Posts tagged "Tila Tequila"

Tila Tequila Is A Mother, This Is Our World Now

Posted by Photo Boy Since we're now almost exclusively in the business of reporting awful shit happening to children, here's the announcement that Tila Tequila replicated, which is the only word I'll used to describe her somehow making another life form. Via Us Weekly: "I just want my baby to…
By: Photo Boy / November 18, 2014

Tila Tequila Would Like Her Baby Daddy’s Family To Stop Dating ‘N*ggers’ (Pretty Please)

Thomas Paxton Whitaker made a critical error by having sex with Tila Tequila. He made even more critical one by letting that result in a pregnancy. Except he's remedying those mistakes now by selling insanely racist texts from Tila to Radar Online which there'll probably be a shitload more…
By: The Superficial / May 21, 2014

Tila Tequila Says Tila Tequila Is Pregnant

Now that Tila Tequila's done doing InfoWars porn - and actual porn - it's time to resort to the famewhore spectacle of choice: faking a pregnancy. And if you're thinking to yourself, wait a minute, didn't Tila Tequila already try this before? Why, yes, Pete, she did.
By: The Superficial / April 21, 2014

Tila Tequila Has A New Sex Tape Coming Out, Is A Marketing Genius

Up until last week it seemed like Tila Tequila had fallen off the face of the earth if not returned to Smurf Village where Papa Smurf had to answer some tough questions about his time in Nam. But then she claimed the Jews killed Paul Walker with their Illuminati powers and…
By: The Superficial / December 16, 2013

Tila Tequila Got Banned From Facebook

On Monday, the entire Internet remembered Tila Tequila was still a thing that's out there then quickly learned she's been spending her time on Facebook trying to start the Fourth Reich whenever she's not revealing who really killed Paul Walker (Spoiler Alert: It's Jews.) And apparently Facebook had no…
By: The Superficial / December 11, 2013

Tila Tequila Knows Who Really Killed Paul Walker Because She Was Hitler In A Former Life

The last time we saw Tila Tequila she had assumed a new form as a gun-toting libertarian filled with parenting advice and InfoWars-level conspiracy theories. Since then she's double-downed on that last part and has evolved into a pure being of truth that has visited our dimension several time…
By: The Superficial / December 9, 2013

And Now Tila Tequila On Parenting

When we last left Tila Tequila she was claiming to be a powerful sparkle wizard, and since then, she's become even worse by turning into one of those gun-toting libertarian who constantly posts conspiracy theories on Facebook. Which makes it even more awesome that she's spouting…
By: The Superficial / October 8, 2013

Hey, Remember Tila Tequila? She Thinks She’s A Wizard Now

The entire point of Tila Tequila posting this video is to draw attention to Tila Tequila, so yes, I know I fell right into her trap. But after watching this video, not only will you wish I shot your children right in front of your eyes instead, you'll also realize I was useless to…
By: The Superficial / April 26, 2013

Tila Tequila Had A Brain Aneurysm That Made Her Do All The Drugs She Likes

I'm going to ahead and read this report as Tila Tequila overdosed then made up some horseshit story about an aneurysm making her do it, but feel free to interpret this however you like. Via RadarOnline: According to the source, Tila suffered a brain aneurysm in the middle of the night, which…
By: The Superficial / March 6, 2012

Tila Tequila Really Wants You To See Her Implants

"Shalom," they say. I'm going to be honest with you: I hate Tila Tequila, but at the same time, I love giant breasts including ones that still have that new dead inside smell. So here's Tila rollerblading around Malibu this morning with what I'm assuming are brand new, if not repumped, implants, so at…
By: The Superficial / January 27, 2012

Tila Tequila: ‘I’ll Take It From Here, Nazis’

I'm just gonna cut to the chase. Tila Tequila is in the process of converting to Judaism which suddenly makes all that stuff Katy Perry's dad said seem quaint by comparison because at least he didn't discredit an entire religion simply by joining it. TMZ reports: TMZ has learned Tequila ha…
By: The Superficial / January 13, 2012

Charlie Sheen and Juggalos: Why Not?

If you're like me, you've been wondering how Charlie Sheen's doing with his quest to become the new Tila Tequila, and it turns out he's right on schedule. "First, you get the Ustream... then you get the Juggalos... then you get the Faygo." Via Twitter: Heading to…
By: The Superficial / July 6, 2011

Coco & Ice-T Renewed Their Vows

"Do you, T of Ice, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, through sickness and in health, through tearing that ass up and her being all tired and shit but she still let you look at a titty while you rub one out, for as long as you…
By: The Superficial / June 6, 2011

Octomom’s in a Bikini Again

Because it's Apocalypse Day on The Superficial, here's Octomom posing for a new bikini shoot because who knew shatting out 14 kids would cost money? And working a real job is hard. On that note, apparently Octo is joining forces with Tila Tequila and the hooker/porn star Charlie Sheen tried…
By: The Superficial / June 3, 2011

Tila Tequila Banged Nick Hogan

Just a reminder that Tila Tequila will have sex with anything. Think of it as a public service announcement. RadarOnline reports: "Tila and Nick spent a lot of time together both on and off the set and totally hooked up," a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline…
By: The Superficial / April 27, 2011

Tila Tequila Wants To Be a ‘Goddess’

Now that Ustream videos are involved, it was only a matter of time until Tila Tequila realized living with Charlie Sheen is the prostitution job she's been waiting her whole life for. In an interview with Hollywood Life, she makes her case to not only…
By: The Superficial / March 9, 2011

Charlie Sheen is Tila Tequila Now

And welcome to the part of the day why I try to catch up with all the crazy shit Charlie Sheen's done because the man never sleeps. It's gotten to the point where I'm exhausted just thinking about him and literally can't wait for his death so I can write, "I guess he won,"…
By: The Superficial / March 7, 2011

Tila Tequila is a Cockroach

Tila Tequila may have faked no less than 20 pregnancies, falsely accused Shawne Merriman of assault and probably most offensively, didn't die when Juggalos tried to kill her, but somehow that hasn't stopped the creative geniuses at CBS from giving her a guest role on $#*! My Dad Says along…
By: The Superficial / January 27, 2011

UPDATE: Dave Navarro is Banging Tila Tequila Now. Of Course.

Every once in a while I like to check in on Tila Tequila just to see who's still dumb enough to stick their penis in her. Cue Dave Navarro who's apparently "in love," according to E! News: Tila, who knew Navarro for a while, first…
By: The Superficial / January 19, 2011

Tila Tequila Wore a Costume, Too, And Other News

(Sorry for not posting these yesterday. I honestly thought she was just going to the grocery store. Or church.) - Randy and Evi Quaid continue to excel at life. [Popeater] - Pink wants you to beat your kids more. She must be watching Teen Mom. [Dlisted] -…
By: The Superficial / November 2, 2010
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