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Robert Pattinson Dances Exactly Like You Expect Him To Dance

Robert Pattinson is a helluva dancer. More »


Rich F*cking Assholes Acting Like Hippies (Coachella)

It’s that time of the year again when celebrities spend thousands of dollars to hang out with other celebrities and pretend they’re all dirty hippies. More »


It’s Robert Pattinson’s New Girlfriend In A Bikini

Robert Pattinson’s previous girlfriend avoided direct sunlight unless it was to get her vagina licked by another man, so it must be a nice to finally date someone he can take to the beach and who doesn’t even complain when the paparazzi take detailed photographs of her taint. And people said it was downhill for… More »



Robert Pattinson Isn’t The New Indiana Jones

Rupert Sanders’ car belongs in a museum!”

Because England is a silly place, the British tabloids started a rumor that Robert Pattinson would be the new Indiana Jones which the Internet went fucking batshit over because everyone remembers when Powder played Young Indiana Jones. (I have my finger on the pulse of the… More »


The Paparazzi Wrote ‘I Love Rob’ On The Hood of Kristen Stewart’s Truck

Above is a video of Kristen Stewart walking out to her truck after the paparazzi decided to write “I Love Rob” on the hood. And normally I’m on the side of the paparazzi because without them we’d have no idea what Brandi Glanville’s underwear looks like drunk, but this was a pretty dick move with… More »


Robert Pattinson’s Banging Elvis’ Granddaughter

Here’s Elvis granddaughter Riley Keough who, according to the Daily Mail, is dating Robert Pattinson, so right off the bat you know she passed the first test of hates cunnilingus. That said, people are trying to say she looks like Kristen Stewart which a. huh? And b. is probably one of the worst things you… More »


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