Tila Tequila


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Tila Tequila Will Advertise Her Phone Sex Line With Racism Now

Tila Tequila is oddly racist for a midget Asian Nazi leprechaun. More »

Tila Tequila Is Probably Gonna Lose Custody Of Her Kid

Tila Tequila’s baby daddy wants full custody now, because the necromancing power of batshit vagina apparently lasts for a year. More »

Tila Tequila Became Every Asinine Corner Of The Internet Yesterday

Tila Tequila ranted about flat earth, lizard people and all kinds of Internet horseshit yesterday and you people ate it right up. This time, it’s on you. More »

Tila Tequila Dressed Her Daughter Up As #BabyHitler

Hilter AND Internet attention? Sign Tila Tequila up! More »

So Celebrity Big Brother Is Just Porn Now?

Celebrity Big Brother just got a whole lot sexier. And by “sexier” I mean AIDS. It just got AIDS. More »

Tila Tequila Is A Phone Sex Operator

Well, this was inevitable. More »

Tila Tequila Is A Mother, This Is Our World Now

Posted by Photo Boy

Since we’re now almost exclusively in the business of reporting awful shit happening to children, here’s the announcement that Tila Tequila replicated, which is the only word I’ll used to describe her somehow making another life form. Via Us Weekly:

I just want my baby to beMore »

Tila Tequila Would Like Her Baby Daddy’s Family To Stop Dating ‘N*ggers’ (Pretty Please)

Thomas Paxton Whitaker made a critical error by having sex with Tila Tequila. He made even more critical one by letting that result in a pregnancy. Except he’s remedying those mistakes now by selling insanely racist texts from Tila to Radar Online which there’ll probably be a shitload more of because you know what it’s… More »

Tila Tequila Says Tila Tequila Is Pregnant

Now that Tila Tequila’s done doing InfoWars porn – and actual porn – it’s time to resort to the famewhore spectacle of choice: faking a pregnancy. And if you’re thinking to yourself, wait a minute, didn’t Tila Tequila already try this before? Why, yes, Pete, she did. In fact, not only did Tila pretend toMore »

Tila Tequila Has A New Sex Tape Coming Out, Is A Marketing Genius

Up until last week it seemed like Tila Tequila had fallen off the face of the earth if not returned to Smurf Village where Papa Smurf had to answer some tough questions about his time in Nam. But then she claimed the Jews killed Paul Walker with their Illuminati powers and suddenly she was the… More »

Tila Tequila Got Banned From Facebook

On Monday, the entire Internet remembered Tila Tequila was still a thing that’s out there then quickly learned she’s been spending her time on Facebook trying to start the Fourth Reich whenever she’s not revealing who really killed Paul Walker (Spoiler Alert: It’s Jews.) And apparently Facebook had no idea either because it took until… More »

Tila Tequila Knows Who Really Killed Paul Walker Because She Was Hitler In A Former Life

The last time we saw Tila Tequila she had assumed a new form as a gun-toting libertarian filled with parenting advice and InfoWars-level conspiracy theories. Since then she’s double-downed on that last part and has evolved into a pure being of truth that has visited our dimension several times before in various different forms. (Read:… More »

And Now Tila Tequila On Parenting

When we last left Tila Tequila she was claiming to be a powerful sparkle wizard, and since then, she’s become even worse by turning into one of those gun-toting libertarian who constantly posts conspiracy theories on Facebook. Which makes it even more awesome that she’s spouting parenting advice now because I can’t think of a… More »

Hey, Remember Tila Tequila? She Thinks She’s A Wizard Now

The entire point of Tila Tequila posting this video is to draw attention to Tila Tequila, so yes, I know I fell right into her trap. But after watching this video, not only will you wish I shot your children right in front of your eyes instead, you’ll also realize I was useless to resist… More »

Tila Tequila Had A Brain Aneurysm That Made Her Do All The Drugs She Likes

I’m going to ahead and read this report as Tila Tequila overdosed then made up some horseshit story about an aneurysm making her do it, but feel free to interpret this however you like. Via RadarOnline:

According to the source, Tila suffered a brain aneurysm in the middle of the night, which caused… More »

Tila Tequila Really Wants You To See Her Implants

“Shalom,” they say.

I’m going to be honest with you: I hate Tila Tequila, but at the same time, I love giant breasts including ones that still have that new dead inside smell. So here’s Tila rollerblading around Malibu this morning with what I’m assuming are brand new, if not repumped, implants, so… More »

Tila Tequila: ‘I’ll Take It From Here, Nazis’

I’m just gonna cut to the chase. Tila Tequila is in the process of converting to Judaism which suddenly makes all that stuff Katy Perry’s dad said seem quaint by comparison because at least he didn’t discredit an entire religion simply by joining it. TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned Tequila has been taking… More »

Charlie Sheen and Juggalos: Why Not?

If you’re like me, you’ve been wondering how Charlie Sheen’s doing with his quest to become the new Tila Tequila, and it turns out he’s right on schedule. “First, you get the Ustream… then you get the Juggalos… then you get the Faygo.” Via Twitter:

Heading to the Insane Clown Posse’s 12th Annual… More »

Coco & Ice-T Renewed Their Vows

Do you, T of Ice, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, through sickness and in health, through tearing that ass up and her being all tired and shit but she still let you look at a titty while you rub one out, for as long as youMore »

Octomom’s in a Bikini Again

Because it’s Apocalypse Day on The Superficial, here’s Octomom posing for a new bikini shoot because who knew shatting out 14 kids would cost money? And working a real job is hard. On that note, apparently Octo is joining forces with Tila Tequila and the hooker/porn star Charlie Sheen tried to kill because FrankLohanTinoZord wasn’t… More »

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