More Spider-Man stories

‘Captain America: Civil War’ Trailer Has Your New Shitty Spider-Man

Spider-Man finally shows up in the new Captain America: Civil War trailer, and I really wish he hadn’t. More »

Tom Holland Is Your New New Spider-Man

Spider-Man’s In The Marvel Cinematic Universe

And Spider-Man has officially joined the Marvel Cinematic Universe. That’s either a huge fucking deal to you, or you’re going to keep on scrolling. I won’t take it personally. More »

Angelina Jolie Is A ‘Minimally Talented Spoiled Brat’: The Sony Emails

I work in the media, so it’s easy to forget that people actually live rich, full lives (Sometimes even outdoors. The actual outside!) where they don’t obsess over the tiniest minutiae like studio infighting and how badly Aaron Sorkin wants to feel Tom Cruise shove an iPhone 6 up his ass. Which brings me to… More »

Andrew Garfield Wants Spider-Man To Be Gay Now

“You rang?” – These photos

Presumably because fighting Jamie Foxx has given him a taste for the dark chocolate, Andrew Garfield is now openly giving interviews where he says he wants Peter Parker to fall in love with a male MJ played by Michael B. Jordan who you may remember from such roles… More »

It’s The New Spider-Man Costume

Here’s Andrew Garfield wearing the new Spider-Man costume on the set of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 yesterday, and by new costume I mean they went right back to the one from the Tobey Maguire movies despite everyone liking The Amazing Spider-Man for not looking like those movies. (They also liked it for not cramming in… More »

Mary Jane Will Be In ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2,’ Is Probably That Chick From That Show

Casting has already started for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 which was immediately greenlit thanks to the first one still making a ton of money despite being an unnecessary sequel that you can literally feel the studio going, “Okay, now make him swing on a bunch of cranes. People love cranes.” That said, one of its… More »

You Had Me At Tobey Maguire’s Not In It:
A Review Of ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’

In 2002, I was at the height of my Spider-Man obsession thanks in no small part to Brian Michael Bendis’ Ultimate Spider-Man. So I couldn’t have been more hyped to finally see a Spider-Man movie. In fact, the day it came out, I was still at college and made a two and a half hour… More »

Andrew Garfield Based His Spider-Man Performance On Porn, You Don’t Say…

“Hey, uh, is the guy supposed to have an erection? Anyone? And no one’s going to answer me. Great.”
Spit in your hand, punk.

While talking about his role as the new Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield reveals one of his inspirations was watching the Spider-Man porn parody Spider-ManXXX which really puts a wholeMore »

Andrew Garfield Is Completely Naked Under His ‘Spider-Man’ Costume

“By the way, I’m naked under here.”
“Wait, what-“
“Go, go, Spidey-groin!”

Sorry to inundate you with two posts about Marvel movies today, but it’s Zombie Jesus Week so zombie suck it up. In a new interview with Ellen, Andrew Garfield apparently reveals he’s completely naked under his costume in TheMore »

Official ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ Trailer Officially Missing All That Gay Sex

“We’re you lookin’ at my bum? Cheeky monkey…”

Sony just released the “official” trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man (after the jump) starring Andrew Garfield which they’re touting as the untold story of Spider-man even though it’s basically the same exact story about a kid getting bit by a radioactive spider only this time… More »

♫ Here Comes The Spider-Man… ♫

Or maybe just that guy.

In case you’ve been literally nowhere on the Internet this morning, the new Spider-Man movie has officially crossed the line from unnecessary reboot to the most intricate gay porn since Top Gun. On that note, that noise you just heard was every single exec at Sony realizing they’ve… More »

First Look: Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man Costume

Sony Pictures has released the first image of Andrew Garfield (The Social Network) in costume for the upcoming Spider-Man reboot, so hopefully this makes up for all those pics of hipster Peter Parker I subjected you to earlier. That said, it’s nice to see a thinner Spider-Man instead of the chunky, Power Ranger-esque version played… More »

First Look at Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man

And they made him homeless. Or a hipster. I honestly can’t tell anymore.

At this point, I’d like to apologize to anyone who actually thought they were going to see Andrew Garfield in full Spidey gear, not him standing around as boring-ass Peter Parker. I feel like I just gave every nerd on… More »

WTF Did You Do to Emma Stone?

Let me start out first by saying I have absolutely nothing against blondes, or more particularly, Emma Stone who’s simply following orders for her role as Gwen Stacy in the Spider-man reboot. That said, what in the hellfuck?! They destroyed* a perfectly hot ginger, albeit not a natural one, but a perfectly hot one nonetheless,… More »