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Tom Brady’s Getting His Own Movie

Hollywood’s making a movie about Tom Brady winning the Super Bowl because, goddammit, are they out of ideas. More »


Here’s A Totally Not Drunk Ben Affleck Slurring About Tom Brady

Ben Affleck just really hearts Tom Brady. Is that a crime? More »


Tom Brady Is A Donald Trump Supporter

Tom Brady has a Donald Trump hat in his locker. We’re all fucked. More »


Katy Perry’s Breasts Must Be Contained To Protect Football

Judging by her Pepsi Halftime Show press conference, I wouldn’t bet on seeing Katy Perry’s breasts during the Super Bowl because football is a holy temple that must be protected. More »


Tells Us About Your Balls, Tom Brady, Tells Us Everything About Them

While addressing Deflategate, Tom Brady explains the process of his balls and how he has no idea how his balls got deflated because he’s very protective of his balls and only like his balls a certain way. More »


Kurt Busch: ‘My Ex-Girlfriend’s An Assassin, So I Had To Hit Her’

Back in November, NASCAR driver Kurt Busch’s now ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll accused him of violently beating her after losing a race in Dover and secured a no-contact order from a judge. Via Deadpsin:

He was verbally abusive to her and said he wished he had a gun so that he could kill himself,” More »


Floyd Mayweather Jr. Witnesses A Murder/Suicide, Goes To Clippers Game

Yesterday morning, rapper Earl Hayes shot his wife Stephanie Moseley then himself over an alleged affair with Trey Songz which already is fucked up by itself. Except apparently he did it while FaceTime-ing – not just talking on the phone – with Floyd Mayweather Jr. who heard everything. TMZ reports:

Sources tell us… More »


Jose Canseco Selling Gun That Shot His Finger Off

Yesterday, we learned that Jose Canseco’s finger fell off during a poker tournament which is generally what happens after you explode it off your body with a bullet then try to reattach it with a few stitches, and I’m not even a real doctor. And now’s the part where you come in because he’s selling… More »


Jose Canseco’s Finger Fell Off At A Poker Game

A few weeks back, Jose Canseco managed to do the impossible by shooting his finger off and bringing together both sides of the gun control argument to laugh at his stupidity. Even more amazingly, I learned from gun nuts that, “It went off while I was cleaning it!” almost always means “I was playing with… More »


In Response To Adrian Peterson’s Super Dad Tweet

The “whooping” – as Peterson put it when interviewed by police – occurred in Spring, Texas, in May. Peterson’s son had pushed another one of Peterson’s children off of a motorbike video game. As punishment, Peterson grabbed a tree branch – which he consistently referred to as a “switch” – removed the leaves and struckMore »


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