Sean Penn


More Sean Penn stories

Sean Penn Almost Named His Son ‘Steak’

Sean Penn wanted to name his son ‘Steak,’ but went with Hopper instead. Also, they’re both fuck-awful rage maniacs. More »

Sean Penn Thought His El Chapo Interview Solved The War On Drugs

So Sean Penn’s Head’s Getting Cut Off

Sean Penn interviewed El Chapo for Rolling Stone, which ended with the drug lord being captured the day the article was published. Whoops. More »

Sean Penn Sued Lee Daniels For Equating Him With Terrence Howard

Sean Penn will apparently sue your dick off if you say he beats woman and/or equate him with Terrence Howard. More »

Minka Kelly Denies Dating Sean Penn

Minka Kelly denies dating Sean Penn now. Three weeks later. More »

Sean Penn Is Banging Minka Kelly Now, Just Burn Everything

Minka Kelly is dating Sean Penn. WHY?! (Besides money.) More »

Charlize Theron & Sean Penn Are Over

Charlize Theron and Sean Penn reached their inevitable conclusion. More »

Sean Penn’s Haiti Gala Had An Odd Guest List

Because the Golden Globes, it’s 47 after parties, and Johnny Depp’s Makeout Emporium weren’t enough, Sean Penn threw his annual Help Haiti Home Gala over the weekend featuring star-studded celebrities and a special guest who you’ll notice isn’t in any of the group shots or ever once near Sean Penn. However, this old pervert was… More »

The Bonnie & Clyde of Fart-Sniffing Made A Trailer

Because if there’s one place these two should be filmed right now, it’s an elevator, here’s “RUN” the mutual masturbatory mock-trailer for Jay Z and Beyonce’s upcoming “On The Run” tour starring all of their famous friends with the notable exception of Gwyneth Paltrow. Which is what happens when you go around telling people your… More »

Charlize Theron Somehow Convinced Sean Penn To Get Rid of His Guns, It’s A Mystery

Sean Penn used to bang Scarlett Johansson, yet at no point during their relationship did she convince him to get rid of his guns which is what happens when you get pregnant and abort a man’s baby. (Weird angles made me say that. They have my family!) Charlize Theron, on the other hand, knocked that… More »

Madonna Broke Up With That Kid

THE DARK QUEEN TAKES AND LEAVES LOVERS AS SHE SEES FIT. That’s all the information you need, insolent whelp. The Weekly of Us reports:

This pop legend is on the market again! Madonna has split from her boyfriend Brahim Zaibat after three years of dating, the singer’s rep confirms to Us Weekly.
More »

Sean Penn & Oprah Brace Haiti For Kim Kardashian’s Arrival

“There’s just not enough room for her ass. Sean, I can’t look…”

Despite my liberal leanings, I don’t see photos of Sean Penn and Oprah frantically running around Haiti in faux urgency and immediately start masturbating into a pile of arugula at a Whole Foods. (Okay, I did do that, but only to… More »

Scarlett Johansson Wants Sean Penn To Have All This Sexy Again


Here’s Scarlett Johansson on location for The Avengers in New Mexico this morning and looking like absolute hell which isn’t going to win Sean Penn back. Oh, yeah, that’s happening. Us Weekly reports:

On June 4, the Avengers star didn’t seem ready to give up on their unlikely romance. At… More »

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn Were at The Spike Guys Choice Awards

“Hope nobody I had sex with is here. D’oh!”

Despite calling it quits last week, the decreasingly hot Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn still showed up to The Spike Guys Choice Awards Saturday night, albeit separately, and even briefly posed together backstage before running in opposite directions. Her in a cloud of shame… More »

Scarlett Johansson & Sean Penn Broke Up

When a 26-year-old divorcee rebounds directly into the arms of a 50-year-old egomaniac who used to punch Madonna for sport, you just assume that’s the kind of relationship that will go the distance. So imagine my surprise when Scarlett Johansson andSean Penn called it quits after just three months. Is it because she keeps getting… More »

Sean Penn & Scarlett Johansson Aren’t Great Dinner Guests

Posted by Photo Boy

Here are Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson holding hands as they leave a party after the White House Correspondents Dinner. Not exactly a scandalous story considering the history these two have of diddling each other publicly. The most interesting part of the story, however is how they behaved while… More »

Scarlett Johansson’s Rep: ‘My Client is the Victim of Angles and Weird Shirts’

Because I’m brave enough to not know the difference between pregnancy and a beer gut, I speculated yesterday that Scarlett Johansson might be pregnant with Sean Penn’s child after seeing photos of them jogging together. Turns out the person Scarlett pays to make her look good took particular exception with that and ran to PeopleMore »

Scarlett Johansson Looks Pregnant

Over the past few weeks, many people have been left wondering just what the 26-year-old Scarlett Johansson sees in 50-year-old Sean Penn, so at this point I’d like to toss my hat in the ring by saying he put a freaking baby in her. In a rare move for the usually reclusive Scarlett, she actually… More »

Scarlett Johansson is Definitely Banging Sean Penn

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn were not only spotted together in LA this week, but Scarlett had her foot resting comfortably in what the Haitians refer to as, “Lenn Sovè a la,” a.k.a. The Savior’s Groin. Later, he’d tell her it had the power to physically heal broken earth, but only if handled correctly. With… More »

Jessica White Celebrates Breaking Up With Sean Penn, Gets Arrested

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Jessica White was arrested over the weekend after getting in a barfight with another woman. Except there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation, according to her lawyer: She was just a little too excited about leaving Sean Penn. RadarOnline reports:

“Jessica was out with a bunch of friends celebrating her new… More »

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