Posts tagged "The Dorkness"

Tom Hiddleston Did Samuel L. Jackson As Loki

Last week, Tom Hiddleston broke the Internet by doing an insanely dead-on impression of Owen Wilson as Loki, and now here he is doing Samuel L. Jackson as Loki. Which is great unless your Nerdy Avril Lavigne who apparently sees shit like this everyday. Some of us aren’t married to Dungeon Master Chad Kroeger, lady.

The Superficial / October 21, 2013

Paul Rudd Might Be ‘Ant-Man’

“Do I look like a tiny Wolverine with these sideburns?”
“I don’t know, Emile Hirsch.”
It seems like Edgar Wright has been working on an Ant-Man movie since before Robert Downey Jr. was even Iron Man which – *snorts, adjusts glasses* – is a REALLY long time. Anyway, the movie’s set for 2015, just two…

The Superficial / October 15, 2013

Gina Carano Banging Superman Again Is A Post With Celebrity Breasts In It

I’m going to be completely honest with you, it’s a fucking wasteland on the celebrity beat right now. Just wait until you see my next post [Update: Right here.] which is the hottest story on the Internet right now and will put things entirely in perspective. In the meantime, here’s a post about Gina Carano

The Superficial / October 10, 2013

George Lucas Is Talking To J.J. Abrams ‘Constantly’ About Episode VII Oh Goddammit

In an interview with Flicks And The City (above), George Lucas’ son Jett reveals his dad is talking constantly with J.J. Abrams about Star Wars: Episode VII which Force cunt-punches the initial good news that Lucas would be minimally involved because the prequels.
“He’s constantly talking to J.J. [Abrams, director of Episode VII]. Obviously J.J.

The Superficial / October 8, 2013

The Guy Who Does Franklin’s Voice In ‘GTA V’ Knocked Out Ice Cube In Real Life

Grand Theft Auto V is a goddamn amazing game thanks to it’s engrossing design and writing, and not because of all the outfits you can spend an entire afternoon picking out for your characters even though Trevor keeps putting his Dusche beer sleeveless T back on after I spent all that time finding the right…

The Superficial / October 7, 2013

The Hottest Olsen Is Scarlet Witch In ‘Avengers 2′

Elizabeth Olsen has already grown up into the hot, non-Muppet-on-heroin-looking young woman everyone hoped and dream her sisters would be once they hit 18, and now she’s besting them again by being cast in the premiere superhero franchise of the moment instead of murdering the best actor in one. Think of her as The Anti-Twin.

The Superficial / October 3, 2013

Tom Clancy Died (1947 – 2013)

Depending on what age you are, you know the name Tom Clancy from either his expansive library of meticulously detailed military/espionage novels or the several video games series bearing his name. I fall squarely in the former category (Ask me to name some of my all time favorite books and/or movies, and you’ll hear the…

The Superficial / October 2, 2013

It’s Time For Another Wonder Woman Fan-Film

Because people really want a Wonder Woman movie, here’s the latest fan-film by Rainfall Films starring Rileah Vanderbilt as a less Danish Princess Diana and a more stabbing minotaurs in the face one. Of course, all of this might have to do with the rumor that Wonder Woman has a cameo in Batman Vs. Superman

The Superficial / October 1, 2013

So That ‘Breaking Bad’ Finale

SPOILERS, BITCH.

Before I jump into Kim Kardashian’s tits – Coming up next on The Superficial. Stick around! – I thought I’d drop a thread here for everyone to laud/bitch about/meticulously dissect instead of doing work because fuck that last night’s final episode of Breaking Bad. As for my own analysis, there…

The Superficial / September 30, 2013

Samuel L. Jackson’s Playboy Interview Is Amazing

Samuel L. Jackson has a new interview in the October issue of Playboy, and it is a goddamn breath of fresh air after the whining, tone-deaf bullshit coming out of Kanye West and Chris Brown’s mouths. I highly recommend reading the whole thing, but if you’re strapped for time, here are some highlights on the…

The Superficial / September 25, 2013

Here’s Christian Bale Wearing Val Kilmer’s Batsuit To Audition For ‘Batman Begins’

Above is Christian Bale’s audition tape for Batman Begins that made the Internet rounds over the weekend because not only does it feature future Lois Lane Amy Adams standing in for Katie Holmes, but Christian wearing Val Kilmer’s Batsuit. (As for why he didn’t wear George Clooney’s, I’ll assume the official reason was “too many…

The Superficial / September 23, 2013

Hey, Warner Bros, Here’s Your Lex Luthor

With the rumors of Bryan Cranston playing Lex Luthor in Batman Vs. Superman being shot down by reports that his first post-Breaking Bad role will be Trumbo, fanboys hoping for a Walter White Lex are obviously disappointed. So allow me to suggest an even better alternative: Damian Lewis, baby. BOOM. Don’t get me wrong, I…

The Superficial / September 23, 2013

Thoughts About ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ From A Penis Joke Writer On The Internet

When I set out to write my first impressions of Grand Theft Auto V yesterday, I was prepared to just barely scratch the surface with only a few hours of gameplay, but at least get a good feel for it. What I wasn’t prepared for was to find out that I also needed the evening…

The Superficial / September 18, 2013

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Talking About Her Vagina Again

While promoting Iron Man 3, Gwyneth Paltrow got shitfaced drunk and called into an Australian radio show where she elaborated on her comments to Ellen about shaving her 70s bush to make her ass window red carpet look work. So here she is on Ellen talking about her shorn lady drapes again because Gwyneth Paltrow…

The Superficial / September 18, 2013

I’m Playing ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ For Journalism

Alright, folks, here’s the deal. Grand Theft Auto V came out today, so I’m leaving you in the supple hands of Photo Boy while I spend the next few hours giving it a whirl so I can report back to you with my findings. On that note, if you have any questions you’d like me…

The Superficial / September 17, 2013

Jonathan Banks Is F*cking Awesome

Last week Paul F. Tompkins had Mark-Paul Gosselaar react to 2013 situations as Zack Morris which would seem like an impossible concept to top except here’s Jonathan Banks reading children’s fairy tales as Mike Ehrmantraut from Breaking Bad. Even better is his full interview below where you will watch the mystical art of giving zero…

The Superficial / September 17, 2013

Here’s What A Sequel To ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Might Have Looked Like. Kinda.

Above is a fan film from a potential web series called The Dark Knight Legacy which continues the events of The Dark Knight Rises that made Jospeh Gordon-Levitt’s John Blake the new Batman. Except he’s Nightwing because fuck Bruce Wayne’s life mission to create an undying legend? Anyway, it’s supposed to be in the tone…

The Superficial / September 17, 2013

Calm Down, Justin Bieber Is The Perfect Robin

Over the weekend, Justin Bieber posted a selfie to Instagram showing him holding what looks like the script to Batman Vs. Superman with the caption “#robin??” which naturally made the Internet go horse-fucking bananas because this whole thing’s a compost heap of porn and comic books when it comes right down to it. (That’s how…

The Superficial / September 16, 2013

Newsicus Harry Pottercus! (I’ll Go Shoot Myself In The Face Now)

“Please, Lady Rowling, no more books to make movies out of. Please. The cages, they burn.”
“I’m trying, children, I’m trying. They have ways…”
In case you haven’t figured out by the quiet, nerdy girl in your office suddenly growing alive with passion and screaming, “Yeah. FUCK YEAH!” while sending her foot through her monitor,…

The Superficial / September 12, 2013
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