Posts tagged "Sarah Palin"

Let The War On Christmas Begin!

Last year over the Thanksgiving holiday, I wrote a giant ass review of Sarah Palin's Good Tidings And Great Joy, her bullshit book on the bullshit War on Christmas. It took me four days and over 20 hours of writing because clearly I am an idiot who hates rest and relaxation. This year, …
By: The Superficial / November 28, 2014

The Palins Beat The Shit Out of An Entire Party

"I'll goshdarn say it again, Moose Tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with." In Matthew 5:5 Jesus tells us, "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth." Later, in that same chapter, he expands on his message in verse 39: "If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn …
By: The Superficial / September 11, 2014

Sarah Palin Launched An Online TV Network

"And that is a very good question, Tom. How would I make money? Well, you see, when I keyboard my online search into the Google like so many Americans online with their Internet, I can't help but see so many young girls with their mouths open just gobbling up all the capitalism our forefathers fought …
By: The Superficial / July 28, 2014

Jon Hamm Called Justin Bieber A Shithead

Jon Hamm is the cover interview for the May issue of Men's Fitness who I'll just assume has a monthly feature called "Zen And The Art of Letting People See Your Dick." Less importantly (You read that.), he takes a crack at Justin Bieber for being a stupid little …
By: The Superficial / April 21, 2014

The Complete Superficial Review of Sarah Palin’s Bullshit War on Christmas Book

Over Thanksgiving, I decided to write a review of Sarah Palin's Christmas book Good Tidings And Great Joy because, as I slowly learned the further I read, I fucking hate myself. What I thought would be a quick, fun jaunt turned into a goddamn labor of love spanning four …
By: The Superficial / December 24, 2013

Why ‘Suspending’ Phil Robertson From Duck Dynasty Was A Brilliant, Cynical PR Move

If you've logged onto Facebook at some point in the past 12 hours, you've probably seen a family member or high school classmate going apeshit that Obama cancelled freedom of speech and personally fired Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty for his anti-gay comments to GQ. Except what …
By: The Superficial / December 19, 2013

IT’S JESUS’ BIRTHDAY OR ELSE MUSLIMS!!! A Review of Sarah Palin’s Christmas Book (Pt. 4)

Welcome to the final installment of The Superficial review of Good Tidings and Great Joy which, yes, I'm completely willing to accept may have played a part in Paul Walker's death. This shit got way out of hand, and God only knows who it'll claim next if I don't put an …
By: The Superficial / December 1, 2013

F*ck Me In The Solstice, Why Did I Do This? A Review of Sarah Palin’s Christmas Book (Pt. 3)

We now return to our review of Good Tidings and Great Joy already in progress... [Ed. Note: Because I hate myself, I've been spending four hours of writing for every one hour of reading, so this is all the intro you're getting. Suck it. - SW] 4. TRUE GRIT Chapter 4 is all …
By: The Superficial / November 30, 2013

Seasons Greetings, Titty-Titty-Gun-Gun! A Review of Sarah Palin’s Christmas Book (Pt. 2)

Welcome back to The Superficial review of Sarah Palin's new book Good Tidings and Great Joy where her ghostwriter details the quitting governor's thoughts on The War on Christmas, and why good Christians should fight back against liberals who are making sure our government doesn't advocate a national religion …
By: The Superficial / November 29, 2013

Happy Holidays, Queen Elkunt of The North! A Review of Sarah Palin’s Christmas Book (Pt. 1)

"They took Christ out of Christmas. We're not shopping there." These were the words out of my mother's mouth one December when I was around seven or eight as we passed a small family-owned grocery store off Route 611 near our house in Scotrun, PA. You see, the owners had committed the cardinal sin of …
By: The Superficial / November 28, 2013

Sarah Palin’s Writing A Book About Christmas

Nope, this is the right photo. Sarah Palin may have been the second person since Glenn Beck to be too full of shit for FOX News, but that doesn't mean she can't run like hell with their "War on Christmas" schtick by releasing her new book, "A Happy Holiday IS a Merry Christmas." A …
By: The Superficial / March 12, 2013

Halle Berry & Sarah Palin Are Related

We already know Halle Berry is batshit crazy, but what we didn't know is that it apparently runs in the family. Extra reports: "You wanna know who I’m related to?," said Berry. "Sarah Palin… That’s what I said! Ah!" She added, "In some twisted way… somebody sent me this information that she …
By: The Superficial / October 16, 2012

Sarah Palin’s Porn Double Will Be At The Republican National Convention

Sarah Palin still hasn't been invited to the Republican National Convention, and probably won't because she's the kiss of death to presidential campaigns, but that doesn't mean her fellow rich white people can't watch her porn double Lisa Ann strip for dollar bills in accordance with the good book. Take that, Obama! Via …
By: The Superficial / July 24, 2012

Sarah Palin Isn’t Running For President? GTFO.

I don't want to tarnish Steve Jobs by saying here's another thing absolutely everyone saw coming this morning, but Sarah Palin has finally announced she's not going to run for president because God told her not to. So just assume it involved the words, "Bitch, I will shoot lightning bolts at you from …
By: Photo Boy / October 6, 2011

Sarah Palin Used To Do Coke, Black Guys

Putting her opposition to Obama in perspective, Sarah Palin reportedly banged basketball star, and more importantly to her fanbase, not-white guy Glen Rice shortly before marrying Todd and becoming snowmobiling cokeheads. So basically the most believable shit you'll ever read in your life. RadarOnline reports: The book, which is …
By: The Superficial / September 14, 2011

Meghan McCain Fact Checks Bristol Palin

More excerpts of Bristol Palin's memoirs have become available and just like her chapter accusing Levi Johnston of rape, she continues the Palin family tradition of revising history because her mom's zealot fanbase will believe anything you tell them. Via Us Magazine: Palin writes that during her first encounter …
By: The Superficial / June 21, 2011

Bristol Palin is Accusing Levi Johnston of Rape

Excerpts from Bristol Palin's memoirs have been released and surprisingly very little people are concerned with the fact that a.) someone published Bristol Palin's memoirs and b.) she pretty much accuses Levi Johnston of raping her virginity away because that's the only way a good, Christian-raised girl would have sex out of wedlock.
By: The Superficial / June 20, 2011

Sarah Palin Defends Christina Aguilera

Because apparently they're in the business of publishing clear and obvious bullshit this week, Us Magazine ran a story claiming Sarah Palin said Christina Aguilera should be deported for flubbing the National Anthem. Turns out they cited a fake interview from a satire site. Whoops. In …
By: The Superficial / February 11, 2011

Tracy Morgan On Sarah Palin

"As long as she got them six diff'rent kinds of cheeses..." Tracy Morgan appeared on TNT's Inside the NBA last night where Charles Barkley thought it'd be a great idea to ask him what he thought about Sarah Palin which prompted the following response. On live television: "Let …
By: The Superficial / January 28, 2011

Kate Gosselin and Sarah Palin Didn’t Get Along? Impossible.

When I was in college there was one phenomena I consistently noticed, female roommates always hated each other. Always. Granted, most of the arguments I saw revolved around me being passed out naked in their bathroom at 4 a.m., I don't see how that's relevant. Anyway, my point is that it really shouldn't be a …
By: The Superficial / December 9, 2010
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