Posts tagged "Victoria’s Secret"

Football Is Bullshit, Here Are The Commercials

Some sort of sports ball game happened last night, but more importantly, celebrity laden ads to sell you shit you don’t need and sequels to movies nobody asked for! USA! USA! USA!

The Superficial / February 2, 2015

Cara Delevingne Seduced Kendall Into Bailing On Victoria’s Secret

It’s been Kendall Jenner’s dream to walk the Victoria’s Secret runway, but on the eve of its London takeover, she took off across Europe with a drunk, panty flashing Cara Delevingne which is exactly what I would’ve done in her situation minus the part where they hung out with Karl Lagerfeld because his glasses scare…

The Superficial / December 2, 2014

Michael Bay Should Only Do This, Nothing But This

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles might be a childhood-raping CGI abortion that already made enough money to greenlight a sequel because you people are the fucking devil except here’s Michael Bay proving he still serves a purpose in this world and that purpose is Victoria’s Secret commercials. Sure, any idiot can point a camera at hot

The Superficial / August 11, 2014

Good Morning, Alessandra Ambrosio, And Other News

- Sure, Cate Blanchett looked great, but did she manually stimulate any statues? [Lainey Gossip]
– RIP, Colonel Meow [Dlisted]
- Bras Are Not Welcome Around Here [theCHIVE]
- Rihanna has lost her damn mind. [Fishwrapper]
– Methinks Kaley Cuoco doth Instagram too hard. [tooFab]
- Amazon might raise the prize of Prime by $20…

The Superficial / January 31, 2014

Good Morning, Adriana Lima & Karlie Kloss, And Other News

- There’s a #MondayBunday now?! ‘Tis truly is a magical season. [theCHIVE]
- Miley Cyrus’ hair looks like this now. [Lainey Gossip]
- Ali Lohan is trying to be a singer again. [Dlisted]
- Why I Believe Jameis Winston’s Accuser [Deadspin]
- Kim Kardashian thinks she’s Elizabeth Taylor now. [Fishwrapper]
– Haha! Like Britney Spears

The Superficial / December 10, 2013

Jessica Hart Got Fired From Victoria’s Secret Because of Taylor Swift

After making comments about Taylor Swift performing at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, model Jessica Hart found herself fired because apparently this seemed like a nicer excuse than, “Ew, you’re 27.” Page Six reports:
Asked at the afterparty at Tao if the pop star could “pull it off” as a lingerie model, Hart told WWD:…

The Superficial / December 3, 2013

The 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Because we’re serious, comprehensive journalists, here’s the rest of The 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show featuring everyone who’s not Candice Swanepoel or that chick who won’t shut up about her ex because they already got their own posts. Not that that means the rest of these models should commit suicide, but they probably shouldn’t look…

The Superficial / November 14, 2013

Candice Swanepoel Won The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

In Scientology, anyone who undermines the teachings of the church is referred to as a Suppressive Person who must be excommunicated because they’re also Hitler. Which seems like a silly practice from a silly religion, except it’s probably not a bad idea for how you should treat anyone who tries to say the Victoria’s Secret

The Superficial / November 14, 2013

Taylor Swift Performed At The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show? The Taylor Swift?

If I had to choose the prudest person in the world to perform at The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, it’d be Taylor Swift followed by a nun in a chastity belt at a distant second. That said, Taylor does have an incredible body that I’ll never have sex with in a thousand years which wa…

The Superficial / November 14, 2013

Good Morning, Candice Swanepoel, And Other News

- Jennifer Lawrence cut her hair. Everyone freak out! [Lainey Gossip]
- Taylor Swift is stealing Laura Bush’s clothes now. [Dlisted]
– Good God, Jordan Carver… [theCHIVE]
- Jon and Kate Gosselin are having some sort of public spat again. [Fishwrapper]
- Naya Rivera is way hotter than Lea Michele, yet I never hear about…

The Superficial / November 7, 2013

Justin Bieber Broke Up Miranda Kerr & Orlando Bloom? The Justin Bieber?

