Posts tagged "Star Wars"

Aaron Paul Might Be Your New Han Solo

"Yeah, well, I don't need you, Mr. White. I drive a spaceship with Khloe Kardashian now, bitch!" Much like their Marvel movies, Disney plans on churning out assloads of Star Wars movies so it can recoup the $4.05 billion it paid George Lucas to stay the fuck …
By: The Superficial / December 30, 2014

Let The War On Christmas Begin!

Last year over the Thanksgiving holiday, I wrote a giant ass review of Sarah Palin's Good Tidings And Great Joy, her bullshit book on the bullshit War on Christmas. It took me four days and over 20 hours of writing because clearly I am an idiot who hates rest and relaxation. This year, …
By: The Superficial / November 28, 2014

Comic-Con Day 1: Hope You Like Chins

Comic-Con officially started yesterday, and the excitement was palpable provided your idea of excitement is looking at chins because literally two of the biggest stories are chin hair-based. I'm not even joking. So here's a quick rundown of Day 1, and all the lower portion of the face information that dwells within: Megan …
By: The Superficial / July 25, 2014

Zack Snyder Made Superman A Sith. Of Course.

For reasons known only to Zack Snyder, Henry Cavill, and Ben Affleck dressed like Princess Leia (not pictured), here's Superman holding a lightsaber which Zack Snyder oddly tweeted last night along with the hashtag #SuperJedi because the man responsible for the DC Cinematic …
By: The Superficial / July 24, 2014

Harrison Ford Basically Destroyed ‘Episode VII’

"Do I look like a guy who won't break his leg to get out of this thing?" A little less than two weeks ago, word got out that Harrison Ford broke his ankle after tripping over the door to the Millenium Falcon (No, really.), but everyone seemed optimistic he'd be back …
By: The Superficial / June 24, 2014

Harrison Ford Already Broke His Ankle On The Millennium Falcon

"I also went poop in R2-D2. Shh." In case you're wondering how the original cast of Star Wars is doing on the set of Episode VII, they're old and falling over everything. THR reports: "Harrison Ford sustained an ankle injury during filming today on the set of Star Wars: …
By: The Superficial / June 13, 2014

Adam Driver Is Your New Darth Vader Person

So remember how Adam Driver from Girls was supposed to be Nightwing in Batman Vs. Superman? Just kidding. He's the new Darth Vader guy in Star Wars: Episode VII. (Why didn't I just say Sith when you know I absolutely know the word? I'm trying …
By: The Superficial / February 27, 2014

George Lucas Is Talking To J.J. Abrams ‘Constantly’ About Episode VII Oh Goddammit

In an interview with Flicks And The City (above), George Lucas' son Jett reveals his dad is talking constantly with J.J. Abrams about Star Wars: Episode VII which Force cunt-punches the initial good news that Lucas would be minimally involved because the prequels. “He’s constantly talking to J.J.
By: The Superficial / October 8, 2013

Samuel L. Jackson’s Playboy Interview Is Amazing

Samuel L. Jackson has a new interview in the October issue of Playboy, and it is a goddamn breath of fresh air after the whining, tone-deaf bullshit coming out of Kanye West and Chris Brown's mouths. I highly recommend reading the whole thing, but if you're strapped for time, here …
By: The Superficial / September 25, 2013

Zac Efron & Ryan Gosling Might Be Playing Han Solo and Luke Skywalker Jr.

Apparently most of Hollywood understands that the prequels were horseshit thanks to George Lucas writing, directing and making everyone act in a giant green-screen thunderdome while he sat on a couch because, according to Latino Review, Disney has already had meetings with Zac Efron AND Ryan Gosling for Episode …
By: The Superficial / July 25, 2013

There’s An Animated Version of Patton Oswalt’s Star Wars Filibuster From ‘Parks & Recreation’

Above is an animated version of Patton Oswalt's epic seven minute-long Star Wars filibuster from Parks and Recreation where he pitches his version of Episode VII that combines Star Wars and The Avengers along with X-Men, Spider-Man and all of Greek mythology because at this point, why limit yourself? Anyway, you may …
By: The Superficial / May 20, 2013

WEEKEND NERDIOR: Patton Oswalt Edition

Patton Oswalt may have written an incredibly inspirational Facebook post the day of the Boston Marathon bombing, but he also did a bunch of nerd stuff this week that caters to people like me who already fear and loathe the outside world and wrote off humanity a long time ago, so …
By: The Superficial / April 21, 2013

Yo Dawg, Disney Heard You Like Star Wars So It Put Wars In Your Stars So You Can Star While You War

If you haven't heard by now, Disney made a surprise announcement at CinemaCon yesterday that there's going to be eight million new Star Wars movies now, or one every summer starting with Episode VII in 2015 if you like factual numbers steeped in reality. According to io9, the game plan is to …
By: The Superficial / April 18, 2013

Carrie Fisher Confirms She’s In ‘Star Wars: Ep. VII’

Last week, Carrie Fisher was hospitalized after going bananas on a cruise ship, and before that, her publicist had to issue a statement telling everyone not to listen to a word Carrie Fisher says about Star Wars: Episode VII which should qualify her for real this time confirmation about playing Princess …
By: The Superficial / March 6, 2013

‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ Is Going To Have A Lot of Old People In It

Last week, Latino Review reported that Harrison Ford is officially in talks to be in Star Wars: Episode VII which was initially dismissed as a rumor. Except yesterday Mark Hamill confirmed to Entertainment Tonight that the filmmakers have been reaching out to the original cast because Old Spock …
By: The Superficial / February 21, 2013

Walter Bishop Might Be Your New ‘Star Wars’ Villain

"I was thinking, Agent Dunham, what if this Death Star served custard?" So another day, another wildly speculative item about this war in the stars I you kids can't enough of. This time around io9 is reporting that John Noble, or Walter Bishop on Fringe which probably still means nothing to you …
By: The Superficial / February 7, 2013

J.J. Abrams Is Directing ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’

"HRRRMMM. LERNNS FLERRR?" So remember when I said Matthew Vaughn is directing Star Wars: Episode VII? Forget all that because it's J.J. Abrams. J.J. Abrams is directing Star Wars on top of Star Trek which has to be the nerd equivalent of letting a Gobot fuck a Transformer. The Wrap …
By: The Superficial / January 24, 2013

Our Shit Is Still Jacked So Here’s Darth Vader Dubbed Over With Arnold Because Why Not?

So, yeah, we're pulling the chute on this hell of a week because if I look at one more spinning load wheel, I'll easily purchase an assault rifle and commit mass murder with it per the psychic instructions Obama keeps beaming into my head. We'll be back Monday (No Most Important People tomorrow …
By: The Superficial / January 11, 2013

I Laughed At This Way Harder Than I Probably Should Have And Other News

- Joseph Gordon-Levitt picked a completely different comic book movie than Justice League or Guardians of the Galaxy. (Really nerding out today, I know.) [Just Jared] - Kristen Wiig used to be friends with Drew Barrymore until Kristen started banging Drew's ex-boyfriend. Here's how she's taking that. [Lainey Gossip] - You're …
By: The Superficial / January 8, 2013

Jason Flemyng Probably Just Confirmed Matthew Vaughn Is Directing ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’

Because sometimes I wake up in the morning and just want to write about Star Wars and tits (It's a living.), above is long-time Matthew Vaughn collaborator Jason Flemyng possibly accidentally confirming to UK movie site HeyUGuys that Vaughn is directing Star Wars: Episode VII as rumored. And …
By: The Superficial / November 28, 2012
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