERDIOR: Patton Oswalt Edition

Patton Oswalt may have written an incredibly inspirational Facebook post the day of the Boston Marathon bombing, but he also did a bunch of nerd stuff this week that caters to people like me who already fear and loathe the outside world and wrote off humanity a long time ago, so…
By: The Superficial / April 21, 2013

WEEKEND NERDIOR: ‘Man of Steel’ Edition

It may be a beautiful spring Sunday outside, but fresh air is the enemy and I'll be goddamned if I'm about to let its invigorating aroma stop me from talking about Superman on the Internet. Also, there might be bees. Anyway, let's jump right into this week's edition of Weekend Nerdior where apparently…
By: The Superficial / April 14, 2013

WEEKEND NERDIOR: Marvel Phase Two Edition

And now for the part of the week where I snuff out what tiny chance this site gives me of getting laid by rambling on about comics, video games and/or my deep concern about who's wearing green booty shorts next to Batman. I probably should've named this column "Dust Penis," but after months staring at…
By: The Superficial / April 7, 2013

WEEKEND NERDIOR: Wait, This Wonder Woman Costume Is For Porn? Edition

What you're looking at is not the new, surprisingly well-done costume for a standalone Wonder Woman movie or Justice League. It's for Wonder Woman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody starring Kimberly Kane. That's right, the porn version of Wonder Woman has a better costume than David E. Kelley's whatever…
By: The Superficial / March 30, 2013

I Better Get To Fight Jesus: The Superficial’s First Impressions of ‘Bioshock Infinite’

As Photo Boy pointed out earlier, first thing this morning I ran out and picked up a copy of Bioshock Infinite for PS3 then left him with specific instructions to post hillbilly boobs and alert everyone Usher's going to molest again while I spent a few hours poking into this -…
By: The Superficial / March 26, 2013

WEEKEND NERDIOR: Alice Eve’s Boobs Are Highly Logical, Captain, Edition

WARNING: Pressing 'Play' makes Alice Eve disappear. Welcome to the inaugural edition of Weekend Nerdior, my latest brain-child conceived in the dark, sexless shadows of my mind where no breast dare set foot. Here you'll find all the random comic book, video game and various nerd items I came across during the week…
By: The Superficial / March 24, 2013
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