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How Is Megan Fox Still Premiering ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?’

Somehow Megan Fox is still premiering ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ over six months after its release. She knows what she did. More »


Rihanna Will Make You Want To Bang Raphael Now

The right wing media is waging a horseshit campaign to paint Lena Dunham as a child molester, but before we get to that, let’s look at Rihanna’s tits painted like a Ninja Turtle because I’m almost positive this is the story on everyone’s mind that will define us a generation. Or make me watch the… More »


No, Wait, Megan Fox, South Korea’s On Our Side!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is an epic shitbomb of pure fuck-dumb, so here’s Megan Fox dropping it on South Korea yesterday because who needs allies? Amirite? That whole North Korea thing will probably sort itself out. Plus we’re still holding all the Dennis Rodmans. I dare anyone to defy us.

Photos: GettyMore »


Michael Bay Is The Antichrist: A Review of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

Last week, I missed a significant chunk of Guardians of The Galaxy thanks to pure death violently escaping my body. And yet what I did get to see in a fevered, anxious fugue was still light years beyond Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in every possible way. If Guardians was a throwback to classic 80s adventures… More »


Megan Fox Is Denying Brian Austin Green Sex Because of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

[Ed. Note: Never trifle with me again, BAG. You’re outmatched. – SW]

When we last left Megan Fox, she was telling moviegoers to fuck off before they even see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Since then, she’s already said she wants to go to back to Transformers, named Shia LaBeouf her favorite on-screen kissMore »


Megan Fox Tells Moviegoers To ‘F*ck Off’

Back in her Transformers heyday, Megan Fox had a small problem with opening her mouth and letting words come out of it. Words like “Hitler” and, well, basically any thought in her head. But, now that she’s humbled herself and crawled back to Michael Bay, she’s been a tame, cooperative actress who isn’t already openly… More »


Megan Fox Isn’t George Zimmerman

Because you don’t come to this site to read about how small your dick is for cowering like a pussy behind guns, here’s Megan Fox at the Mexico City premiere of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where I’ll assume the promotional poster featured the Turtles chopping off the heads of their enemies. Or they’re just… More »


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