Vanessa Paradis

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Doug Stanhope, Johnny Depp’s Bodyguards: Amber Heard Is Lying

In which tales of blackmail and “ear-witnesses” still sound like Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are assholes who acted like assholes to each other. More »


BREAKING: Johnny Depp Confirms He’s Single

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis reportedly split months ago, but then they both spent the time since then either denying it or cleverly hinting at it, so no one knew what the fuck even though he banged an Olsen twin and somehow lived to tell the tale. Except out of nowhere today, Johnny’s publicist just… More »


Vanessa Paradis Really Hates Johnny Depp

Adding… AHHH!

Seen here at last night’s premiere of her new movie, Croissants: The Musical Cafe De Flore, Vanessa Paradis at some point clearly laughed in Johnny Depp’s face when he suggested they stay together because they’re “soulmates” which is really the only way to interpret this quote. Via RadarOnline:

“Cafe… More »



Johnny Depp Is Definitely Single

A few weeks back we posted that Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis were calling it quits, but like anything we post, it could’ve very easily been complete bullshit. I probably would’ve guaranteed it. Except now PEOPLE’s running with their break-up on its cover, so there’s really never been a better time for anyone in LA… More »


Johnny Depp Might Be Single

Possibly because banging Willem Dafoe gets boring after a while – To the 1% anyway, amirite, occupiers? – Johnny Depp is reportedly breaking things off with long-time girlfriend Vanessa Paradis and talking to lawyers about how much of his Pirates of the Caribbean booty (Kill me. Please kill me.) she’s going to make off with… More »


This is Johnny Depp’s Girlfriend?

Despite covering celebrities for years on here, I never once looked at Johnny Depp’s long-time girlfriend Vanessa Paradis because I just assumed she was some sort of crazy hot model. And then I saw these. At this time I’d like to apologize to you, the reader, for not making enough jokes about Johnny Depp being… More »