It’s pretty much a given that Justin Bieber banged Barbara Palvin after The 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, but now comes word that he probably also had sex with Miranda Kerr because Justice Scalia was right. The devil is real, and he is doing something besides making pigs run off cliffs. It’s this, he’s doing…

The Superficial / October 31, 2013

Michael Bay Was Attacked By A Zombie, Your Mind-P*ssy Just Got Exploded With Truth

“So things are getting hot, right? She’s laying on the Ferrari, all writhing and shit. I’m primed and ready to drop my C4. Except if you look at my fingers, you’ll notice the one I’m about to collide into is not in the shape of a hole, and that’s why my car was on fire…

The Superficial / October 18, 2013

Michael Bay Got Attacked By Triads In Hong Kong

“Dude, dude, check it out. I’m with a hot chick, and the kind black dudes like. That’s funny!”
While filming Transformers: Age of Extinction in Hong Kong this morning, Michael Bay suddenly found himself being exactly right that time he said all Chinese people know karate because two of them started kicking him in the…

The Superficial / October 17, 2013

And Now Back To Celebrities: Whose Genitals Are They Touching?

Granted, terrorism is super indie cool now, let’s get back to bullshit celebrity engagements that mean absolutely nothing. This time around it’s Adam Levine proposing to Victoria’s Secret model Behati Prinsloo, according to Us Magazine:
Levine was previously linked to 21-year-old supermodel Nina Agdal, but the Maroon 5 frontman rekindled his relationship with Namibian model…

The Superficial / July 17, 2013

Victoria’s Secret Put Kate Upton In Their New Catalog Without Telling Her

Here’s the back cover from the new Victoria’s Secret catalog that’s been going around making everyone think they signed Kate Upton after absolutely trashing her last year. Turns out they just went ahead and used old photos of her without telling her and thought that would go over well. Page Six reports:
The VS photo…

The Superficial / May 29, 2013

It’s Michael Bay’s New Victoria’s Secret Commercial

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Michael Bay should be doing absolutely nothing but making Victoria’s Secret commercials. Not so much that they’re works of genius – It’s pointing a camera at women who would look hot in a beekeeper’s suit. – but mostly so he stops doing anything else. Also, thi…

The Superficial / April 17, 2013

Miranda Kerr Still Works For Victoria’s Secret

Yesterday, rumors started flying that Miranda Kerr had been fired from Victoria’s Secret despite being one of their most recognizable Angels. Then again, she did have a child and with serious crime comes serious punishment. Turns out she wasn’t fired, and according to Victoria’s Secret statement to Just Jared, Miranda will be walking in their…

The Superficial / April 11, 2013

Candice Swanepoel, Alessandra Ambrosio And Karlie Kloss Are In Bikinis And Other News

- The Newly Single Chivettes are here. [theCHIVE]
- Justin Timberlake is patronizing Kanye West now. [Lainey Gossip]
- Brandi Glanville made out with Chelsea Hander’s lesbian apparently. [Dlisted]
- Snooki uses her baby for arm curls. Why not? [TooFab]
– Remember the days when Britney Spears was just a funky cool e-mailer? [BuzzFeed]
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The Superficial / March 13, 2013

And Now Alessandra Ambrosio & Candice Swanepoel Posing in Lingerie For Michael Bay

Because these deserve better than getting lost in yesterday’s Grammys coverage, here’s Alessandra Ambrosio, Candice Swanepoel and Lars Ribeiro posing in lingerie for Michael Bay’s latest Victoria’s Secret commercial which, as much as I hate to say this, is the man’s true calling. God clearly put this man on Earth for a purpose even though…

The Superficial / February 12, 2013

Good Morning, Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Photos, And Other News

- The Super Bowl Footballs You Were Never Meant To See [BuzzFeed]
– How does Jason Momoa stay in shape? Fucking. Lots and lots of fucking. [Lainey Gossip]
- Beyonce sang live at the Super Bowl press conference, so assume that pays way better than an inauguration. [Dlisted]
- World War Z has a new…

The Superficial / February 1, 2013
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