Posts tagged "Star Wars"

Aww Shit, It’s Star Wars Day

I went to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens and all you got are these Bad Lip Reading videos.

The Superficial | December 18, 2015 - 10:00 am

Amy Schumer’s Breasts Get A Post

Amy Schumer wears the Slave Leia bikini for GQ . Also, side boob because the Internet Gods demand sacrifice.

The Superficial | July 15, 2015 - 1:26 pm

Anakin Skywalker Had A Police Chase

Jake Lloyd was arrested for reckless driving in Charleston, SC after leading police on a car chase and crashing into a tree.

The Superficial | June 22, 2015 - 10:24 am

Shia LaBeouf Saying ‘Do It’ Over And Over Again? Goddammit, Internet

Shia LaBeouf made a fake motivational speech that’s captivated the Internet like a shiny quarter. A bright, shiny quarter. Whee! Look at it go.

The Superficial | June 1, 2015 - 10:35 am

Maitland Ward In The Slave Leia Bikini Because Star Wars Day

Maitland Ward knows how to celebrate Star Wars Day.

The Superficial | May 4, 2015 - 12:41 pm

Aaron Paul Might Be Your New Han Solo

“Yeah, well, I don’t need you, Mr. White. I drive a spaceship with Khloe Kardashian now, bitch!”

Much like their Marvel movies, Disney plans on churning out assloads of Star Wars movies so it can recoup the $4.05 billion it paid George Lucas to stay the fuck away from these things and never…

The Superficial | December 30, 2014 - 11:15 am

Let The War On Christmas Begin!

Last year over the Thanksgiving holiday, I wrote a giant ass review of Sarah Palin’s Good Tidings And Great Joy, her bullshit book on the bullshit War on Christmas. It took me four days and over 20 hours of writing because clearly I am an idiot who hates rest and relaxation. This year, Kirk Cameron

The Superficial | November 28, 2014 - 1:06 pm

Comic-Con Day 1: Hope You Like Chins

Comic-Con officially started yesterday, and the excitement was palpable provided your idea of excitement is looking at chins because literally two of the biggest stories are chin hair-based. I’m not even joking. So here’s a quick rundown of Day 1, and all the lower portion of the face information that dwells within:

The Superficial | July 25, 2014 - 8:55 am

Zack Snyder Made Superman A Sith. Of Course.

For reasons known only to Zack Snyder, Henry Cavill, and Ben Affleck dressed like Princess Leia (not pictured), here’s Superman holding a lightsaber which Zack Snyder oddly tweeted last night along with the hashtag #SuperJedi because the man responsible for the DC Cinematic Universe doesn’t even know the difference between a Jedi and a Sith.

The Superficial | July 24, 2014 - 12:58 pm

Harrison Ford Basically Destroyed ‘Episode VII’

“Do I look like a guy who won’t break his leg to get out of this thing?”

A little less than two weeks ago, word got out that Harrison Ford broke his ankle after tripping over the door to the Millenium Falcon (No, really.), but everyone seemed optimistic he’d be back in a…

The Superficial | June 24, 2014 - 1:18 pm

Harrison Ford Already Broke His Ankle On The Millennium Falcon

“I also went poop in R2-D2. Shh.”

In case you’re wondering how the original cast of Star Wars is doing on the set of Episode VII, they’re old and falling over everything. THR reports:

Harrison Ford sustained an ankle injury during filming today on the set of Star Wars: Episode VII.

The Superficial | June 13, 2014 - 9:59 am

Adam Driver Is Your New Darth Vader Person

So remember how Adam Driver from Girls was supposed to be Nightwing in Batman Vs. Superman? Just kidding. He’s the new Darth Vader guy in Star Wars: Episode VII. (Why didn’t I just say Sith when you know I absolutely know the word? I’m trying to touch a vagina, and never mind, it just ran…

The Superficial | February 27, 2014 - 1:01 pm

George Lucas Is Talking To J.J. Abrams ‘Constantly’ About Episode VII Oh Goddammit

In an interview with Flicks And The City (above), George Lucas’ son Jett reveals his dad is talking constantly with J.J. Abrams about Star Wars: Episode VII which Force cunt-punches the initial good news that Lucas would be minimally involved because the prequels.

“He’s constantly talking to J.J. [Abrams, director of Episode VII].

The Superficial | October 8, 2013 - 10:00 am

Samuel L. Jackson’s Playboy Interview Is Amazing

Samuel L. Jackson has a new interview in the October issue of Playboy, and it is a goddamn breath of fresh air after the whining, tone-deaf bullshit coming out of Kanye West and Chris Brown’s mouths. I highly recommend reading the whole thing, but if you’re strapped for time, here are some highlights on the…

The Superficial | September 25, 2013 - 10:08 am

Zac Efron & Ryan Gosling Might Be Playing Han Solo and Luke Skywalker Jr.

Apparently most of Hollywood understands that the prequels were horseshit thanks to George Lucas writing, directing and making everyone act in a giant green-screen thunderdome while he sat on a couch because, according to Latino Review, Disney has already had meetings with Zac Efron AND Ryan Gosling for Episode VII because people who are obsessed…

The Superficial | July 25, 2013 - 10:29 am

There’s An Animated Version of Patton Oswalt’s Star Wars Filibuster From ‘Parks & Recreation’

Above is an animated version of Patton Oswalt’s epic seven minute-long Star Wars filibuster from Parks and Recreation where he pitches his version of Episode VII that combines Star Wars and The Avengers along with X-Men, Spider-Man and all of Greek mythology because at this point, why limit yourself? Anyway, you may have read that…

The Superficial | May 20, 2013 - 12:19 am

WEEKEND NERDIOR: Patton Oswalt Edition

Patton Oswalt may have written an incredibly inspirational Facebook post the day of the Boston Marathon bombing, but he also did a bunch of nerd stuff this week that caters to people like me who already fear and loathe the outside world and wrote off humanity a long time ago, so let’s focus on that…

The Superficial | April 21, 2013 - 3:35 pm

Yo Dawg, Disney Heard You Like Star Wars So It Put Wars In Your Stars So You Can Star While You War

If you haven’t heard by now, Disney made a surprise announcement at CinemaCon yesterday that there’s going to be eight million new Star Wars movies now, or one every summer starting with Episode VII in 2015 if you like factual numbers steeped in reality. According to io9, the game plan is to realize an “Episode”

The Superficial | April 18, 2013 - 2:24 pm

Carrie Fisher Confirms She’s In ‘Star Wars: Ep. VII’

Last week, Carrie Fisher was hospitalized after going bananas on a cruise ship, and before that, her publicist had to issue a statement telling everyone not to listen to a word Carrie Fisher says about Star Wars: Episode VII which should qualify her for real this time confirmation about playing Princess Leia again as more…

The Superficial | March 6, 2013 - 10:58 am
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