Taylor Swift apparently does her own stunts.
Taylor Swift’s mother has been diagnosed with cancer. I’ll try and keep things respectful.
It’s Taylor Swift legs in tiny booty shorts and a bunch of weird, creepy jokes about my penis being The Matrix, so you really don’t have to bother with the words. In fact, I prefer you don’t.
Taylor Swift reportedly insured her legs for $40 million.
Taylor Swift tries to look international at the Elle Style Awards while Rosie Huntington-Whiteley sticks with the quiet, simple elegance of letting people see the side of your boob.
Taylor Swift and Kanye West had a dinner date at Spotted Pig in New York City last night. Their BFF-ness is real.
Taylor Swift and Kanye West are collaborating in the studio, according to Kanye West after admitting he hears voices in his head, so all of this sounds legit. Everything checks out.
The other people at the Grammys who didn’t get their own posts. Pity them. Pity their lowly lot in life.
Kanye West pretended to interrupt Beck’s Grammy speech last night which apparently wasn’t a joke because he genuinely believes Beck should’ve gave his award to Beyonce. Not that it matters because Kanye West smiled in a photograph, so we’re all dead anyway.
There was some debate over whether the top half of Katy Perry’s breasts would be allowed in the Super Bowl. They were.
Taylor Swift in a bikini has what appears to be an ass? That can’t be right.
Taylor Swift’s Twitter and Instagram were both taken over by hackers threatening to leaked nude photos of her which never happened because they didn’t have any. You can stop e-mailing me now.
And to conclude our coverage of the Golden Globes, here are a bunch of celebrities at 18 different after parties celebrating themselves for starring in a three-hour long national broadcast celebrating themselves because they truly are our unsung heroes. Would it kill everybody to stop and talk about them more? They work totes hard.
While I was too busy covering real stories like how Hilary Duff‘s body’s going to be found in a wedding gown beneath Aaron Carter‘s shed, the Internet was losing its shit over a photo of Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss making out (below) even though they basically got married during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show…
Now that we’ve seen Nakedsaurus, Rise of The Sasquatch Nip Guardians, Cry For Me, Justintina, and BUTTFORCE 9000, here’s the rest of The 2014 American Music Awards which you’ll probably notice contains a disproportionate amount of Kate Beckinsale pics even though she’s not a musical artist. Like anyone else there was. Check your privilege.
Despite promising myself an ass hiatus after yesterday’s 2014 Buttella Festival, I still have precious SEO to milk into my mouth, so here’s Katy Perry‘s boyfriend publicly insulting the spot where Taylor Swift‘s butt should be:
It’s been a hell of a day full of child molesters, death treats over gun control, 12-year-olds getting implants, and more child molesters, so here’s Taylor Swift‘s camel toe which is about as plain, vanilla, and non-controversial as it gets. You could show it to people with anxiety and it’d put them right to sleep,…