Thomas Ian Nicholas

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This Is Why You Never Drink Around Tom Cruise

“Xenu.. mindbeams.. mindbeams in my butt.. Xenu.. Tom Berenger.. sell my dad’s company.. Xenu.. Ohmygod, that woman’s MELTING.. Xenu.. buttrays.. Xenu.. No, I don’t want a handjob, handsome midget.. Xenu.. Xenu.. E-meter? More like butt-meter! AHAHA! Xenu.. Nah, I’ll take the Marion Cotillard train home.. Xenu..”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News,

Mike Redmond | September 20, 2012 - 11:49 am