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The 2014 Billboard Music Awards

Everyone that’s anyone (Read: Blake Lively’s breasts) is at Cannes right now, but then again, timing isn’t exactly this year’s Billboard Music Awards’ strong suit. So here’s some barely interesting people on the red carpet who didn’t get their own post by surprisingly not having semen on them which is probably the greatest compliment I’ll… More »


Rihanna & Shakira’s Video Is A Magical Place

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I wonder what would happen if Rihanna and Shakira made out then proceeded to grind their spectacular asses all over the walls in a decadent, seaside mansion,” you’re going want to drop everything you’re doing and watch the “Can’t Remember To Forget You ft. Rihanna” video below. And if… More »


BEST OF 2012: Shakira’s Butt Has A Bikini In It

Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill,More »



A Sea Lion Tried To Murder Shakira

I don’t usually post harrowing tales of survival in the face of impossible odds, but it’s not everyday I come across one involving a deadly sea lion with a taste for human butt-flesh. The world most know of this! People reports:

Shakira is nursing a few scrapes and hailing her brother as a… More »


Grainy Shots of Shakira’s Bikini Riding Up Her Butt

In this business, sometimes you have to know when to step out of the way and let the wedgies do the work.

This is one of those times.

Photos: Bauer-GriffinMore »


Shakira is ‘On a Break’

A surprising amount of you wrote in about this one, so here’s Shakira announcing to the world that she’s not so much single as “temporarily separated” which, let’s be realistic, means exactly the same thing. The only people who don’t bang anyone else while on a break are the dead, and even that’s debatable. Via… More »



Shakira in a Bikini (For the Most Part)

Shakira, admittedly, hasn’t got a lot of play on The Superficial, although in my defense, she never wears a bikini. (It’s a two-way, street, lady.) On that note, here she is shooting a commercial in Ibiza yesterday wearing some sort of bikini/tutu dealie that shows off her insanely toned abs. Seriously, I don’t know how… More »


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