Posts tagged "Samantha Ronson"

Nicole Richie & Samantha Ronson Were in Bikinis. Oh, Good.

I’ve never once considered Nicole Richie attractive, but then again I’ve never seen her stand next to Samantha Ronson in a bikini before, so let me safely say Nicole now looks as beautiful as the glowing, radiant face of the “Virgin” Mary as her eyes of tear-filled joy look down upon the baby Jesus for…

The Superficial / September 27, 2011

Lindsay Lohan Was Concerned With Samantha Ronson’s Drinking, Those Words Just Happened

Seen here smirking for her DUI mugshot as most celebrities do in California after a fun-filled hour of handling guns and working the sirens, Samantha Ronson reportedly has a drinking problem if you believe the sources in this story which you shouldn’t as I’ll explain later. TMZ reports:
We’re told … in the past couple…

The Superficial / August 2, 2011

Samantha Ronson Got a DUI

“Officer, are ya gonna arrest me or bust my balls? My actual, physical balls. Which I have.”
Lindsay Lohan’s former lover turned perpetual stalking victim Samantha Ronson was arrested for DUI yesterday after trying to drive home from Vegas completely shit-faced, proving lesbians really do think like dudes. TMZ reports:
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ,…

The Superficial / August 2, 2011

Lindsay Was Only Drinking Tea, You Guys

And just like the other 50 times Lindsay Lohan has arrived in court only to walk away with a mere slap on the wrist that turns out to be a pat on the head, here are the avalanche of stories that have sloughed off her drunken, freckled funbags:
– Lindsay is, again, claiming she failed…

The Superficial / June 24, 2011

Lindsay’s a Lesbian Again. In Theory.

Judging by this tweet this morning sent by the guy.. thing and reports of them spending Valentine’s Day together, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are probably having heterosexual intercourse right now. Penis into the vagina:
watching grey’s anatomy-my fav show- @lindsaylohan sleeping next 2 me- should i wake her up to let her know her…

The Superficial / February 18, 2011

Nicole Richie Was Probably Doing Coke

In my haste to post what was clearly going to be Exhibit A in the resulting trial from Lindsay Lohan murdering Samantha Ronson with a hobo shiv, I somehow forgot to gaze directly into Nicole Richie’s nostril. Fortunately commenter “Jill” has better journalistic skills than I do and wasn’t afraid to stare into the abyss.

The Superficial / January 26, 2011

Lindsay Lohan is Gonna Love This

Nope. No one’s doing coke here. — Okay, maybe that guy getting out of the car.
Samantha Ronson and Nicole Richie went out last night and had a good time without Lindsay Lohan so right away their deaths are being plotted as we speak. Not to mention it looks like Sam snorted enough blow to…

The Superficial / January 25, 2011

Lindsay Lohan is Obsessed With This

A lot of times bastions of critical thinking such as myself attempt to claim that Lindsay Lohan is a crazy person using such tangible arguments as her parents, her history of drug and alcohol abuse – fueled by her parents – and flagrant disregard for babies riding in strollers – because she has shitty parents.

The Superficial / January 14, 2011

Samantha Ronson Actually Believes Lindsay

Despite essentially laughing about it in the press, Lindsay Lohan has somehow convinced Samantha Ronson that she didn’t mean to move next to her and honestly had no idea where she lived. I’m going to assume there was lots of pretending all the maps and blueprints were nothing but giant coke straws because, let’s be…

The Superficial / January 10, 2011

Lindsay Lohan Admits She Moved Next to Sam On Purpose, Isn’t Going Anywhere

While reports suggested she had no idea her apartment was directly next to Samantha Ronson’s and planned to move to avoid any problems, Lindsay Lohan actually took the time to deny those reports and essentially made it clear she’s a crazy person who isn’t going anywhere. E! News reports:
When quizzed by E! News about…

The Superficial / January 6, 2011

♫ There She Is… Miss Crack America… ♫

Seen here for the first time since leaving rehab, Lindsay Lohan is already going into spin control after it was reported she moved next door to Samantha Ronson who was legitimately caught off guard, unlike Lindsay who wants you to believe it was all pure coincidence. TMZ reports:
Sources close to Lindsay tell us &#8230…

The Superficial / January 5, 2011

Samantha Ronson is Pissed About Something. Who Knows?

Samantha Ronson tried to leave her Venice Beach apartment building yesterday, only to find a moving van blocking the exit while unloading boxes into the building directly next to hers. Annoying, but hey, these things happen. Then she found out who the moving van belonged to: The new-and-improved Lindsay Lohan who’s clearly learned so much…

The Superficial / January 4, 2011

Gargoyle Man: ‘I’m Not Dating Christina Aguilera’

Seen here letting everyone know being married to a Mole-Person didn’t leave her with claws suited for subterranean burrowing, Christina Aguilera is not dating Samantha Ronson who just denied the rumors to TMZ this afternoon. Of course, this means one thing and one thing only: Christina Aguilera hates getting oral sex. Frankly, I didn’t think…

The Superficial / October 27, 2010

Samantha Ronson is Stealing Our White Women

Just when you thought you had a crack at the now-single Christina Aguilera, word continues to pour in that Samantha Ronson already has her scorpion hooks in her because lesbians really have those. (A kid on the bus told me.) Not only was Sam spotted leaving Christina’s house the day she announced her separation from…

The Superficial / October 19, 2010

That’s Not Joel Madden…

Rumors that I was too lazy handsome to post about have been circulating all summer that Joel Madden has been cheating on Nicole Richie which probably explains these photos of her in Cabo yesterday casnorkeling with a mystery dude. However, she’s also there with Samantha Ronson, so for all we know this is just some…

The Superficial / September 20, 2010

Lindsay Lohan [Insert Failure Here]

Lindsay Lohan continued to excel at life this weekend by managing to get kicked off a film and banned from Trousdale within 12 hours of each other. Page Six reports:
“Samantha was DJ-ing and went to sit with her friends when Lindsay stormed over and threw a glass at her head. Glass flew everywhere, and…

The Superficial / April 26, 2010

Samantha Ronson spit on Lindsay Lohan. Or not.

Lindsay Lohan claims she was spat on last night by Samantha Ronson and apparently not in the good lesbian way. Via Twitter:
Fun @coachella but tonight @ my friernds bday party, @samantharonson spit in my face and left w/ @mileycyrus ‘s ex
Samantha Ronson, of course, denies the whole thing and I’m inclined to believe…

The Superficial / April 21, 2010

Lindsay Lohan talks fake lesbiantry

Here’s Day 2 of Lindsay Lohan’s interview with The Sun where she opens up about not realizing she loved women until everyone started paying attention to her again. (Probably not her exact words, but that’s how I interpreted it.):
On Samantha Ronson:
“I never really thought about women before, it kind of just happened with…

The Superficial / February 23, 2010

Samantha Ronson beats Lindsay?

Gossip Cop has “debunked” recent reports claiming Samantha Ronson is physically abusing Lindsay Lohan:
Without furnishing any specific time or place where Ronson was allegedly “violent” with Lohan, RadarOnline quotes an unnamed source saying, “One time I saw her [Lindsay] and she had a large welt on her head… She told me that Sam beat…

The Superficial / February 8, 2010

Lindsay Lohan is the Bruce Banner of drunks

Lindsay Lohan was on the warpath last night and reportedly threw a drink in Samantha Ronson’s face after the two got into an argument at Crown Bar, according to RadarOnline:
“Lindsay was drinking straight out of a bottle of vodka and I saw her take an orange prescription bottle out of her bag and po…

The Superficial / February 5, 2010
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