Sarah Jessica Parker


More Sarah Jessica Parker stories

The 2015 MET Gala

The 2015 MET Gala featuring Rihanna’s ginormous dress, Miley Cyrus’ pelvis, Kendall Jenner’s sideboob, and whatever the fuck’s on Sarah Jessica Parker’s head. More »

MET Gala 2014: WTF Happened Here?

Because Photo Boy and I know jackshit about fashion – *fingers hole in Iron Man t-shirt* – here’s our gallery of the most questionable outfits from last night MET Gala punctuated by Kate Upton’s huge breasts which are making her getup look less and less ridiculous by the second. In fact, is she glowing to… More »

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Feet Are The Next Step In Human Evolution

“I was told you have oats?”

We all like to make jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker being a horse and have a good laugh because it helps us cope with the harsh reality that she’ll eventually be shot in the head after breaking her leg. Which might be happening even sooner because apparently… More »

Christina Hendricks: Making Butts on Chests Look Fancy Since 1975

Here’s Christina Hendricks at the premiere of I Don’t Know How She Does It last night where I’m assuming her massive translucent breast-orbs stole the spotlight from the star of the movie Sarah Jessica Parker. “Like a gotdamn titty mountain up in here,” mavens of high society were overheard saying followed by hushed whispers of… More »

The 82nd Annual Academy Awards

And now for the final roundup where I just give everybody nicknames because if I see another red carpet photo I’m 90% positive I’ll shit an Oscar statue.

Butt-gantor and her faithful sidekick, Picante Bones
Alotta Fagina
PieTrap Canyon
I’ll Star in Anything
MyShitty DontStinkerson
No BelongyHere
Proof Shia LaBeouf is a Pedophile
More »

Blake Lively is a dame and other news

- Lourdes Leon recreates Madonna’s iconic “Like a Virgin” outfit which means it’s only a few years until she’s snatching babies from small African villages. They grow up so fast. [PopEater]

- Victoria Beckham’s bolt-ons make the cover of Elle. [Lainey Gossip]

- Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan take their love public. More »

Sarah Jessica Parker is having some form of intercourse in a city

Sarah Jessica Parker started filming scenes for Sex and they City 2 in New York yesterday, but none of you are even reading this because you’ve just had your eyes seared by Sarah Jessica’s crotch. That being said, I expected there to be more tentacles gripping a wooden treasure chest with Matthew Broderick’s testicles… More »

Khloe Kardashian gets Kim drunk

- Kim Kardashian got trashed at Khloe’s 25th birthday and somehow a sex tape didn’t emerge. I’m as shocked as you are. [Khloe Kardashian]

- Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick want you to look at the new babies they bought. Or as I like to call them the “Sorry I Cheated… More »

Britney Spears: Stateside and braless

- Robert Pattinson continues to film that movie that’s not about vampires. Until after the first test screening that is. [Lainey Gossip]

- Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are the proud parents of twins. From another woman’s vagina. Awww yeah! [Pink is the New Blog]

- Kevin Federline owes the IRS… More »

Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick will shut you up. With twins!

In response to rumors they’re getting a divorce, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have announced they’re expecting twins. Via surrogate that is. The AP reports:

Parker, 44, and Broderick, 47, “are happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate. The entire family is… More »

Hugh Jackman thinks he’s so tough…

- Hugh Jackman arrives at the Sydney premiere of Wolverine by jumping out of a helicopter. Somebody should put this guy in one of those superhero movies. [Vulture]

- Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are finally divorcing. He wants to date other women while she just wants to realize her dream of competing… More »

Sarah Jessica Parker has lost her damn mind

Sarah Jessica Parker wants to cast Britney Spears in the new Sex and the City movie, according to MTV UK:

It seems Britney who made her cameo on US TV show How I Met Your Mother last year would play a young relative of SJP’s character Carrie Bradshaw.
Sarah Jessica told friends: “My idea… More »

Sarah Jessica Parker is packing her bags

Seen here apparently wearing my bathrobe in public, Sarah Jessica Parker is getting the ready to hit the ol’ dusty trail and move away from the allegedly unfaithful Matthew Broderick, according to Star:

“The time has come when she realizes it just isn’t worth it,” a friend of the couple tells Star. “Sarah Jessica… More »

Matthew Broderick caught cheating on Sarah Jessica Parker

Matthew Broderick is allegedly having an affair with a 25-year-old youth counselor he met at a bar earlier this year. Eyewitnesses claim to have seen the two together numerous times while Sarah Jessica Parker was in LA filming Sex and the City: The Movie, according to Star:

Sources say the woman felt… More »

Sarah Jessica Parker had her mole removed

Hey, everybody! Sarah Jessica Parker had her mole removed which makes her 1/1,000th less abrasive to look at. Yay!

Photos: Splash NewsMore »

Sex and the City NYC Premiere: I hope they wear insane dresses. Oh, good!

Sarah Jessica Parker and the girls dazzled New York last night at the premiere of Sex and the City: The Movie. And by dazzled I mean these broads look ridiculous. For a show that’s about fashion you’d figure they’d at least look somewhat hot and not like my high school prom if everyone was 40. More »

Sarah Jessica Parker finds a way to distract me from her face – THANK YOU!

Sarah Jessica Parker attended the London premiere of Sex and the City: The Movie yesterday. It would appear that, earlier in the day, Sarah Jessica decided to pay somebody real money for the ten-foot tall vegetation jutting out of her head. Because there’s nothing like showing up for the most relevant thing you’ve done in… More »

Sarah Jessica Parker won’t eat with SATC girls

Sarah Jessica Parker and her Sex and the City co-stars (From left to right: ACK!, Horseface, I’d Do that Old Ass, The Obligatory Hot One) act friendly and cordial in front of the cameras, but Sarah Jessica didn’t sit with her cast mates during a gala Monday night. NY Daily News reports:

The… More »

Celebrity blow-up dolls: Creepy or pure genius?

In the most disturbing merchandising move ever, Pipedream Products (Link is totally NSFW!) released these celebrity blow-up dolls which feature plastic versions of Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Alba and, oddly, Sarah Jessica Parker. Since I’m a sad little clown, I did get a laugh out of the text for Sarah Jessica. Though… More »

Sarah Jessica Parker is classically beautiful (i.e. ugly)

Where’s He-Man? Skeletor’s running around in a wedding dress again. No, hold on, it’s Sarah Jessica Parker on the set of the Sex and the City movie. Gross. So the guy who has to marry her committed some sort of awful crime right? What’d he do; murder the president’s daughter by blowing up… More »

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