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Heidi Klum & Seal Might Get Back Together

“Oh, how I’ve missed your space boob…”
“Mind-bone me, Norrin Seal!”

According to In Touch Weekly, Heidi Klum and Seal might be getting back together after spending two years banging other people. So I’m just going to assume that was a simple matter of her agreeing to stay out of his cameraMore »


Seal Wins ‘Most Depressing’ Costume

Halloween was always Seal and Heidi Klum’s holiday. In 2010, they were the Silver Surfer and his alien space lover whose tits he can’t stop silver-grabbing, and the year after that they wore anatomically correct ape costumes that still have me convinced Rick Baker is tied up in Heidi Klum’s basement where she hits him… More »


Seal Wants Everyone To Know Heidi Klum’s Sleeping With Her Bodyguard

If you’re like me, you probably spend a lot of time wondering just how mad Seal gets if you violate his special camera room, and it’s apparently this mad. This is how mad he gets. Via TMZ:

“I preferred Heidi would have showed a little bit more class and at least waited until… More »



Seal’s ‘Special Camera Room’ Ruined His Marriage

“I sense he’s left the room, mother. Let us make haste and adjust the dials!”

Since word got out over the weekend that Heidi Klum and Seal were calling it quits, there’ve been a ton of rumors as to what went wrong, but my personal favorite has to be Seal’s private camera room… More »


Heidi Klum & Seal Officially Separate

When a couple dresses up as that time the Silver Surfer made a reconnaissance mission to the Yam Nebula of Purple Tittylon 7 for Halloween, you just assume theirs is a love that will stand the test of time. Which is why with sad news, and a heavy heart, I can confirm that Heidi KlumMore »


There’s The F*cked Up Heidi & Seal I Know

Apparently Heidi Klum has two Halloween parties which I seem to forget every year, because here she is with Seal last night proving that, yes, they can top last year’s Silver Surfer’s Alien Yam Bonanza. And how did they top it? Ape nipples. Heidi Klum gave her costume ape nipples. In the meantime, anyone find… More »


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