Stephen Hawking


More Stephen Hawking stories

Stephen Hawking Says Human Race Will Survive Another 1,000 Years

Stephen Hawking is surprisingly optimistic about humanity’s chances. More »

Stephen Hawking Got $100 Million To Look For Aliens

Stephen Hawking received $100 million in funding to look for aliens. You know exactly where this is going. More »

Stephen Hawking Visited Jeffrey Epstein’s Alleged Underage Hooker Island

Before we get into our bullshit post where we make a man’s robot voice talk about hookers, yesterday 12 employees of Charlie Hebdo magazine in Paris were killed over satirical cartoons – cartoons – by one of the most dangerous combinations in the world: Someone with a god and a gun. Their motivation was to… More »

Stephen Hawking Wants To Be A Bond Villain

Despite being an atheist, there are times when even I can’t deny the existence of a kind and benevolent god, and those times are when Stephen Hawking wants to be a Bond villain because, and I quote, “I think the wheelchair and the computer voice would fit the part.” So needless to say, you know… More »

Stephen Hawking’s On The New Pink Floyd Album

And right out of the gate. I didn’t even hesitate.

So BlackManUSA brought it to our attention that Stephen Hawking, world renowned physicist and unabashed pussyhound, is doing guest vocals on the new Pink Floyd album, and I shouldn’t have to tell you how we spent our entire morning. It’s a… More »

Stephen Hawking Is Still Hoping People Will Show Up To His Time Travel Party In 2009

When we last left Stephen Hawking, he was expressing his desire that the 13th Doctor would be a lady, but alas, the world is a cruel mistress who won’t twirl his limp penis like a helicopter. He’s now moved on to more scientific pursuits like hoping people will eventually show up to his time travelMore »

Stephen Hawking Really Wanted A Woman Doctor.
He Didn’t Get it.

(I was just going to write a caption, but once this box is open, it really doesn’t want to be shut.)

Yesterday, the BBC aired their Doctor Who special which unveiled Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor. More importantly, Stephen Hawking was one of the guests and was asked who he’d… More »

Justin Bieber’s Getting Shot Into Space

If there was ever any doubt about Sir Richard Branson’s genius, he just booked Justin Bieber and his manager Scooter Braun on the first flight of Virgin Galactic which could launch as early as this year, so God willing, they’re cutting a shitload of corners to hit that deadline. E! News reports:

Virgin… More »

Stephen Hawking Reacts To Higgs Boson Discovery: ‘Looks Like I Lost A Bet’

Seen here pimping himself out to Big Bang Theory because dollar bills don’t grow on trees, Stephen Hawking has reacted to the recent discovery of a Higgs Boson (Don’t say God particle.) by humorously revealing it cost him a bet. Via Mashable:

“The great advances in physics came from experiments that gave results… More »

Stephen Hawking Has A ‘Big Bang Theory’ Cameo

“Big bang dat ass.”

You can’t run your ho game without making a torrential downpour on them bitches, so Stephen Hawking has agreed to a cameo on The Big Bang Theory because it has science in the name and sounds like a pretty sweet fuck movie, so I can see the confusion here. More »

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