Posts tagged "Ronnie Ortiz-Magro"

MTV Cancelled ‘Jersey Shore’

You might say they jet-packed the shark. — I’ll go kill myself now.
Speaking of New Jersey being the pride of America, MTV has finally decided to pull the plug on Jersey Shore which is really the only acceptable response to one of these kids successfully reproducing that doesn’t involve a shotgun and an outhouse…

The Superficial / August 30, 2012

Public Service Announcement: Herpes is Airborne Now. Repeat. Herpes is Airborne Now.

“And so, gentlemen, what I propose is this: We take young men and women of ill repute who have over time acquired a myriad of diseases transmitted from intercourse, adorn them in provocative swimwear so as to be pleasing to the eye and then give them all jetpacks. From there, America’s shores will crumble paving

The Superficial / June 25, 2012

Deena Cortese Won’t Stop Wearing Bikinis And Other News

- Chivettes Bored At Work still won’t make me want to work in an office. But good effort. [theCHIVE]
- Prince William is 30 now which just made a bunch of people feel really old. [Lainey Gossip]
- 21 Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity (Needs more Kate Upton.) [BuzzFeed]
- Gabriel Aubry

The Superficial / June 21, 2012

JWoww Wants To Get Pregnant, Too

If you thought the worst thing that could happen as a result of Snooki getting pregnant is that her child will eventually learn what his mother is, well.. okay, you’re right. Shut up. But the second worst thing that could happen is she makes the other walking piles of greasy melanoma in the Jersey Shore…

The Superficial / June 15, 2012

VMAS: All This Should’ve Died In The Hurricane, But Noooooooo

To further emphasize the fact it hasn’t showed music videos in over a decade yet still give out awards for them because its viewers just want to stare at moving pictures of anything, literally anything, MTV not only invited the cast of Jersey Shore (Minus The Situation who’s apparently going to shit into the hand…

The Superficial / August 28, 2011

Ronnie Kicked The Situation’s Ass

Because steroids turn grown men into slap-happy, emotional housewives, Ronnie apparently made The Situation’s face look like this on the set of Jersey Shore last night after the two got into a drunken fight which let’s go ahead and assume was about Sammi. Because it’s pretty obvious this show only has one writer who’s just…

The Superficial / May 24, 2011

‘Jersey Shore’ is Going to Be About Ronnie and Sammi Fighting Again

If you actually thought the new season of Jersey Shore in Italy was finally going to have a different storyline that’s not Ronnie and Sammi fighting every goddamn second, surprise! They’re back together. Now that I’ve crushed the hopes and dreams of anyone stupid enough to watch the show, here’s Deena Cortese with a penis

The Superficial / May 23, 2011

They all get girlfriends.

Should I have said Spoiler Alert?
Here’s Pauly D and Vinny of Jersey Shore posing with their “girlfriends” in Miami because apparently MTV’s going to shoehorn in a storyline that doesn’t involve these kids forgetting what their nicknames are and/or drunkenly banging Cuban immigrants as they wash ashore. “I’m pretty sure I’m Cannoli and you’re…

The Superficial / May 17, 2010